there is some nice writing in these pages, to be sure
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I for one, appreciate you sharing the projected fantasies experienced while playing EQ. It's a great game for that, for imagining the deeper textures, like how the ranger is tracking the dragons in the frozen wastes, and what it would be like to actually encounter a quest giver.
I could only read 1 chapter and a bit into the wedar part before I stopped for now. i'll probably try again later. something about the writing feels like it's pulling FROM me as opposed to FILLING me. it's like when you see somebody being a real "tryhard," you want to put your hand on them and say relax... it's okay lol
Definitely, if you want readers, use about 10% that much text and start using a lot of screenshots.
If we're surfing the p99 boards we are looking for casual entertainment. threads may go on for a long time, but most people are just skimming here and there looking for a smile.
So when they see text-walls (when a lot of us are already at work) it does'nt feel fun
Also, think about CHARACTER. How are any of these characters actually special? We think that descriptions of fantasy might be alluring, but when writing to this audience, who is saturated with fantasy, I think it's really important to create very strong anti-archetypal quirks, or flaws, or whatever, to add some spice into a style that can be lusterless.
Anyway pal, I really appreciate you sharing these stories. Maybe once i'm off work i'll keep reading. Just ask yourself who you are really writing for =)