WTS The Last Staff You'll Ever Buy

[Darlore]

Are you tired of almost downing that pesky Lizard in Cazic-Thule, only to have him heal himself? Trying to take down Phinny, but his AOE is really messing with your plans? Well fear not, with your brand new Mortificator Staff these troubles will be long gone.

That's right! With one simple whack with your Mortificator Staff your enemies will crumble and mana will ooze from their skin rendering them useless. Tired of having that Charmin Soft Wizard gate away just before delivering that last blow for the fabled Yellow Text? Your brand new Mortificator Staff will leave you with corpses of Wizards far-and-wide!

With your brand new Mortificator Staff you will be the envy of Norrath. Slaying dragons and swimming in phat lewts while any and all casters quiver before you. That's right! The only reason the Manastone existed was to counteract this powerful staff, and yet WE still have the Staff, while a Manastone hasn't been looted for YEARS. Rumor has it, this item is next up to be Nerfed by the Nerf Gods, so get yours while legacy supplies last! With a perfect damage/delay ratio, you'll be the talk of the town while thumpin' froggies in Guk.

But wait - THERE'S MORE! Have you been feeling a little lonely on Red99? With your brand new Mortificator Staff Dark Elf chicks will be FLOCKING to your irresistible staff. That's right - nothing says "Wow - that dude cast Avatar on his Troll Bits" like rocking this fashion-first thirst trap. If you buy your Mortificator Staff by September 10th, we'll throw in a free case of Elven Wine to enjoy with all of your new found fans and ALL for the low price of 1999.95. That's right! With a simple low payment 1999.95 you'll be slaying Dragons and Elves alike. Call now!