Rivervale Vanguard

[skarlorn]

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The Journal of Filbus Furyfoot:

"I received orders from Mayor Gubbin that the ancient dragon Trakanon had threatened to put a plague on all the JumJum of Rivervale.

In such dire circumstances, I knew it was time to take back up the sword. I joined a powerful army of Dragon Fighters and led them in glorious combat against the fel Trakanon. Our band of 18 pals were victorious, and the JumJum safe again!"

[fan D]

one hell of a tale

[skarlorn]

Originally Posted by originalman [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

gay thread

dat edit note lmao

[Jimjam]

Originally Posted by originalman [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

cameradery

[mickmoranis]

thank god someone is thinking about the jumjum supplies

[skarlorn]

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(photo courtesy of Sherriff's Department)

Rivervale has two major exports: Jumjum and Pipeweed. One of our eternal enemies is the dread brownie, Nillipuss. I had slain him a dozen times, but still he returned. I knew this then to be the work of a God.

I captured the 'puss. He would not answer my questions willingly.

"You should go, Mayor Gubbin," I said.

"What - must you torture him?" The kindly Mayor asked in fear.

"Gubbin - GO!"

And he went. I turned to Nillipuss. He would receive the worst torture imaginable. No breakfast every other day!

Under this extreme torture, which is illegal in the realms of Rivervale and the Thicket, Nillipuss finally cracked. He was the lackey of the Goddesss Tunare, who had developed an insatiable Jumtooth - the absolute WORST of teeth.

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With my twin blades I cut a path of death through the Plane of Growth, Tunare's home. Many weary hours later I came to a small rise and in a valley laden with empty Jumjum bottles, I found the putrid Goddess herself!

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But we were ambushed! By Nillipuss's uncle Ordro the Unclean! I wrestled him to the dirt and forced him into submission - he admitted to orchestrating the foul plot to steal our Jum.

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It was time. Standing with an army of powerful Elf Lords and Ladies we assaulted Tunare. These other Elvish heroes (and villains) had no noble pursuit other than the lust for Tunare's enchanted robes.

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At long last the Jumthief perished to my enchanted blades, blades bound by honor to forever defend the sacred Vale. The leader of the elvish army of dragon warriors perished, but the Last Guardian of Rivervale reigned supreme, despite taking a few hits from the terrible Tunare herself.

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I thanked Rallos Zek for my strength and swiftly departed home to my dear Misty Thicket, where I would spend many days recuperating my strength and enjoying the wholesome companionship of young hobbits.

[skarlorn]

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[mickmoranis]

lmao

[Rick Sanchez]

Rick Sanchez approves of this thread.

[skarlorn]

Originally Posted by Rick Sanchez [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Rick Sanchez approves of this thread.

that means a lot to me.

Thinking of moving this over to server chat so I can get more compliments