[myriverse]

Originally Posted by India [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

1. There is a reason why we refer to dogs as “man’s best friend,” and it’s because they have a special connection with us that no other animal does. They read our communication cues, look to us for direction, and feel with us (unlike their disdainful, indifferent cousin, the cat).

Cats feel too. Whenever one of us is sick, out cats keep vigil over us. The dog was completely oblivious to our feelings.

5. Unlike cats, who often show complete disregard for their owners until food is being taken down from a shelf, dogs will run up to you as you walk in the door because a few hours at work for you is an eternity without their best friend for them.

There is such thing as being too needy.

9. While they have a diverse range of interests, not one of their activities includes licking their hair off and vomiting small piles of fiber around your house.

Because they can't be arsed for personal hygiene.

10. (That said, sometimes they eat a little too much grass and throw up fluorescent green puddles, but this is a more rare occasion and is heavily balanced by the humor factor.)

And they eat their own dung.

11. Despite the fact that they’re likely dying inside with impatience and constipation, dogs will wait patiently for you to give them the signal that it’s okay to go out. You can torture them with a high-pitched “Wanna go out???” for basically as long as you want, if you’re totally evil.

No. Just no.

12. They don’t poop in boxes in your house that you then have to empty out by hand like a medieval serf.

Right. They don't care about boxes. They have to be trained for house living. You would think they'd have developed this instinct after the 20-30k years they've lived amongst us. Cats, on the other hand, pretty much instinctively know that box with rocks in it is for waste.

13. There is a size and shape of dog for everyone, from the Great Pyrenees who will fill all your Winterfell-related needs, to the trembling chihuahua that can be dressed up humiliatingly and carried around in your oversized purse.

Cats, on the other hand: one size fits all! Perfection!

14. When you are sad, they know, and they will come over to you with that look that’s like, “Hey, large, hairless dog that I love, please stop being sad. There are so many tennis balls to be thrown, the world is a beautiful place.”

As said above. Nah.

15. Much like Snow White, they befriend all matter of fauna and engage them in hilarious games. They are basically the only animals that are just like the Disney version of themselves.

"Befriend." Riiight.

17. If you have neither the money nor the pipe network to have a garbage disposal, your dog’s dish is a viable substitute for all the things you don’t want to throw away. (Yes, they would love those pieces of fat you cut off your steak, thank you for asking!)

Okay. I agree very much with this. My beagle, rest her soul, would eat anything: Brussels sprouts, strawberries, and bathroom doors were her favourite.

24. When you put socks on them, they will look at you with the unmistakable gaze of, “Why, human? I have only loved you, what have I done to deserve this?”

And cats will look at you, clearly saying, "This is why I'm eating you when you die."

27. It may be a cliché, but only because it’s true: There are no bad dogs, only bad owners. Dogs are beautiful creatures that we are capable of destroying, but none of them are born bad. Cats, however, are certified assholes from fetushood on. Any love you sense from a cat is projected entirely on them, or because of the camaraderie you feel with their general disdain for life and human beings. Cats are just waiting for us to die, so they can eat our yummy faces and have free range of the furniture.
Go dogs.

But seriously, eating you when you die is a plus. And smart dogs will too. Better than wasting all of that meat by putting it a box and burying it.