OP I think your issues are more with your playstyle and less with your class itself.
Playing monk for a full group kinda sucks. Go for a duo with a shaman or a trio like mnk/shm/nec or mnk/clr/enc and you'll have a lot more fun.
Mages at low level only look bad due to ridiculous twinkage. Especially now that NPC DA/DW checks are up, Mages do a LOT of damage at high level.
There are plenty of people on the server who are lazy/bad. You have to make a friends list and/or join a guild and find the ones who don't suck.
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