P99 - Addiction?

[gl2748]

Hi,
I'm here because my bf is obsessed with p99, he spends a lot of time online, like 12hrs+ a day and i don't know what's up it's kind of terrifying actually? I understand it's an in-depth game and all that but it's affecting his real life, like just going outside and getting basic stuff done. I'm worried that he'll kind of wake up a year or two down the line and freak out about the real world carrying on without him, kind of like the film reprise:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6xhnSp5Gdw

I understand this might not be the best place to ask, but can someone give me some insight into this thing that's taking over his life, advice on getting through this?

PS. I get that it can equally be a symptom of something else, i'm not blaming p99, but there must be others who've gone through this...

[Cranky]

I will have a go as my life was 'interrupted' by EverQuest.

What did I lose? My friends, my job and my home. I am no writer but I will try and explain EQ and addiction from my point of view.

The simple answer is EQ or probably any good MMORPG, can be as addictive as a drug, with the same symptoms and consequences. I have played MANY MMORPG from UO to WOW, COH, Rift, GW2... but I think EQ has the most potential for harmful addiction though and I will talk about it specifically.

Simply, EQ is an unforgiving bitch. Spend two days gathering the ingredients for a cultural armour piece, hit combine... failed, not even a skill point... FUCK! Do it all again, but now you know where that Iksar blood drops so you get the pieces you need, put them in the forge, hit combine... FAILED AGAIN!! It is enough to make you cry. As strong as the feeling is when you fail it is equally as strong as when you succeed, finally I got the Dreadscale full set!, finally I got caught the AC for his ring, finally I got the farking gobbo to drop his earring so I can sell it and be 14% closer to the haste item I want to buy... finally, finally finally....

Coupled with finally, finally finally is "Just one more..." Just one more Grachnist spawn, just one one more skill point, just one more port to earn 5pp... Just one more... One more...

Ok so how did I lose everything to EQ? Well it is fun!, fun as hell, it feels AWESOME(see drug reference) when you get the haste item you covet or your guild kills that dragon for the first time., HUZZZAH! It feels really good. Ok so now you want to play EQ more but life is in the way, no problem, you say to myself that I will spend five hours at work and not touch EQ! I promise! And you do, you get your work done and it feels great, you reward your self for a job well done with another eight hour Grachnist camp!

But next time your work day clashes with the Vox spawn, shit! Ok, I'll do two hours rushed work, drop the dragon with my mates and call back the client and lie that it was a family emergency... But the raid goes long and you don't call back the client, you feel like shit. Damn! To feel better you log back into EQ where you can show off your new Cloak of Flames and talk with your guild mates on how best to drop Vox, Hell yah I got a skill point in brewing too! Twelve hours passes by and the you still have not called the client, shit'! I'll send him an email that I have the information he needs and he can expect my call the next morning, first thing. Except you sleep through the meeting because you were up all night with the guild trying to kill Nagafen for the first time... Solution?? A session in Sebilis will help you ignore the angry customer and now and a voice-mail from your boss asking for an explanation...

EQ is a harsh bitch that makes the rewards that much sweeter. Got real life problems? Logging in and killing pixels is a lot easier than dealing with them. At what cost? For me it was my friends, my job and when I could not pay the bills, my home. Is this what is happening with your spouse? Maybe.

Do I have a solution? No. Like a drug, he/she may have to hit bottom before he can leave it behind. Perhaps take a sledge hammer to his computer, seriously.

The good news is that unlike a drug, the withdraw is fairly painless. When my I lost my Internet connection, that was the end of EQ and the next day I got started on the LONG process of rebuilding my life.

Want some more insight? Check out the EXCELLENT two part game addiction/compulsion videos from the fine guys at Extra Credits Be sure to watch Part two as dude details his spiral into MMORPG:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5RSngCFpsc (Part one)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_qlumZ5K4I (Part two)

Fesk.


Hi,
I'm here because my bf is obsessed with p99, he spends a lot of time online, like 12hrs+ a day and i don't know what's up it's kind of terrifying actually? I understand it's an in-depth game and all that but it's affecting his real life, like just going outside and getting basic stuff done. I'm worried that he'll kind of wake up a year or two down the line and freak out about the real world carrying on without him, kind of like the film reprise:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6xhnSp5Gdw

I understand this might not be the best place to ask, but can someone give me some insight into this thing that's taking over his life, advice on getting through this?

PS. I get that it can equally be a symptom of something else, i'm not blaming p99, but there must be others who've gone through this...

[Grimjaw]

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=EverQuest#Addiction

The game is renowned and berated (by some psychologists specializing in computer addiction) for its addictive qualities. Many players refer to it half-jokingly as "EverCrack" (a disparaging comparison to crack cocaine). There has been one well-publicized suicide of an EverQuest user named Shawn Woolley that resulted in his mother, Liz, founding Online Gamers Anonymous.

http://www.olganon.org/

I suggest everyone here to check out that site. ^

[Izzni]

He needs to have something interesting to do on a regular basis in real life, combined with a shitty experience in game that burns him out.

[iruinedyourday]

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/50380845.jpg

[Feanol]

-Do you enjoy leisure activities more than obligations?

-Do you prefer doing things that make you happy instead of things that exhaust you?

-Do you realize that time will wash every tower to the ground?

Well welcome to being a damn human. And remember that 100 years from now, no one will give a shit. Enjoy your precious time on this planet, and remember that the only real satisfaction is in achieving the goals you set for yourself. Whatever they might be.

And don't worry so much.

[Tupakk]

Best thing to do is delete a file, and you will get him back lol.

[Faiding]

It's pretty simple, really. Addiction is rooted with some kind of real world problem, usually stress or depression. Those are often caused by a lack of feeling of useful, satisfaction, or achievement.

MMO's are a good outlet for relief because they offer artificial social integration, with plenty of avenues for feeling a sense of achievement, which is what all people inherently need.

I was young (high school) when I was addicted to MMO's/EQ so it had minimal impact on my life. A sense of achievement was what kept me playing -- and what a shocker -- as soon as I started achieving things in real life, I stopped caring about EQ entirely.

Now I appreciate it for being cheap entertainment.

[Diogene]

I was addicted to EQ back in 99 as I was young and at the time feeling useless (maybe). It took me off all my friends, my social life and dragged me to the bottom. In the end, my girlfriend told me to fuck off, then I realized maybe a month later that I loved her. I quit EQ to get her back, but she found someone else in the meantime. I decided to never play this game again.

Lesson learned. Was just a phase. Some people need to experience shit to learn. EQ is a fantastic game, whats not so fantastic is the rush to pixels that makes people ugly and selfish. Now I play casual for the fun only when I got time (4 years I'm on this server, and my main char is only lvl31 :D)
Still love this game, but I guess I realized its just Entertainment (a good one of course)

Best luck to you
PS :sorry for my English, not native

EDIT : I don't say you need to dump your BF, not at all, it was just my experience. Everyone is different of course.

[Clark]

Maybe we can have group therapy session for guilds and individuals on this pressing issue. Games kill people. People don't kill people. 2014

[Oleris]

Maybe we can have group therapy session for guilds and individuals on this pressing issue. Games kill people. People don't kill people. 2014

derubael should stream p1999 rehab on twitch once a week.

[sulpher01]

Just show him this thread... if he doesn't get the message with his gf posting here then hes beyond hope and you should leave him.

[myriverse]

Name and shame, or it didn't happen.

[Ptull]

How many of us were asking "Honey, why did you post on the p99 forums?"

[Uuruk]

Hi Lites gf

[fishingme]

Promise him more sex for less everquest and follow through with it. I only wish my gf would of done that year's ago. Instead it took me 4 years of playing too much to realize how worthless everquest is, even doing nothing is better than playing now.

[captnamazing]

Promise him more sex for less everquest and follow through with it. I only wish my gf would of done that year's ago. Instead it took me 4 years of playing too much to realize how worthless everquest is, even doing nothing is better than playing now.
This isn't a bad idea. The important thing is to get him out before he goes any deeper in. Blowjobs, steaks, enemas... do whatever it takes for you to reel him back into RL.

[iruinedyourday]

In all honesty this is my advice - ask him to take a week off. Ask him to just completely get out of the game for 1 week. No forums, no EQ, just get out of it.

I find that if i spend 3 days off of something, its harder for me to get back into it, 6 days and all the sudden I'm into something new.

But thats me... But its worth a shot!

Also make sure that week is full of interesting stuff that both of you are interested in showing him what life hes missing out on, help plan fun activities every night. He's not going to be good at it, because the outside world is a little difficult to navigate while your hearing and vision and voice are being used for the first time in public in a while.

Do not ask him to watch the Bachorlette with him during any of those days.. Maybe a movie that he is interested in with a guest or two.. but dont try to replace time wasted with more wasted time.

Also, do not police this shit, just ask him to try this out for a week. That you want him to just get off it for a week and see how he feels, you know its important to him, but you wana try a week without it and see how he feels.

The big thing is, just get him off for 3 days to a week and he will see how blue the sky is, and how fun the world can be and forget about eq.

Then ... ask him to try more once the week is up.

If you ask him to do shit for you and he says no, then get a new S/O cus thats a deal breaker if they're a bad ass cool person or a super nerd agoraphobic video game freek :)

[Varren]

Found this whole in depth research project on eq addiction and more. Its actually pretty interesting:

http://www.nickyee.com/eqt/addiction.html

[Frysk]

In all honesty this is my advice - ask him to take a week off. Ask him to just completely get out of the game for 1 week. No forums, no EQ, just get out of it.

I find that if i spend 3 days off of something, its harder for me to get back into it, 6 days and all the sudden I'm into something new.

This.

Try and get him to agree to this (and honestly follow through with it). He'll think about EQ constantly for the first 24/48 hours ... but without even realising it, the urge just fades away. Very quickly. Try and combine it with quality time in the real world, but don't make it so obvious that it all becomes about escaping EQ. It should just be good, normal life.

[Lord Traxor]

pics plz

[chayes]

I have not played for several weeks and I cannot wait to dive back in next week and OD on some eq.
It's not just quit it for a week and life is better. The root needs to be fixed. If he plays for entertainment, replacement works. If he plays for self-worth, entertainment won't fix anything. If he plays for achievment, self-worth won't fix it...
You (or a licensed counselor) need to to discover the why, not just the what. Open ended questions help you get there. Watch him play...
"How do you feel when you are grinding levels?" "What are you working towards, what do you think it'll be like when you get there?" "Does your guild feel like a family?" "What do you like about..."

Find the root, and the weed dies. Pull the weed and leave the root, and it grows right back (with resentment)

[Sadre Spinegnawer]

eqwidows

the infamous and original eq addiction support group. That Woolsey lady took it over after the founder of eqwids left. I think eqwidopws just got absorbed into her thing. And she is kind of off-balance. Her son committed suicide after a raid fail or something. It spun her way of course, and who can blame her? It was a bad raid fail. I'd be butthurt too if my kid messed up a raid like that.

yeah yeah yeah, suicide is no joke, I know. Believe me,I know.

[webrunner5]

Just show him this thread... if he doesn't get the message with his gf posting here then hes beyond hope and you should leave him.

To the OP. Most people that play on here play way too many hours are because they are bored with Real Life and don't have many or any friends or a Wife, GF.

But if he has you, as a GF I am not sure that is a good thing for his "cure". Sounds like to me he rates EQ better than you and I would say he is beyond help at least with you in the short or long term.

I would do like sulpher01 says. Show him this thread and if he doesn't change at least some, or a lot just get the hell out of Dodge. There are Guild leaders, they just about have to, and Pixel Hunters in this game that just spend 18 hours a day on here. I am guilty of it myself. But I am retired and single so not much harm to others lol. Good luck. I think you will need it.

[dmorawski]

I don't know what kind of resources exist, but MMORPG addiction is no joke. There's been some research on it that argues that it is the random reward mechanisms (like gambling) that make these games so addictive. So, if you believe that gambling addiction is serious, MMORPG addiction is quite serious.

If your boyfriend can't hear you when you're telling him that you're worried about him and if he can't take time away from the game (or quit completely), then you'll know how serious this problem is.

I obviously don't know the nature of your relationship, but I'm inclined to agree with who ever said 'if he doesn't shape up, you should leave him.' This is his problem, and you can't fix him.

Good luck <3

[Aviann]

I applaud p99s maturity in this thread for 3 pages.

But it's not right, it's not the p99 way.

Please, tell us his character name so we can message him positivity.

Miss you <3

[Yumyums Inmahtumtums]

pics plz

[Sadre Spinegnawer]

I applaud p99s maturity in this thread for 3 pages.

But it's not right, it's not the p99 way.

Please, tell us his character name so we can message him positivity.

True! Very true!

If this were classic, the thread would have filled up with people accusing the OP of being a miserable hag and no wonder the dude plays eq blah blah blah. Those threads NEVER were any fun to read. Real people getting hurt in real life is not a joke, imho.

So, good for you guys. See, OP, we may some of us be addicts, but we are *wizened and mature* addicts.

lol, I'm sure I just jinxed the thread now.

[iruinedyourday]

True! Very true!

If this were classic, the thread would have filled up with people accusing the OP of being a miserable hag and no wonder the dude plays eq blah blah blah. Those threads NEVER were any fun to read. Real people getting hurt in real life is not a joke, imho.

So, good for you guys. See, OP, we may some of us be addicts, but we are *wizened and mature* addicts.

lol, I'm sure I just jinxed the thread now.

15 years later, and some of us are willing to start maybe sort of admitting, we have a problem :D

kind of

a tiny one

itty bitty

[chayes]

You say we have a problem, I see We're Pro's Blam!

Hi my name is Chris and I play games. I like to escape reality for a bit and kill some monsters to make the world safer. If I quit EQ I pickup another game within hours. Not an addiction though, life just sucks sometimes. Alternate worlds are rules based and you can win. Real life has no rules and you can lose.

... Maybe not wizened, but good at justification after all this time?

[Bazia]

you should stop trying to change the dude and if you have a problem with him playing videogames all day you should prob break up with him

[Pringles]

http://ministry127.com/sites/default/files/Hook,%20Line,%20and%20Sinker%20(title).jpg

[Destron]

you should stop trying to change the dude and if you have a problem with him playing videogames all day you should prob break up with him

[Tann]

Addicted to this EQ business too!

What makes it worse is I can only squeeze in maybe 1.5 hours 3-4 days a week to play, which after getting a few characters into the 20's equals almost no visible progress after each session. Oh and every other Sunday I get a whopping 5-6 hours, god that stretch of time is beautiful, the sweet nectar flowing from FV's mams into my veins...

In retrospect I used to play 12+ hours a day (all week) on live back in 2000-2004ish. Sad times, but I wouldn't trade my wife/house/job/baby (on the way) for any of that back.

[baalzy]

Addicted to this EQ business too!

What makes it worse is I can only squeeze in maybe 1.5 hours 3-4 days a week to play, which after getting a few characters into the 20's equals almost no visible progress after each session. Oh and every other Sunday I get a whopping 5-6 hours, god that stretch of time is beautiful, the sweet nectar flowing from FV's mams into my veins...

In retrospect I used to play 12+ hours a day (all week) on live back in 2000-2004ish. Sad times, but I wouldn't trade my wife/house/job/baby (on the way) for any of that back.

Try red. 1.5 hours in your 20s is easily 4 levels.

[Sadre Spinegnawer]

Try red. 1.5 hours in your 20s is easily 4 levels.

and... thread!

[Tann]

Try red. 1.5 hours in your 20s is easily 4 levels.

Sorry I play EQ for nostalgia and dat.classic experience, R99 has neither. If I wanted a big exp bonus along with unclassic features I'd just play Live :)

[Daldaen]

Sorry I play EQ for nostalgia and dat.classic experience, R99 has neither. If I wanted a big exp bonus along with unclassic features I'd just play Live :)

This.