[Rygar]

Excellent feedback Skarlorn, thanks for taking the time to give it! Question about the 'pulling from' as opposed to 'filling' you... are you saying that's a bad thing? I kind of like letting some people fill in the gaps with their own EQ experiences with spells, items, etc... such as not exactly explaining what the OT mallet is or the Field of Bone alchemy potion. My audience is definitely the well-versed EQ player and not people outside the game.

I tried to develop some quirks and such with the characters (particularly Cheich who has a reputation like that in our guild!), but there were definitely times where I short cut it just because I wanted to get on with the story.

I know it is a big wall of text, soooo wish I had patience like Sneaksy or Kraddok to develop the shots, its a lot more work than I thought. I could have broken it into smaller parts for the audience at large, but I guess its my personal preference to see it as a longer story with some heft to it.

I hope the later chapters win you over! Would love continued feedback, I have a few more stories after Bardoc's Quest in the works, will try and keep those trimmed down.