.357 Magnum Ammo

[Langrisser]

it is chemical. get more exercise, go to free clinic. i get my meds for about 10$ a pop at the college. i didnt diagnosed until 26 and im 30 now. its not been easy but its better then going postal which i almost did one day and my brother talked me down and got me to the clinic.

i went in and told them i felt strange. that was all i had to say. i went home, saw a psychiatrist once for a prescription, and began the tedium of dosing and shitting water (serotonin is named thus because it is in Blood Serum and affects Muscle tissue TONE so your guts will be bubbly).

its not a big deal after you do it. before, i felt like you and wanted to suicide bomb the next asshole who looked at me sideways. no one would fight me, i think i looked crazy that day.

i appreciate C-lo's "crazy" in a new way. GET HELP BRO.

try ordering some 5f-AKB48 offline its like pot but a full agonist and it will get you eating and sleeping and basically in zombie mode until you can get real meds. its $60 for 5 grams and that much lasts three fuckin months, cheaper than weed. im off it now, withdrawals not so good but only lasts three days of like weed withdrawals... even with weed around. im a new man today. literally almost this last two weeks, after 30 years of struggling to comprehend why anyone would choose to stay alive.

[Langrisser]

i hope you find your path to resolution, it never ends.. you start a new beginning. talk to people, even on this message boards, and you will feel better.

i mean, i dont do that cognitive therapy gay shit but... oh wait i kinda am right now [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[abacab-godking2]

I appreciate the kind words and notions of hope. I'm just not convinced any pill or substance is going to make a difference when it comes down to being evicted. I'm not joking when I tell you there is no one to turn to. I don't even know how to contact my own mother at this point and she's probably well into her 70's by now if not passed on.

If a pill was going to get me a job that would be awesome, but in the real world it doesn't work that way. Poverty is real. And that is basically what I was born into regardless of all the hope and positivity I did indeed once upon a time have in order to obtain what I have even though it is so little.

I understand life sucks regardless of material possessions and quality of living for a lot of people. Those type of people who feel hopeless and depressed while living comfortably with full time jobs and a roof over their head are more than likely the ones who truly need some type of pill or therapy.

When one is uneducated and inexperienced with no where to turn, I just don't see the point in living on the streets while carrying some type of misguided hope and positivity thinking all the time, "It could be worse." Sure, I could be armless and legless. Even with the physical ability to work and mental work ethic, it doesn't seem to be making much of a difference.

Life doesn't have too much meaning anyway. The species will continue on in existence for as long as the planet allows. Positivity and happiness is reserved for those privileged enough to experience it. It's really a misguided delusion for someone in such a situation as myself to have.

I could be the happiest person on the planet with all the hope in the world, yet no one will call for an interview. No job that can provide a manageable living will come my way. For it hasn't yet. There's still a little time.

I am at peace with this all now. I'm sure death really isn't the end. I doubt it's just one life. One life that we can experience and remember at a time sure.

Maybe there's another planet out there where people actually care to help each other. Actually value every living thing as something special and worthy of having around. Sometimes I take comfort in others thoughts of this life is actually hell. Maybe it is. Specially if those in such decent living conditions and situations find it just as hopeless and meaningless.

That linked you tube video was funny. A wealthy comedian talking about depression. All he needed was some pills and that's good that he found it. Lets take away his money and home and see what good his pills do then.

Lets drop the privileged kids off in some random city with nothing but their positive outlooks and see where that gets them. I bet most wouldn't even make it through the first night of being homeless without breaking down and trying to call their families for help. We all need someone and that's what it comes down to.

It's all comforting now. Not much for me to miss and no one to miss me. I can be thankful for that.

I agree with smitez too. It is a overpopulated world and wouldn't I be the selfish one if I decided to stick around it when there's nothing worthy to stick around for.

[Langrisser]

yea dunno what to do about lack of services... pick a nice destination and hitch hike or craigslist your way there.

perhaps start a blog and a kickstarter campaign and use this internet to help yourself. lots of people would be willing to help, its just a matter of making the need known.

the pill doesnt make things better. it lets you prioritize the pain and removes the inability to act because of the oppressing feelings. it is not a euphoriant or artificial high. it simply puts your brain more on a steady wavelength instead of dipping and staying so low. i think Unipolar vs Bipolar is the new realization.

So final advice: Do like the guy who started with a paperclip and ended up with a house.... be honest like you are, state your desires and problems, and spread the word online... start a blog and a get donations, and post updates. use craigslist and find "free" stuff you can sell. thats what i would do to start from scratch (which isnt really scratch, you dont need to invent a wheel... just realize the tools you have and use them)

no one deserves to have this feeling, no one deserves anything. but you can, and it is what it is. dont overthink it anymore, the pills help that as well.

[Langrisser]

you can value yourself and still blame the worlds problems on yourself. quitting means you're not really serious about changing things and you need help to see more light.

if you have strength of body, help someone who only has strength of mind. clean dirty things. wander around and see if you can help someone, anyone, with anything.

[Langrisser]

This will be my last post but not because I dont care. I just realized how foolish it was of me to try and give you advice when you need professional help, but its like I'm talking to myself 4 years ago and I can't let it go.

You need professional help, I'll say it again. Tell someone at a hospital or clinic you think you have depression and are considering suicide. They are obligated to help you, and the costs will be written off. Do not think about the money.

I hope people see the devastation of not having access to affordable healthcare. Everything else aside, including politics, this is the real consequences. Someone is hurting and cannot see how to get help due to money. Thats fucked up. Any other modern country and this man would have the help he deserves.

We can do better. The medication is cheap and effective. Please seek it out and stick with it, because the effects are not immediate.

I would even advise committing a petty crime and going to jail at this point, because you will be given help at the intake. What a fucked up country.

I'm hoping for you. Good luck and know that if I could do more I would. Not all humans are scum given half a chance.

[Malice_Mizer]

Maybe you should consider joining the military.

It's been the sure-fire (see: predatory) path toward financial normalcy for millions of the helpless American poor.

[ncapatina]

Epic troll is epic.

[Langrisser]

you cant fake the kind of shit he is saying, not even sarcastically. good for you that you think he's kidding.

[ncapatina]

That's why this is an epic troll, his dedication to the cause is admirable.