So I got a call from an old friend of mine and we decided to hang out. Someone I suppose I consider a best friend since we used to hang out a lot. After hearing about how happy he was in life, bragging about video games he's playing, girls he's dating, and all the other friends in his life he hangs out with, I ended up tell him my story.
Considering his parents have given him everything he has, apartment, car, schooling, bank account full of money and he doesn't even have a job, he was pretty apathetic to my situation. Basically said, "At least it's a way out" in regards to deciding to shoot myself in the brain.
I suppose that's what being spoiled in life makes of you. Someone completely careless even in regards to those that are supposed to be your friends. But with so many friends I guess losing just one doesn't matter. We are all just replaceable as all the wealth from his parents will bring him more happiness and attract more friends.
What else could he do though anyway. Not like he can get me a job, but I was surprised that he just generally didn't care. I guess when it comes down to it there's no one that's going to help you even when you're facing living on the streets with no money, no care, no shelter, and no food.
Officially I guess there are no such things as real friends. Anyone that genuinely loves one another unless you are doing something for them. And if you're not, you don't matter regardless of anything else. It's such a disconnected society that's all about what you can do for someone else.
Even lately as "the land of the free" goes into these so called "recessions" the divorce rate sky rocketed to 50% as the financially stable have lost their jobs in order to supply their loved ones with what they are used to. True love is non-existent and really is just a modern form of prostitution. As long as you buy your loved one a big house, expensive gifts, a car, and plenty of spending money, they'll give you children, loyalty, and sex in return while disguising it all with this aspect of "love."
It's a shame really to only realize once and for all that we are all alone. I guess it's evident as even charities are probably just really in it for the tax break as opposed to genuinely helping others by doing good. I suppose the proof there was how many children were reported sexually harassed even under "the house of god."
They say that if you only give a infant what it needs to survive and neglect it of genuine love it will simply die.
I see now that the meaning of life isn't happiness. Happiness is the result of love. Love is actually the meaning of life as everything that is born needs some sort of nurturing love. Even in the animal kingdom those cubs needs the love and protection of their mothers, and without they would simply die. Schools of fish are probably just as much of an example of love.
Without love and friendship which results in the product of happiness, what exactly is the point.
I think project1999 RNF is a good example of the result when love and friendship are completely absent. Nothing but a spiraling vortex of pure hatred towards one another due to the simple fact that most everyone is neglected of the most important things in life which is love and friendship. I suppose this is why the majority of the world is so cruel to one another completely consumed in greed and apathy.
With all that I understand now, why in the world wouldn't I shoot myself in the head.
|