Worst DDoS experience gets 20k

[Rhambuk]

So since I really only have plat on my account these days and am wishing to help out the poor folk suffering many deaths and time lost and all of their frustrations I am doing what I can.

I know there will be people making up stories to try and win 20k so it will be hard to judge, the winner will be announced when the ddos attacks end for at least a 3day period, or until a staff says they have found a solution.

Rules

1- You must be UNDER level 40
2- You must be OVER level 15
3- No twink(this will be hard, honor system really but if i see you log in or i recognize you as a tiwnk no win)
4-Preferrably no alts(this will be almost nearly impossible to enforce, honor system, but I would really like to give this to someone leveling the first time and who truly needs it.
5- Must post publicly here, with excrutiating detail (the worse the story the more likely your chances, if you have to take a shot and ripp 5 butts because your stressed post it!)
6-1 post only! if you post that you died yesterday, but today you died your group disbanded it took you 20 minutes to find a port etc your first entry is your only entry.
7-You must post your characters name and level in your original post.

I WILL be making the final decision, thats not to say people who cannot enter or feel a certain story is truly deserving shouldn't send me a pm as a vote per se. I will consider them, but as I said the final decision is mine.

Good luck! share your misery! Mwuahahaha!

[Rhambuk]

If you are under 15 or over 45 but feel your experience is exceptionally terrible, you can submit but you will be held under much harsher scrutiny.

[xCry0x]

I would say a bunch of level 50-60s zoning into hate then getting blasted by lag and dying a bunch is a lot worse than anything low levels experience =P

[lecompte]

I would say a bunch of level 50-60s zoning into hate then getting blasted by lag and dying a bunch is a lot worse than anything low levels experience =P

I'll post the full story when I get home from bowling league. And I'll replace this post with it. Now.. my turn to bowl.

EDIT: I posted at the end.

[rideponies]

my worst one was dieing in Ec to a ghoul because i couldnt hit it but it could hit me and kept me rooted, then went to go to oasis zoned into NRO was still in tunnel seemed laggy i stopped moving tried to cast a spell couldnt then my game froze i tried to task manger and close but i couldnt said no access ...... when i got the game to close the servers were down i waited and waited when i came back in i was at bind. So i though what the hell could have killed me in NRO ... Sand Giant, so i ran around the sand last place i had seen sand giant nothing searched all the sand and grass i could find nothing....... begged a necro to help me i was in the middle of no where in the water i had drowned :(. Char name was meloco but he has been deleted for an ogre shaman camando no stun from the front ftw !

[Rhambuk]

I would say a bunch of level 50-60s zoning into hate then getting blasted by lag and dying a bunch is a lot worse than anything low levels experience =P

meh maybe, but id assume that most 60's are fairly well established. Id like to give it to someone that could get the most out of it.

[Flamewraith]

I died in a chardok AE group....... FEEL BAD FOR ME. 20k please.

[lecompte]

meh maybe, but id assume that most 60's are fairly well established. Id like to give it to someone that could get the most out of it.



For sure. If i / we win can I help pick the winner(s)? :)

[webrunner5]

Hey Diggles is back. yeh, happy days. :):):) Bet this goes 50+ pages.

[Vaildez]

Don't really have a good story but I kept logging into MM and a train would come to zone and it would seem like I made it to zone but the client would freeze and I would come back in dead... This happened 5 different times in a couple hours so I just stopped logging in for the weekend.

Vaildesa 26 Shaman

[Loli Pops]

I was masterfully PvP ing some random non factor scrub. Yo one handed son for real. I started lagging and had to speed up my fap. (Naaamean?) I shoot early like slow mo shit and it hits the screen as I HT with my free hand in conjunction with the sweet release of YT. Kodak moment son.

Where do I collect the prize?

[Rhambuk]

no ones reading the rules, you must post your in game char name...

[xCry0x]

meh maybe, but id assume that most 60's are fairly well established. Id like to give it to someone that could get the most out of it.

Not for the money, just to put things in perspective =P

[Rhambuk]

I was masterfully PvP ing some random non factor scrub. Yo one handed son for real. I started lagging and had to speed up my fap. (Naaamean?) I shoot early like slow mo shit and it hits the screen as I HT with my free hand in conjunction with the sweet release of YT. Kodak moment son.

Where do I collect the prize?

on the blue server =p I've no equity on red.

[contemptor]

The DDoS hit me while I was saving a group of noobs from a deadly train at CE in Mistmoore. I watched as the noobs were slaughtered by dark elf bitches but I could do nothing because of the lag. In my grief I raised my hands up and prayed to God for forgiveness. My Mom heard my desperate cries and walked down into my basement to ask what happened, and I asked her for a jar of nutella and some croissants.

Just then, the TMO DDoS virus struck my hard drive like a 1967 Chevy Malibu with a V6 8 cylinder engine with 2400 cubic feet of torque. The virus opened my CD rom drive, which knocked into an empty 2 liter bottle of diet dr. pepper. The bottle tipped over on its side and rolled across the room to where my mom was walking to get my food. She stepped on the bottle, which rolled, and she lost her balance and stumbled thrashing about my basement.

I watched in stunned silence as my CD rom drive kept opening and closing and a laughing skull popped up on my screen. It navigated to my banking website, where it withdrew all my money and donated it to p99. My Mom rolled all the way across the basement and slammed into the box of circuit breakers, which exploded in a flurry of bright flashes like those fireworks that go BOOM and then THPTHPTHPTHPTHP.

My basement was in flames and all my money was gone so I decided it was time to go. I rolled out of bed and onto my hoveround-- I jammed the key into the ignition as the flames lapped all around me. "Start you piece of shit!", I yelled dramatically as the engine turned. Just when I thought I was going to cook, the engine started and I drove toward the stairs, fishtailing around burning piles of pizza boxes and soda bottles. I kicked my hoveround into gear and drove up the stairs as a pillar of flames erupted behind me, engulfing everything and spreading into the rest of the house.

I skidded across the kitchen and reached my arm out, barely managing to grab the nutella as I sped out the door into the entryway. Then, to my horror, I watched as the ground beneath me and the front door collapsed, revealing the burning basement below. Tears filled my eyes as I looked down and watched as my monitor flickered off and Everquest disappeared from the screen. "I'll come back for you. I promise" I whispered as I gunned my engine and raced toward the fiery chasm. I hurled forward at top speed and, just as my wheels were leaving the precipice, the flames reached my stockpile of canned cheese-whiz, which exploded and propelled me and my hoveround out the front door and onto the street.

I hit the ground and spun a couple times before drifting to a stop. As I sat there trying to catch my breath while also eating nutella, I realized what I needed to do-- I had to find a new computer on which to play Project 1999. I drove down the street toward the sunset, but just before I went over the horizon, I stopped and did a perfect 180' stationary turn in my hoveround. A worried look appeared on my face as I looked into the camera.

"Before all this happened I prayed to God for forgiveness. I did this because I was the one who trained those noobs at MM CE. And now they're all dead and I think one of them was bound in Firionia Vie". I turned my head and looked down the street toward Fry's Electronics. "Shit's classic", I said as I revved my engine, set a course for Fry's, and peeled out into the night, leaving only the smoldering wreckage of a home and an empty nutella jar in my wake.



Sry, in-game character name is Hasbinbad
win

[Sajan]

I'm not a lowbie by any means but I thought I'd share my DDoS experience.

Disclaimer: I am aware that ground transferring items is dumb and completely unsafe, ESPECIALLY during server lag. But I have balls of steel, and my story begins..

On Friday July 12, 2013 at 10:00pm CST I attempted an item transfer in Lesser Faydark between two of my characters. During this time I had no idea what the server was in for over the next couple of days. It was right as the attacks that night started, but I had enough confidence that my transfer would go as planned seeing as I logged and relogged numerous times between the spikes. Needless to say, all of my items were lost while trying to relog after dropping.

List of Items I Know For Sure Were Lost
Fingerbone Hoop
Earring of Essence
Enshrouded Veil
Cloak of Flames
Fungus Covered Scale Tunic
Hardened Clay Bracelet
Djarn's Amethyst Ring
Platinum Fire Wedding Ring
Runebranded Girdle
Midnight Mallet
Ring of Shadows
Reaper of the Dead
Bracer of the Hidden
Shrunken Goblin Skull Earring
Fishbone Earring
a random Bronze weapon
1 stack of Water
2 stacks of Rations
Bag of the Tinkerer's
Treasure Hunter's Satchel

[Reapin]

I'm not a lowbie by any means but I thought I'd share my DDoS experience.

Disclaimer: I am aware that ground transferring items is dumb and completely unsafe, ESPECIALLY during server lag. But I have balls of steel, and my story begins..

On Friday July 12, 2013 at 10:00pm CST I attempted an item transfer in Lesser Faydark between two of my characters. During this time I had no idea what the server was in for over the next couple of days. It was right as the attacks that night started, but I had enough confidence that my transfer would go as planned seeing as I logged and relogged numerous times between the spikes. Needless to say, all of my items were lost while trying to relog after dropping.

List of Items I Know For Sure Were Lost
Fingerbone Hoop
Earring of Essence
Enshrouded Veil
Cloak of Flames
Fungus Covered Scale Tunic
Hardened Clay Bracelet
Djarn's Amethyst Ring
Platinum Fire Wedding Ring
Runebranded Girdle
Midnight Mallet
Ring of Shadows
Reaper of the Dead
Bracer of the Hidden
Shrunken Goblin Skull Earring
Fishbone Earring
a random Bronze weapon
1 stack of Water
2 stacks of Rations
Bag of the Tinkerer's
Treasure Hunter's Satchel

That blows. I hope they can get restored for you.

[Shinko]

i went to log on my main and it turned in to a ranger

[adament1824]

So me and my friend started playing P99 recently maybe a month or so ago. We used to play as teenagers so its been an awesome trip so far level 19 enc so far and friend is 17 sham. Onto my story of corpse retrieval hell from unrest and dagnors cauldron. So we were having fun in unrest on the wall doing our awesomeness charm tanking (awesome that enchanters are able to actually charm instead of how live was). All the sudden the lag started being really weird mind you its been smooth since we started playing p99 so we figuring just lag spikes. All the sudden shit stops responding and we decide to try zoning out for saftey since a ghoul with a giant sword is no good if I cant recharm! Welllllll we do end up zoning but the server crashes and we were not able to get back right away. Decide to log for the night because not even the forums.wiki were responding so we called it. Next day we log on were dead and naked and no corpse to be found in unrest. Trying to figure out where they disappeared to tried searching unrest says theres no corpse to be found. so like WTF! decide just for the hell of it to check again in dagnors cauldron and low and behold says corpse is out of range blah blah. So after about an hour of trying to figure out where the hell we died i ran into the water straight out from the ent of unrest and look at that corpses at the bottom of the lake. After freaking out about my poor stein of moggok in a lake corrosion and all ! Crude stein no damage done =p.

PS another crappy moment I just bought a bunch of spells from the innothule swamp shaman vendor for him and the ddos crap started happening while I was trading to him, all 5 spells inthe trade window inside upper guk trade gets cancelled for some reason and the spells poof.....60pp gone.

Thanks for my listening to my rant!

P99 Rocks no matter what and I will stay as long as I can, brings back all the old great memories and new ones to be made.

[Diogene]

So here I go... My experience of DEATH due to DDos attack or whatever caused the massive lags.
I only have one character active in P99. This is my Dark Elf Enchanter of some 16th levels... Ingame name's Pauillac, named after a famous french red wine. But who cares about the color of my skin if I drink *too much...

Anyhow. i just reached level 16 a few days ago. I must say that grand is my joy and grand the feeling of eventually being able to cast Breeze and other Haste on my fellow Norrathians... Finally, after alot of hard work, I know my presence in groups would be appreciated. *A whole new world awaits me., right?

But... First I got to get the spells. I check my pockets, and think I should be fine. I got 30pp. I need to go get first my latest animation due to my current loc... Wiki says this is being sold in HKK. Great... I currently live in Upper Guk. Does not sound too bad, I'll take the long road. Lag at this time is non existent. My main worry is Kithicor Woods. It's something like 8am when I zone in. Should not be a problem. And then, all of a sudden, somewhere in the middle of the zone, server freakup. I go LInkDead. I rush back into it to discover that I am still alive, full hp, no worries. lag is still there, and no way to display world time. i go LD again. Got back and know for sure night has fall, and undead are all over the place. I go LD near a Risen Caporal. Fantastic. Next I'll log I'm sure I'll be dead. I decide to wait like 20min before login back. Chance is not with me : I am back at my bind point : Innothule Swamp. *Good thing, I must have died close to the wall. I rush back to Kithicor, 10am. I can find my corpse no worries. I rush to Highpass, invis. Zone in HHK, cast illusion human, rush to the first floor and go LD. Got back to see I am just in front of freakin two human guards in my natural DE form, I rush, try to escape, run, run, try to gate, they beat me to death in 2sec. Now my corpse is.... somewhere. I am preparing to CR from Guk, but no idea exactly where my corpse is.*
Not extraordinary, but I fear this is going to be a painful CR.
Ps : 20k is far too much for a lowbie, split it into 4 or 5 for the 4 or 5 best stories!

[Kiwaukee]

I kicked my hoveround into gear and drove up the stairs


Totally believed everything until I read that. Fucking liar.

EDIT: Continuity errors also! You said your mom was bringing you nutella in the basement when she slipped on the Diet Dr. Pepper, but then you grabbed the Nutella in the kitchen on your way out! EXPLAIN YOURSELF SIR.

[crunkfresh]

level 9 group of friends - running through the Karanas to Blackburrow for dat Fang EXP. Why didn't we just roll humans instead of fucking elves and dwarves? Beardmancer said we should have, but I said no no Crushbone belts are way better, but in the end she sold me and we strapped on our running boots.

We crashed probably about 9 times between us, wiped 4-5, and only got ports twice. Our necro lost a level from 65%. Once we D/C'd in Kithicor at sun down. For my friend and I in the know, we were piss scared since our bind was still in Freeport (little did we know it was just the beginning of the DDoS). We hunkered down and waited till we all were back in the game and stable. In the woods mind you, I mean we could have gone to Rivervale - it was right there - but NOOOOO, Chris had to be a Dark Elf. He said it would be fun to have to sneak around and be evil. HE SAID IT WOULD BE FUN. High Pass invis adventures were fun too - "Are you still invis? No? I can't see you... drop invis. NO YOU DIDN'T OMG WHERE ARE YOU" Chris died in N Qeynos to some guard that appeared out of thin air, before he could get a bind. Then, he was lucky enough to find a port - oops, didn't get invis first "LOADING PLEASE WAIT.... EVIL RACES ARE FUN!" Back to Freeport. He couldn't even cross the stupid bridge, thankfully I still had a SoW and was able to kite a guard around with mad bow skills while he zoned in. Pretty scary when I'm bound 2 hours away.

At one point we all got separated, and despite what I tried to tell them nobody bothered to level Sense Heading. Navigating the Karanas for 4 naked people in different areas when nobody has any idea what direction they're facing is mind numbing, btw. Do not recommend.

TLDR version of our conversations went like this:

"LOL well if you played in 1999 you'd know this is the true EQ experience"

"Still better than WoW, rite guys?"

"N...no guys, the servers aren't usually like this I swear."

"Pls don't quit Chris, I'll do your corpse run for you."


Beetles and wolves and lions bouncing and lagging all over the map on the first night I was able to get everyone together to play the game I've been raving about. All. Fucking. Night.

We started a week ago pretty much when all this shit started. None of us are twinked, we're wearing cloth and patchwork with the odd handout from some nice uber dude. We lost a member of our band of adventurers due to DDoS fuckery but 4 remain - we're Toodle (me, 11 Warrior), Beardmancer (10 Shaman, lowest because 3 rerolls), Lilias (11 Cleric), and Ellouelle (15 Necromancer). I'm so happy most of them stuck with it, and we're all 12-15ish now and having a blast. Chris (Ellouelle) says EQ99 is the best MMO ever made, and has spent literally days in the Qeynos Catacombs - lord knows what he's doing down there.

(for OP's information, we'd be splitting the money to get us out of vendor trash gear ie necro is still using his starter dagger)

EDIT: apparently i suck at numbers and we're all actually lower level than i thought still, we're 11-10-11-15. there was a bit of a learning curve and a lot of rerolling due to lost corpses and discovering 40% hybrid taxes that we didn't want to deal with. we're finally picking up steam now and massacring gnolls. we'll all be 15 probably by tomorrow (jesus fangs are so OP)

[ahenfv]

Recently started playing again after having found p99 a couple of years ago (never got past 20, then forgot my server login info and had to start fresh)

One of my old EQ friends is also playing, she started playing an iksar and i am playing a halfling druid (honeyjum). I decided around level 16 that i wanted to go to field of bone, hang out with her and farm some spider silks for tailoring at the same time. DDOS hit when i was in TD on the shuttle, shuttle took off.. left me behind. Fastforward about 25minutes of skill level 1 swimming, dead out of nowhere. No big deal, had taken my gear off and banked it knowing i could pick it up in FV (thank god).

Back in TD, get on the boat, get to FV, yay. Start running (invis) to swamp of no hope, note a lack of drachnids that i really distinctly remember, all of a sudden dead again, i apparently was training a bunch of drachnids i couldn't see.

At no point during all of this did it occur to me to change my bind from Gfay. So i packed up and headed out again. Luckily i made it to swamp of no hope, got my body, things were peachy keen. The only way i remembered to get to field of bone from the swamp was down the west zone wall, then to cut across the newbie area. This part is unrelated to the DDOS but long story short, skeleton + invis = broken invis within HT range of the iksar pathing guard.

AGAIN I get back, get through TD, FV, swamp, get my body, get to field of bone, have a grand old time, do some kurns, farm some silks, thought DDOS was done. It hits again while i have a scaled wolf charmed, farming silks, die again, gfay -> FoB run again.

That was one day. Another day I spent a while in unrest during DDOS attacks and i really don't think I need to explain what that entailed, but it was a good 2 hours of me not thinking to rebind myself outside.

[ripwind]

This is long, and I apologize. If I win, I'll be splitting the winnings with my friends Masaedis and Anborn.

I started playing about two months back with two of my RL friends - who also played launch EQ with me. Masaedis is a 27 cleric, Anborn is a 30 enchanter, and I've bounced between two characters - Soph, my 30 monk and Sicca, my 25 shaman.

Lately we've been doing a lot of XP'ing in SolA and chasing after some Sol Temple quest items for Anborn. So far, he's gotten his alliance wand and some other piece. He also has half of the items for his rod of insidious glamour and some mask. I dunno. Enchanter stuff. :p

So he needs something from Enyiti (sp?) in Mistmoore. We head out and there's about 25 people in the zone - both the pool and graveyard are camped. We start milling about, trying to decide what we're going to do. He needs a piece in Unrest, too, so we start discussing that. I'm sitting there FD when Anborn blinks off the screen and Masaedis starts spinning in place. I hit them up on chat and, sure enough, we deduce that it must be a DDOS attack again.

They both tried running to the zone, but no dice. I watched a huge train wipe out Masaedis right in front of me (minutes into the DDoS) and Anborn died at the ZI along with 5-6 other people.

After things cooled down I ran off to Unrest while they searched for rezzes. Unfortunately, someone didn't hear Anborn's cries for help (or see his casting clarity on them) and they missed him with a rez. So he had to wait about another half hour for another cleric to pop in (Coeur, I think, who is a pretty awesome cleric imo!) and rez him.

We all eventually arrive in Unrest and pull a group together. Unfortunately, the basement is camped by a duo, so no dusty werebat for Anborn. We group up with a troll warrior named Meal and his druid pal (Whose name I forget, sorry!) and start clearing the upper floors. XP is flying (Except for me in my hell level), and the second DDoS hits. The druid in our group tries to evac, but I'm over by the undead knight patio pulling him and a hag. I jump off the balcony and try FD'ing a few times by the hedges, but with the massive lag I can't get it timed correctly and I die. The rest of the group wakes up a few minutes later in East Karana due to the timely evac.

That was the end of my night and Masaedis'. What follows is the rest of Anborn's night, pulled directly from my email with RL names redacted:

<Redacted, Masaedis>, you'll like this. I logged Anborn back on because Kamiene had actually gotten him some upgrades- a few pieces of gossamer/damask armor to replace the rest of my cloth. While I was transferring, a griffin came up and just mauled Anborn right at the WC druid rings. Killed him in seconds. Aaaand so I re-appear in Lesser Faydark. I bummed a SoW and ran to the bank in Kelethin to get some port money, when <Redacted, Soph> told me there was a 60 cleric in West Commons. I messaged him asking if I could buy a rez, and he says sure. A few seconds later, I'm back in the commons again. I hand the cleric (Kabraxis) 30 plat, but he refuses. Great end of story, right?

Nope! The same griffin jumped me again that same instant. He must have been in a holding pattern just waiting for me, like a spawn griefer. With rez effects on and naked, I didn't last two hits. Kabraxis saw the whole thing and sent me an expletive over tell. Then he killed the griffin and rezzed me again. Then he healed me. Then he buffed me. And still wouldn't take payment. Nice guy! I am alive and in the befallen tunnel now, panicked and logged out for the night, lol.

Strange night. Lots of sitting around doing nothing. A small flurry of activity. 3 deaths. 3 clicky rezzes. And a full yellow bar gained somehow!


All said, I wouldn't trade EQ for anything. All three of us are happy to be here!

-Rip

[Anborn]

All said, I wouldn't trade EQ for anything. All three of us are happy to be here!

-Rip

^-- That

[Rhambuk]

Don't wanna be an ass but please just gimme your in game char name, pm me if you have to!, i just want to be able to log in verify your level and thats all )

some great stories though! and deciding to split your winnings may stroke my sympathy

[ahenfv]

The money isn't important, it's actually really fun just to have those "ugh you've GOT to be kidding me" moments that we all had in classic applied today when there's still nothing we can do about it. 14 years of gaming after the fact and we're still as helpless here as we were back then to some lag. I mean, not fun at the time it happens, but fun to look back on anyway.

[Rhambuk]

That and sharing your grief relieves some stress, seeing that others have gone through the same or worse and that the community is here to help them out.

[ripwind]

it's actually really fun just to have those "ugh you've GOT to be kidding me" moments

Right. Having just started playing again, that first time you die in Crushbone and realize you were still bound in Freeport. Or in my Iksar Shaman's case, getting bound just too close to the Orc Lift so that you respawn and loot your corpse only to be brutally murdered again.

However, having deaths come by a DDoS attack are a totally different beast - because it's someone performing a malicious act with the intent to harm an entire server's population. It's a scumbag move by the worst of people.

[ahenfv]

Right. Having just started playing again, that first time you die in Crushbone and realize you were still bound in Freeport. Or in my Iksar Shaman's case, getting bound just too close to the Orc Lift so that you respawn and loot your corpse only to be brutally murdered again.

However, having deaths come by a DDoS attack are a totally different beast - because it's someone performing a malicious act with the intent to harm an entire server's population. It's a scumbag move by the worst of people.

That's true, too, but if you try to ignore the fact that some spoiled attention whoring jackass is the one behind it, you can pretend the lag is like old times! :/

[Hawala]

I logged into my enchanter and decided to reorganize my spellbook outside of Mistmoore, when suddenly I was unable to move my spells around. Out of frustration I just started hitting keys randomly to see if it would make it work faster.

In an awesome dipshit move I accidentally deleted Clarity and Beguile from my spellbook.

After getting really annoyed, I stood up and decided to start chatting with my guild and complaining about the DDoSing. (It bugs me when people call it lag, because it's not just lag, it's malicious.)

Then I saw high elves spawn one by one at the zone line to Lesser Faydark - Mistmoore. Naked high elves as far as the eye could see.

Then I saw poor Singulus running away from the sisters only to get repeatedly backstabbed to death right by the zone.

[Masaedis]

[Ripwind's wall of text]
-Rip

My part of the story:

So, I'd been sitting in the EC tunnel on and off for the last 3 days or so attempting to do some wheeling and dealing to upgrade my gear. While moderately successful, I'd failed maybe 5-6 times trying to get a Nightshade Wreath. Every time I'd see one for sale I'd send a tell immediately. Every time it was already gone. So, when I logged on that fateful night knowing we were going to Mistmoore I was pretty excited. No more of this namby pamby commerce stuff, we were going to storm the castle, bust some heads and I was going to take a Nightshade Wreath off of Maid Issis' cold, now even colder, undead/dead/redeaded body! Well, at least eventually... after we reacclimated to the zone after a 10+ year hiatus.

As Rip said were were kind of scouting out what was available. I was chilling on the walkway before the graveyard. Anborn was invis checking camps. Rip (Soph in game) was off doing whatever it is monks do. (maybe participating in the Norrathian equivalent of to Catch a Predator... to Catch a Necro, by feigning death everywhere and seeing what happens) The saddest part is that I had a 2 minute conversation with myself before I realized what was happening. "If we can't find any camps, maybe we can hit up unrest, I hear Hags are great exp and Anborn needs a piece off the Werebat in the basement." "If you guys don't feel like unrest we could go back to Sol A." "Or maybe we could go to a more obscure dungeon somewhere that we never went back on live." And on and on and on. It wasn't until I saw Anborn magically and instantaneously transform from the state that is being alive to the state that is being a corpse with less experience that I realized what was happening, and that I, of course, was already dead and didn't even know it.

After fighting with the login server for a bit I got back on, got a rez and went to Unrest where things played out like Ripwind said. But, the greatest injustice of it all was that the Unrest DDOS hit us when I was 2b from leveling =(. Then I didn't have any luck getting a group last night. So those 2b have haunted me for the better part of 2 days and continue to haunt me, mocking me.

-Masaedis
Cleric, formerly of Druzzil Ro

[August]

Character Name(s):

myself - Scrumph, 29 SK
my wife - Pizzatime, 29 SHM

The buildup:

I met my wife over 10 years ago. At the time, I was playing Everquest - a secret I deftly kept from her for about a year until she noticed it on my computer and asked about it. Shortly thereafter a game known as World of Warcraft came out - which I started playing after FoH left Veeshan for good for the quest of better pixels.

My wife, being at a different college, started playing to 'spend time' with me on the weekdays. We played from 2004-2009 pretty regularly - often in a raid guild. We had fun, we laughed - we cried. We were on multiple servers, made friends (going to one of their weddings this September, actually) and had a generally good experience. I got a job that required 50-60 hours a week minimum, so my playtime stopped, we stopped playing, and we no longer gamed together.

We've had ups and downs in gaming over the past 4 years - but usually it's been a solo endeavor. Some of you might know me as Tomtee from Fippy Darkpaw server - I tend to gravitate towards my roots. Also played some IPY - but, alas, I've played no game with my wife since 2009.

Cue a couple months ago, I'm playing here and my wife sees me playing EQ and says, hey, why not, August - I want to play with you. And so my story begins.

The plot thickens:

I geared us out in the finest of pixels. Scrumph & Pizzatime are an unstoppable duo and core group members. We aren't leveling fast, but we ARE leveling, together, for the first time since the Lich King fell. I've tried to keep things interesting for her by switching our surroundings. So far:

Permafrost->Blackburrow->NRO->Oasis->Unrest->UGUK->EK->HHP->MM->SK(KFC)

Our next stop? HHK. We venture down to kill pickclaw goblins. We quickly dispatch of the lower level ones and I go to break the warrior room - it's tough. She just got her new healing spell and we make it through. Alls well -I know better than to try raiders. We continue pulling until...

The enemy appears:

DDoS happens. "August, why can't I cast spells?" "August, it says I can't do this right now" "August, I can't hit this mob!" What's happening? Some fuckwit has decided to play script-kiddy and DDoS the server. The pickclaws, they surround us. I'm KoS to the guards and have no hope but to run. My wife follows but it is as if we're in a dream - no NPCS react. The pickclaws are merciless in their pursuit. We make the zoneline - SAFE!? Crash. Come back, bodies are in the cellar, and my wife and I are miles away on another continent. Sad day.

I explain to her, honey, it's just a one-time deal! People are idiots. I do the CR for both of our characters, she is upset - why would anyone care enough to attack an EMU server?

We are back the next night. Killing pickclaw spiritists and cabalists, the occasional warrior if he spawns in the hall. It happens again. Luckily this time we're bound in HHK. Unluckily for me, it's the last straw for her.

"This game is already old and I can't deal with the server lagging all the time too, August - I'm done"

So we're not playing games together anymore. The short-lived, awesome time we had here is over due to some idiot. Pizzatime will fade to obscurity - the potentially awesome shaman with a matching name.

Her ring was on the counter this morning. Underneath was the divorce papers.

Thanks a lot, DDoS attack.

[Bantam 1]

The DDOS was so bad I couldn't make my troll....


That should win this... your characters got to live and enjoy the world before cruely being struck down by the evil hand of DDOS.

My poor troll Ourro couldn't even be born.... its like his troll mommy was in labor and just couldn't push him out.

Finally after a day of labor he was born into the cold swamps of innothule.... the DDOS attack must have killed his mother in labor for she was no where to be found.... he was only left with a note, a snack and a club. As he began to talk he realized the DDOS enduced lag spike must have damaged his mental faculties.

To this day he struggles to live his life... obviously without his mother he has turned to a life of crime; assaulting kobalds and froglocks for their money.

[this user was banned]

I was having sex with my girlfriend while quadding in the OT. Just as I was about to blow my load, the game lagged out, I panicked and came inside. Now she is pregnant, said she is going to keep the baby, was angry that I didn't want it, broke up with me, and said I'd have to pay child support.

[Hawala]

The DDOS was so bad I couldn't make my troll....


That should win this... your characters got to live and enjoy the world before cruely being struck down by the evil hand of DDOS.

My poor troll Ourro couldn't even be born.... its like his troll mommy was in labor and just couldn't push him out.

Finally after a day of labor he was born into the cold swamps of innothule.... the DDOS attack must have killed his mother in labor for she was no where to be found.... he was only left with a note, a snack and a club. As he began to talk he realized the DDOS enduced lag spike must have damaged his mental faculties.

To this day he struggles to live his life... obviously without his mother he has turned to a life of crime; assaulting kobalds and froglocks for their money.

I think this one wins

[CrazyHorse]

I honestly had nothing lost in the DDoS attack.
I'm a level 16 Barb Shaman.
My gear is absolute crap.

It took me farming bonechips for days just to afford the measly goblin parrying spear that I'm using.

Help a brother out?

[Reapin]

The DDOS was so bad I had to leave my computer and actually interact with my family.

It was horrible.

[lecompte]

Saturday for Rapture’s raid time we formed up a few groups and gathered at WC spires to port up to hate. Grrugg, Cygnan, Lecompte, Flickker, and Pallius are in the break in group with a couple more groups waiting at the spire for the wizard to pop down and grab them – haven’t had a problem with the DDOS lag stuff all day. Port up happens and we are all set for smooth sailing, we got 1 spite golem, 1 rat and 1 ghoul. Easy peasy, Flickker starts locking down everything but the spite – a couple more things add but it is still no problem. Pallius and Grrugg are on the spite, I’m throwing snares on anything and very thing to pull them off our casters. We think we’re golden. Other group is ready to come up when all of a sudden our spells are frozen. We can still see each other moving around but nothing is happening – Grrugg is starting to get a little nervous as his health drops and asking for heals. From his perspective it is life as usual… except, for some reason, his kick and taunt keys are not coming back up. Ten seconds of this, and our group is disbanded by server , fifteen seconds after that Grrugg dies, then the rest of us follow.

I petition the wipe and ask for corpse pulls/rez as it was due to server lag and I didn’t think we would be able to go get our bodies. Server seems to stabilize. Great news! We don’t want to wait all day for rezzes so we decide to have another go at it.

The group is composed of an ungeared Lecompte, Grrugg, Flickker, Cygnan, a geared Elgorn and geared Zukoe (wizard). We port up again each of us loots enough gear to perform and get to work on the TWO spite golems, lich, rat, ghoul, revenant. It isn’t looking good, our objective is simply to break in, rez up and get out. We aren’t able to do so, Grugg dies again and Elgorn dies also. The rest of us get out safely with an evac, just in time.

We rendezvous with Grrugg, and Elgorn at the WC wiz spires – at this point Lecompte has all his gear and others have a few pieces. I log off Lecompte and on to Halmir to give it another go.

So, this time it is Halmir (played by me), Cygnan, Grrugg, Elgorn, Flickker (wizard dropped group to port down for another group this time around. We realized that the breakin would be harder than the first time after round two.) The games begin: the spite golems come, Grrugg is evasive tanking them both, all the other crap is mezzed and we are doing fine. DDOS strikes. No heals for Grrugg – or anyone else, no relief from the mainland cause no one can zone; another full wipe.

At this point, I’ve written a short novella in /petition and Rapture agrees that we will have to wait. I agree to sit there on Lecompte and not worry about my rez timer cause I was (and still am) confident that we will get exp rezzes for those corpses that will/had timed out. I have some heresy at this point but my understanding is that TMO attempted a breakin shortly after up and wiped, attempted a second time and made it. TMO rezzed up those of us who still had timers (thanks guys) and we got all the gear off the corpses that didn’t have rez timers. Sidenote: I had logged off Halmir to preserve his timer, I logged back over to him and got the rez. In the end, Grrugg’s alt is on the same account so the timers on his corpses had timed out – he completely looted one when we went up to get his gear. As things stand: Lecompte took one xp death w/o rez, Grrugg took three, Elgorn two. Grrugg, by choice, completely looted one corpse so that one isn’t refundable but I’m very sorry to Grrugg and Elgorn for the way things stand now. I’m pushing my petition thread as I’m able and I’ll try and /petition the next time I see Sirken streaming.

[Lyra]

My Fish Story

Normally, I would clam up and hide my crocodile tears about an embarrassing death, but here is my story, exactly as it happened.

Having only boxed a druid in my "Live" experience, I was a little green around the gills regarding animal charm. When I began charming animals, I felt like a fish out of water. I must have been living in a fish bowl previously, and I now LOVE charming.

I decided owning a Goblin Gazughi Ring would make me as happy as a clam. I bound myself on the sandy beach of Lake of Ill Omen and would pop in when time allowed to kill a few couriers.

I’ve been stubborn about gearing my druid, arguing I didn’t need gear as long as I could charm. When I began my venture, I tried charming a sabertooth grimalkin, but he was a fish in trouble waters aggro’ing everything in sight. My mana pool wouldn’t hold up to the amount of mobs I needed to kill to spawn courier after courier. I was determined to get that ring without replacing my feathered leggings. I went on a fishing expedition and discovered deepwater barracuda were “animal”! Holy mackeral! .

After learning this information, killing mobs to spawn the sarnek courier was like shooting fish in a barrel. Crusader Deezin is a cold fish and I was in a fine kettle of fish occasionally. There were plenty of other fish in the sea, and after porting to save my hide I would return gate and charm another.

On this particular day, my cleric was healing in Karnor’s Castle. The DDoS attacks were causing frequent delays. I suggested we fish or cut bait. The group parted ways. I had bigger fish to fry , anyway.

I logged to my druid. I gated to my sandy spot and changed my spell line up preparing for battle. I always leave heal, root and snare in the same gem spots. For this encounter I normally add charm, animal haste, fear , SoW, and a commons self-port.

With the nerf to druid tracking, I needed to swim to the depths to find my barracuda. It was fear that would be replaced in my lineup to enable enduring breath. After accomplishing my mission, my new pal and I began our attack.

I made a few mistakes on this day, one of them being NOT anonymous. My druid presence quickly became known in the wilderness of Lake of Ill Omen. I understand the excitement. “At LAST, a way out” they must have thought. I told those requesting ports to meet at my sandy bind point near the mouth of the lake.

As I approached an anxious crowd, I DID notice my charm broke. While my hasted pet is a true beast, he would cower at my fear cast. What I didn't notice prior to charm breaking, Charlie (my barracuda) had aggro’d Crusader Deezin and both were hot on my trail. Charlie reached me first, as Crusader Deezin was stopping frequently to cast dots on me. I went to fear my friend-turned-enemy and terror struck. I had not replaced my enduring breath spell gem. Fear was not loaded.

With the help of Crusader Deezin’s dots, Charlie made short work of me and went on his way. Crusader Deezin approached as I fell to the ground, gasping my last breath.
My soon-to-be passengers watched in horror, but now from a distance, as I quickly respawned naked at Crusader Deezin’s feet.

He had no mercy for my predicament, after all he was the big fish in this small pond. I ran, but was slain without remorse. /OOC lit up with gasps and moans as my riders watched the disaster happening before their eyes. “You have lost your level” shown after the second death. I was defeated.

Just then, a stranger passed and saw my quandary. He gained the attention of Crusader Deezin and kited him away towards the zone line. I was a bit blue around the gills at this point and slumped away to mem my spells safely.

I’m not sure what happened to my passengers, but they must have gained the common sense to take the boat instead. I logged off and have been drinking like a fish ever since.

Now, I’m not fishing for compliments, but I wouldn't mind a drinking partner.

[Nirgon]

Worst DDOS experience:

Sirken logging in to the petition queue every time it happens.

I'll be on tomorrow night around 9pm for my 20k.

[hikeon3]

So I started a druid like everyone else to make money and twink an eventual melee. I've been playing a good bit for a few months now.

On Saturday morning I hit level 34. A milestone because we pick up a slew of new group ports including... that's right... DREADLANDS!

So what does any curious young Druid who just hit 34 and whose camp just turned light blue (giant skels in rathe) do? Ports to DL and goes exploring! No sooner do I enter the ice cave than a yeti decides to make friends.

Yeti cons blue and hit me like a wimp to start, so I root and try out my new Drones of Doom spell. It's super effective!

Well after about 30 seconds of root-rot excitement, his HP stops moving and my cast bar gets stuck. Uh oh. Here I go, running for the BW zone line! That will save me!

I hit the zone line and nothing happens. The window freezes. I kill the window and log back in.

You know what comes next. Naked halfling at character select, the panic at the fact that it says "33" above his head, and then you log in and mem "Circle of the Combines"

*You are too low level to use this spell*

Frick.

Dead, de-levelled, can't cast the spell that got you to where you died, and no idea where your corpse actually is in one of the largest and least friendly zones in the game.

So I find a wizard to drop me into DL (thanks Bacondrapes!) and off I go to find my corpse.

First I check the tunnel. No such luck. Every nook and cranny searched and one near death experience with camoflauge wearing off in the midst of our good friend murderer yeti.

So off I run naked across the tundra to the BW zoneline expecting my neatly folded little halfling tush lying dead right at the line but to my dismay it is nowhere to be found.

I zone to BW to see if maybe I zoned over and died on the other side... NOPE!

So I zone back to DL and start the needle in the very dangerous haystack search. After re-tracing my steps for about 45 minutes I find the corpse in the Northwestern giant house. Apparently I LD-ran right into it and got murdered.

In the process of dragging my corpse backward to the north wall apparently some drachnid who can see through invis saw me and came after me. One final panicked zone-out and run back and I was looting away.

Back to giant skels I went for a few more hours of on-off killing.

[Rhambuk]

who knows when this ddos will stop, I will be accepting stories up to saturday and making my decision that evening. Announce the winner sunday and hand the plat out then.

[Flamewraith]

i went to log on my main and it turned in to a ranger

That's some scary shit, don't joke about that.

[phacemeltar]

lvl 36 (now 35) enchanter just died on the bottom level of Dalnir. i lost my pixels i guess..

[sysion]

My story isn't HORRIBLE, but it was pretty funny.

So I started P99 this past week, and I'm in Blackburrow leveling my very first character.

I've just made it brave enough to actually go downstairs, and I'm pulling to that first little room.

I hear "TRAINS A'COMIN'!" so I turn tail and book it upstairs.

Suddenly, DDoS! And what does it do? Not let me open the door!

So I'm stuck there standing in front of the door, waiting for this train to come. It comes, the guy who made it dies, and I just have to stand there and watch, frantically banging on the door as if the gnolls on the other side will open it, until they turn on me and kill me.

It was a shame.

[Enygma]

Lv 18 DE cleric... lost my red dragon tooth pet because of DDoS....

sadface.

[thufir]

lvl 36 (now 35) enchanter just died on the bottom level of Dalnir. i lost my pixels i guess..

Let me explain.

We have a little group of regulars within the Knights Who Say Ni who like to see and do things that we haven't seen and done before during our time on Live. The dungeons are the best part of EQ in my opinion so we try to go to those. Our little core group of Grallos the 35 shadow knight, Phacemeltar the 35 enchanter, Messie the 35 monk and Twotons the 35 shaman has scrapped its way to level in places like Upper Guk, Permafrost, Solusek's Eye, Cazic-Thule, and Splitpaw, crawling in the best old school fashion that we can manage. These are all our mains and we're all new to the server.

Cazic-Thule, in fact, has its own story. We fought our way up to Archon pyramid and were at the top when we wiped due to an unfortunate 3 pull at exactly the same time Phace's charmed lizard page decides to show his true colors and turns traitor. Messie manages to FD out of the carnage and a 60 druid named Mothernature hooks him up with some buffs as he half-fights half-feign-flops his way down with our corpses to the wizard spire. We loot up, determined to try again, and fight our way back up to the top of the Archon pyramid (even finding the very same page along the way, who we charm *again* - never let it be said we learn our lessons the first time). This time we kill the Tae Ew Archon and Phace, ghetto geared that he is, claims the Lizardscale Belt with need. By this time it's getting late and back down we go, fighting through the various lizards and we're at the last floor from bottom when, well... this is a thread for DDoS wipe stories so, yeah. Everything slows to a crawl, 3 lizards pop on us as if in a dream, Phace is the first to go down in the scuffle. DDoS lets up enough for me to grab aggro on popped adds while Two, who is at 10m, mems gate and gets out (at my request). Messie FDs in time. I die heroically, on the opposite side of the Archon temple from the way in, with several see invis mobs in between me and my corpse. Messie subsequently dies retrieving Phace. I'm able to retrieve their corpses, which are closer to the entrance to Archon pyramid, but I still can't get myself despite repeated attempts so I log for the night.

In the morning I roll up a level 1 Halfling rogue who I walk down to CT to retrieve my corpse successfully. Aristulian of the DDoS Relief Team rezzes me up and all is well. No idea if this trick will work again now that sneak/hide's been patched, though...

But anyway. Back to Dalnir.

For this little expedition it's just me (Grallos), Phacemeltar, and Twotons. We pick up a 30 druid along the way and hitch a ride with Mothernature (yes, she's awesome) to the Dreadlands and grab the subsequent evac to EJ from KC. We were actually going to go to Kaesora but after Twotons accidentally walked to Dalnir instead we decide that's probably better for our level range. We arrive and start killing, nearly everything is db and we are rolling. Druid has to leave, but we decide it's best to drop down a floor anyway, so we do that and crush the mobs at the drop point. OK, to the 3rd floor then. Down through the checkerboard tile into the pit, quick jaunt west into the corridor. Pulls commence, lots of Kly and coerced slaves die before whirling blades, their worlds dissolving into anarchy.

3 Kly are on us when the DDoS hits. I die in sad slow motion, watching my hp drop. Twotons and I are in teamspeak, but he can do nothing but watch as his heal spell never completes. Shortly afterwards they die in a similar fashion.

I'm bound in Field of Bone, next to Kaesora. Phace is too. Twotons is not. He spends a bit trying to find a port to OT from EC before he gets lagged into oblivion and doesn't log back in. His corpse is still down there.

Phace and I chance invising to our corpses. I scout ahead, checking for goo. None in the way on first, none in the way on second. All is well. We get down to corpses, loot up, invis. Now it's time for me to get out. Phace can gate, but I have to risk the run. I get to the coffin secret door and ...

Well, I'm an ogre. Duck, twist, duck, twist, can't make it through. No problem. I got an ant's legs potion (my "ogre tax" I like to call it). Shrink, get through. Re-invis. Dash up the ramp. Peer inside next room...

Gyrating goo hits YOU for 44 points of damage

FD! Failure! Get up! Run! Aggro more Kly! I try and find a good place to die and settle on an alcove near where I aggro'd the goo. No problem, I know where my corpse is...

... you can see where this is going. I get to the secret corridor. Can't get through. Not close enough to corpse for /corpse to work. No ant's legs potion. Shaman's offline.

Phace tries twice to get my corpse at least as far as the secret door; both times pathing goos get him. Once, he's able to gate out. Once, he isn't. He's able to retrieve his second corpse, thankfully. But apparently my carefully chosen place of death has been chosen very poorly, right near 2 pathing goos.

I permit myself a bit of despair.

While I'm wallowing in misery on the 3rd floor of Dalnir, terrified that my invis will pop during a DDoS attack and I'll get murdered yet again, Phacemeltar is sending tells to random people near us asking for help. A shaman named Zalg, may his name be forever blessed, offers to drop down and throw me a shrink. This is done, and I get through the corridor. However, /corpse only succeeds in getting my second corpse which I had left down there earlier - I can't seem to get the one with all the equipment on it. I figure, what are the chances a rezzing cleric will be on the 3rd floor anyway, so I loot it all the way up and /corpse again. This one gets the corpse with the good stuff, so I loot it all the way up too using the same logic, and am able to get out and to the zone out on the 3rd floor by some analysis of the goo pathers and a few good FDs.

Phace, BTW, has his corpse now, as the story implies. Twotons still doesn't, but I imagine he'll get it in the morning.

If this post wins the prize, I plan on spending just enough of the 20k to score an FBSS, and splitting the rest with my 3 buddies.

[Vaalkryst]

/ooc
I have recently returned to this server after a long hiatus and cannot (shamefully) remember the password for my 30-something druid. Rolled up a Shadowknight this time around and am enjoying myself very much. I can't wait to get my hands on a prenerf CoS after playing sk for a few years on live never being able to afford one.
/ooc

There I was, wading through the murky waters of Guk, slaughtering the cold-blooded alligators and venomous spiders that call it home. Disrupting my meditation, an ugly troll came upon me surrounded by the bloated bodies of my victims. "Me help you kill dem uglies gud", said my wart-covered new acquaintance. I sensed that, bolstered by the tribal powers of this shaman, I could spread the hatred of Innoruuk across this disgusting frog-filled dungeon. I accepted his offer and we continued the slaughter of spiders and alligators.
With renewed vigor I hacked, slashed, bashed, and even drained the blood from my helpless victims. Pieces of scale and blood flecked my flayed-skin armor with its delicious crimson hue, and being the insatiable hate-filled harbinger of death that I am, there was no end in sight.
It must have been on my twentieth, strike that, thirtieth target when things went terribly awry. The alligator that I had chosen to sacrifice to Innoruuk was dying swiftly, his innards flowing freely onto the cold stone floor of Guk. Sensing his imminent death, the cowardly alligator fled before my blade. Xenober, a corpse I had reanimated through the darkest of magics, chased after the creature clawing at it with his bony hands.
I knew that the frogs of Guk are no true friends of these pests and that without the presence of my necromantic servant, they would not seek out the bringer of his demise. I began to speak a command to my servant to tell him not to chase after the beast when, all of a sudden, I felt a stultifying presence come over me. It was as if Druzzil Ro herself had reached into the mortal plane and altered time and space around me.
I could do nothing to stop my (literally) brainless servant from crashing into a group of those wretched frogs! They ran towards us and beat me down as the invisible shackles stopped me from unleashing my hatred upon them. Who knows what happened to my ugly companion, presumably he was not as dumb as he first appeared and gated out of the unfortunate circumstance.
My eyes opened again as if for the first time in front of the gates of Freeport. I looked down and the wounds that had been set upon me by the frogs had vanished, though my naked form longed for the embrace of my blood soaked armor again. I have sworn vengeance upon those pathetic frogs and maybe, with the help of your platinum, will murder them even more mercilessly!

~Rimbaud
Shadowknight of the 18th order, servant of Innoruuk

[Gadwen]

ddos killed my dog and my children.

Where's my 20k?

[LordSterben]

My Fish Story

Normally, I would clam up and hide my crocodile tears about an embarrassing death, but here is my story, exactly as it happened.

Having only boxed a druid in my "Live" experience, I was a little green around the gills regarding animal charm. When I began charming animals, I felt like a fish out of water. I must have been living in a fish bowl previously, and I now LOVE charming.

I decided owning a Goblin Gazughi Ring would make me as happy as a clam. I bound myself on the sandy beach of Lake of Ill Omen and would pop in when time allowed to kill a few couriers.

I’ve been stubborn about gearing my druid, arguing I didn’t need gear as long as I could charm. When I began my venture, I tried charming a sabertooth grimalkin, but he was a fish in trouble waters aggro’ing everything in sight. My mana pool wouldn’t hold up to the amount of mobs I needed to kill to spawn courier after courier. I was determined to get that ring without replacing my feathered leggings. I went on a fishing expedition and discovered deepwater barracuda were “animal”! Holy mackeral! .

After learning this information, killing mobs to spawn the sarnek courier was like shooting fish in a barrel. Crusader Deezin is a cold fish and I was in a fine kettle of fish occasionally. There were plenty of other fish in the sea, and after porting to save my hide I would return gate and charm another.

On this particular day, my cleric was healing in Karnor’s Castle. The DDoS attacks were causing frequent delays. I suggested we fish or cut bait. The group parted ways. I had bigger fish to fry , anyway.

I logged to my druid. I gated to my sandy spot and changed my spell line up preparing for battle. I always leave heal, root and snare in the same gem spots. For this encounter I normally add charm, animal haste, fear , SoW, and a commons self-port.

With the nerf to druid tracking, I needed to swim to the depths to find my barracuda. It was fear that would be replaced in my lineup to enable enduring breath. After accomplishing my mission, my new pal and I began our attack.

I made a few mistakes on this day, one of them being NOT anonymous. My druid presence quickly became known in the wilderness of Lake of Ill Omen. I understand the excitement. “At LAST, a way out” they must have thought. I told those requesting ports to meet at my sandy bind point near the mouth of the lake.

As I approached an anxious crowd, I DID notice my charm broke. While my hasted pet is a true beast, he would cower at my fear cast. What I didn't notice prior to charm breaking, Charlie (my barracuda) had aggro’d Crusader Deezin and both were hot on my trail. Charlie reached me first, as Crusader Deezin was stopping frequently to cast dots on me. I went to fear my friend-turned-enemy and terror struck. I had not replaced my enduring breath spell gem. Fear was not loaded.

With the help of Crusader Deezin’s dots, Charlie made short work of me and went on his way. Crusader Deezin approached as I fell to the ground, gasping my last breath.
My soon-to-be passengers watched in horror, but now from a distance, as I quickly respawned naked at Crusader Deezin’s feet.

He had no mercy for my predicament, after all he was the big fish in this small pond. I ran, but was slain without remorse. /OOC lit up with gasps and moans as my riders watched the disaster happening before their eyes. “You have lost your level” shown after the second death. I was defeated.

Just then, a stranger passed and saw my quandary. He gained the attention of Crusader Deezin and kited him away towards the zone line. I was a bit blue around the gills at this point and slumped away to mem my spells safely.

I’m not sure what happened to my passengers, but they must have gained the common sense to take the boat instead. I logged off and have been drinking like a fish ever since.

Now, I’m not fishing for compliments, but I wouldn't mind a drinking partner.

Are you a writer for Smallville? The episode with Aquaman was just about as heavy-handed with the fish metaphors. That show has no concept of subtlety.

[Lyra]

Are you a writer for Smallville? The episode with Aquaman was just about as heavy-handed with the fish metaphors. That show has no concept of subtlety.

No, my job is quite boring and I'm sure doesn't pay as well.

Entertainment's subtlety is so rarely subtle, anyway. I think that is why satire has become popular in recent years.

[LordSterben]

The following takes place between 1:00 AM and 2:00 AM on the day of the Miss Sunshine State inauguration. Events occur in real time.

I leaned forward in my chair and typed my login information. It was hot inside the van and sweat was already soaking my shirt through.

"Network's stable, Jack," said the agent beside me as she tapped out code into her own console.

Her own shirt was soaked through as well, and it clung to her heaving, ample breasts. I blinked and looked back to my character selection screen. The back of the van was barely large enough to hold myself and Agent Rhodes...adding my throbbing manhood to the contents of the vehicle would likely compromise the mission.

"I'm in," I muttered as my level 16 Hobbit warrior popped on screen.

Within seconds, an Erudite appeared followed by a message.
Democrit tells you, "target in place ur authorized 2 strike"
You tell Democrit, "tyvm mr preisdent"
Democrit tells you, "dont miss lolz"

With no further pomp, the Commander-in-Chief's avatar rushed off to MM to train newbs. I hastily turned to Shady and handed him the four requisite items. The drone control window opened.

"Drone online," Rhodes said, still typing furiously.

For years the NSA had been piggybacking communications and remote ordinance signals on the seemingly innocuous Everquest server. It was rumored that the devs even helped program in the back doors in the software that opened drone command consoles, orbital satellite links and the camera feed in the Lincoln Bathroom. The network provided a flawless, secure means to coordinate counterintelligence ops in North Korea and the middle east (few people know that the command to seize Bin Laden was hidden in an EC auction) and it never failed.

Until today.

"I'm seeing some strange activity on the network," Rhodes wiped sweat from her forehead.

"This drone is going slow. I clicked the Hellfire missile like five minutes ago and it's not firing," I said just as a message came through from the President.

Democrit tells you, "wtf....LAAAAAAGGGGGGGGG!!!1"

"It's a DDoS attack, Jack," Rhodes gasped, "it seems to be originating from that Taliban-backed guild that uses RMT to launder Al'Qaeda blood money."

"TMO? Should have known."

"They already have a Cleric by T1 disavowing any involvement in /ooc. Hows the drone?"

I only shook my head. The Hellfire missile still hadn't fired and I couldnt get a trade window to open for the bone chips that I was selling. All was lost.

"Jack...we missed the window. The nuclear materials are secured in Kim Jongs bunker."

Democrit tells you, "wtfnoob...now NK has da bomb gtfo"

I fled the van before the chain gun rounds tore it to pieces. Rhodes wasnt as lucky. The NSA has me blacklisted and I've had to go dark. Now North Korea will start a nuclear Armageddon. Worst day ever.

Tyreon / Wisdum

EDIT: Since I could really use the plat, I figured I'd better make this a more legit entry by adding the details and related the actual ways the DDoS has affected me. Firstly, I play on a cell phone hotspot when I'm at home. Long story, but it's my only option. Now, with the DDoS attacks, I can't play at all because the combination of crappy phone service and the DDoS makes it impossible. When you do see me, I'm at my favorite coffee shop playing. If you can call logging with your pants on "playing."

At the start of the attacks, I was still transferring my meager belongings from my "main" (16 WAR named Tyreon) to my new favorite character (Wisdum 9 Shaman). A spike while hunting bixies in Nek led to my char wandering backwards through the forest without my consent for several minutes. It took so long for me to recover from the slow-down and inevitable crash that it was nightfall when I logged back in. Instant undead sphincter-plundering....no idea where...and I had to forsake the half-loadout of gear that was on him at the time. So I'm a newb that's only been on server for 3 weeks...and that crappy low level gear took me hours and hours to get lol. Selling bone chips...wheeling and dealing EC.

But really, the worst part is not being able to play at home now.

[LordSterben]

No, my job is quite boring and I'm sure doesn't pay as well.

Entertainment's subtlety is so rarely subtle, anyway. I think that is why satire has become popular in recent years.

At least it was funny when you did it. When its the constant theme of the show's dialogue it gets really old.

[Lyra]

Her own shirt was soaked through as well, and it clung to her heaving, ample breasts. I blinked and looked back to my character selection screen. The back of the van was barely large enough to hold myself and Agent Rhodes...adding my throbbing manhood to the contents of the vehicle would likely compromise the mission.

LMAO

You COULD have had a winner here if you had continued this theme.

[LordSterben]

LMAO

You COULD have had a winner here if you had continued this theme.

What theme? This really happened.

Hah...but seriously I guess I could specialize in terrible '24' erotic fan fiction. It'll have to wait until after I finish shooting my Game of Thrones-based Indie porno flick though.

[LordSterben]

Bump....this thread was amusing me. More stories and/or a winner plz!

[Sithel1988]

5- Must post publicly here, with excrutiating detail (the worse the story the more likely your chances, if you have to take a shot and ripp 5 butts because your stressed post it!)




giving the attacker what he wants...........

[Numbers_]

I died 3 times in Oasis on 3 separate occasions due to this crap. I decided to pull my 3 corpses into the same area (incase a nice cleric came by).

Well, since then I've seen my corpses in 2 different popular live streams, so now my shameful naked lag-death bodies have now been seen by possibly hundreds of different people.

[Rhambuk]

The winner is Ripwind! Congratulations and to all else I'm sorry to hear of your troubles 8(

[thufir]

Woot grats Ripwind/Sicca/Soph!

[ahenfv]

Grats! worked out that I didn't win, ended up losing my corpse on my druid in another ddos and just rerolled to a mage instead XD

[ripwind]

Woohoo! Anborn can finally upgrade some of his gossamer, and Masaedis can pry his hide out of his bronze.