This is a story of how I learned to make 2k plat per hour on a level 37 Rogue.
I am posting this now because thanks to Telin, Seafuries are no longer the ridiculous plat factories they once were. Hopefully there won't be level 60 necros with their lich pets farming half the island, or 60 epic shamans rooting 5 clops at a time and clicking them to death. Because when that happened, a hero was made... A reluctant hero, but one who could not turn down the lure of insane amounts of plat for no effort on his part...
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...That hero was Borgnach, rogue extraordinaire.
About a month ago, I learned that Seafuries could be pickpocketed. I also learned that my level 37, totally untwinked, classic geared Rogue, could pickpocket them. My Rogue philosophy is that a Rogue should always take opportunity as he sees it. A rogue should seek to make the largest capital gains with as little effort as possible. Most of all, a rogue should avoid having to fight his enemies if he can steal what he needs.
Borgnach has had a long history of these Best Rogue practices. As a low level, I made a small fortune by stealing a Black Pearl off a Hill Giant. Later, I gained a level off of the exp gained purely by robbing Left Goblin Ears from the groups hunting them.
But there was a problem. They could tell I was a rogue. Soon I was getting petitioned, and while Sirken decreed Rogue Pickpocketing was "classic," the players were just a little too upset. I was getting very strong hate messages in game. People wanted me to die. I was a cuck, a homosexual, all manner of flames! For what? For simply BEING ME???? Rude.
I then determined that a Rogue should be capable of subtle, yet powerful illusions to deceive those around him.
Every hero has a sidekick. The case is the same here. Borgnach could not have made 2k plat per hour off the seafuries if he hadn't had his sidekick...
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Meet my Axe. My axe is worth about 10k now. My axe has a worn effect that I like to call Illusion: Warrior.
Borgnach has no skill in 2H Slashing, but still he manages to deal 37 points of damage with this axe on a consistent basis.
To complete the illusion, all it took was a little bit of writing to throw off the more curious gem farmers.
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And then on top of that, I really did kill the goblins. But between the goblins, what was I doing?
Running in circles around Seafury island, pickpocketing everything in sight.
My Modus Operandi was to log in, drink a dose of my SoW potion, and then run in circles stealing all gems possible. All gems must go!! Usually, I did not remain logged in for more than 20 minutes, because waiting on respawns is boring.
Sometimes, no one was there, so I would be in more danger because if the seafuries caught me I couldn't kill it. When this happened, I often kited seafuries for ten minutes until someone logged on and I could beg a levitate. Then I would run to another island and lose aggro.
But as we know, most of the time there were more players than cyclops. And this was the best time to pickpocket, because I was very safe. I could run up to your seafury, take the Ruby Crown, take the Toes, and take the Crystallized Sulfur, only stopping when I hit raw coin, and then run off and bandage up.
If players had figured out what I was doing, here is how they could have handled it: wait until I got aggro on one of their seafuries. Root it. Log out. The root would break and the seafury would come kill me.
Swinging my Precious 10k Rogue-Wieldable 2handed axe and shouting about the glory of Kaladim Warriors, few people ever suspected me.
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A picture of my bags after approximately 45 minutes (about 1300 plat in gems).
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Departing the Isle
This screenshot is from this morning. I tried to pickpocket 1 seafury and he aggroed me. I barely escaped with my life (thanks, Snackjack).
Now, Borgnach has returned to the mainland.
I don't know how much plat I made off the seafuries. I would estimate around 15k. I spent a great portion of it to finish paying for a Fungi Tunic that I put on a twinked monk alt. (I have not played this monk in weeks). The most important thing is that not a single drop of this platinum is used for server charity or being nice.
It is ALL MINE.
DISCLAIMER: I never used my fortune to twink Borgnach. Instead, he made so much money that I siphoned coin off of his character for the benefit of my mains and twink alts. This is NOT in violation of <Auld Lang Syne> Rules, it's simply unimaginable.
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This incredible heist has made Borgnach one of the most financially successful rogues in server history (possibly the most given his level and gear). Most rogues who attempt to pickpocket seafuries would be met with such hate and vitriol and a flare of petitions that they would leave the island either to preserve their own integrity or avoid a suspension. However, thanks to my wielding a 2 handed axe and a little RP-writing, only one person ever called me on this (and I am pretty sure my pal ratted me out). I denied everything and kept robbing her seafuries.
My only regret is that I lost a lot of screenshots when I got rid of the gaming laptop I was primarily using during my heist days.
In conclusion, I would just like to say Thank You to Baldere, who gave me that axe a long time ago. I would like to say Thank You to the several people who unwittingly saved the life of a thief by giving me clutch levs while I was kiting multiple seafuries around the island. Mostly, I would like to say Thank You to the great GMs of this server who probably won't suspend my account because
Pickpocketing is CLASSIC.