The Gayest NPC of Norrath [Poll]

[captnamazing]

We know that there's a lot of gayness in Norrath, as evidenced by no female orcs, goblins, kobolds, or giants. But life has a way of happening. Now is your chance to vote for NORRATH'S GAYEST NPC!!!

Please check out our contestants below! :D

http://i.imgur.com/NFKdC53.png
Ping Fuzzlecutter
Ostracized & lonely, Ping spends his day making fabulous wigs and selling a bubbly, sweet drink.

http://i.imgur.com/GZSzhBi.png
Trumpy Irontoe
Embittered by the treatment he received at the hands of the Irontoes after showing a bit too much interest in the overly friendly Kilam Orestring, he ran all the way to Qeynos, where he fell in with the wrong crowd and became a real bad lot. Unable to forgive both the Irontoes for their cruelty and himself for loving men, he began to turn that same cruelty back on everyone around him. His activities since moving to Qeynos have earned him the everlasting enmity of not only the Irontoes but the Bloodforges as well.

His favorite activity, that of kicking Faren's tacklebox into the bay, is in part a denial of the mild crush he has on the sweet young man always fishing at the end of the pier.

http://i.imgur.com/gktzxFo.png
King Xorbb
Loves to live in a deep "crack" filled with mud... coincidence?

http://i.imgur.com/pawkv5a.png
Jak Sindin
The bum of Freeport (no pun intended). Is known to suck dick for a few plat. Coined the phrase "ten plat is ten plat."

http://i.imgur.com/hmVxu3F.png
Warlord Skarlorn
The quintessential Fire Giant, Skarlorn spends his free time posting up in his little bedroom with two other fire giants.

http://i.imgur.com/q1mb5i0.png
Guard Settine
If being a High Elf and a Paladin wasn't already gay, Settine has an interesting correspondence with a male slave of Crushbone... when freed, the slave sends a note saying "Dear Settine. Your inability or reluctance to leave your post in order to even attempt a rescue has shown me the quality of your heart. Hopefully our eyes will never meet again."

However, in answer, Settine mutters, 'I.. but.. she.. You can take this. I guess I don't need it any more,' and gives you a ring.

Is he trying to gay marry the male prisoner, or is it a note from Settine's female lover, who then gave the note to her new slave bf?

http://i.imgur.com/FuiVjUU.png
Phloatin Highbrow
"hey sailor," this Erudite says to you, hands flopping around.
"I'm not a sailor," you say.
"hey sailor," Phloatin says, this time a little more aggressively.

[indiscriminate_hater]

phloatin highbrow - amazing edit there

[iruinedyourday]

If being a High Elf and a Paladin wasn't already gay

lol

[Itap]

I vote for the bum, with enough plat, he will be whatever you want him to be

[indiscriminate_hater]

Filbus going to set the records for most 5-star threads

[Pint]

Truly hard call between the firegiant and the high elf but gotta go with the high elf, obvious race of homosexuals

[JboxCSU]

Jak isn't gay, he's just tryin to survive!

[captnamazing]

Phloatin Highbrow establishes the early lead!!! This race will run until 5 PM PST Saturday... CAST YOUR VOTES!

[Era'viss]

That jet fuel though...

[captnamazing]

Warlord Skarlorn sneaking ahead in the primaries... but is Jet Fuel's Unwillingness to Melt Steel Beams gay? 5 people say yes!

After the polls close tomorrow, we'll do a final vote unless there's a clear lead.

[Samoht]

Settine has an interesting correspondence with a male slave of Crushbone... when freed, the slave sends a note saying "Dear Settine. Your inability or reluctance to leave your post in order to even attempt a rescue has shown me the quality of your heart. Hopefully our eyes will never meet again."

However, in answer, Settine mutters, 'I.. but.. she.. You can take this. I guess I don't need it any more,' and gives you a ring.

Is he trying to gay marry the male prisoner, or is it a note from Settine's female lover, who then gave the note to her new slave bf?

No, the guy is a nigerian prince trying to convince Settine to cash a check for him. It's a total scam. Since you saved him, instead, the scam is off.

[Samoht]

That said, i'm having a hard time picking between skarlorn and 10p is 10p

[Aeaolena]

Gotta go with the high elf. I mean, have you SEEN Felwithe? The place is impeccably designed and stylish. I would dare say it's fabulous.

[JboxCSU]

Gotta go with the high elf. I mean, have you SEEN Felwithe? The place is impeccably designed and stylish. I would dare say it's fabulous.

Combine that with his chic, fashion forward armor and you have one super duper high elf. This should be no contest people!

[Blackmartin]

Definately Warlord Skorn, he looks like he ate 2 of the village people

[Voland]

The "Hey sailor" NPC made me LOL in RL.

[Secrets]

Honorary mention: Bait Masterson.

http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/square_small/0/1992/1826897-baitmasterson.png


Bait Masterson says 'You know.. I took up fishing because it was a nice, quiet activity. Most of all, I took it up to avoid conversing with strangers. Get the picture?!!'

You say, 'Do you wish the Blessing of Prexus?'

Bait Masterson says 'Prexus!!? Aye!! I once followed the ways of the Ocean Lord. I remember those days. So clear and peaceful were they. I shall make a deal with you, my friend. I shall give up fishing if you give me your guild tunic. With such a tunic I shall once again be compelled to follow the peaceful ways of the Ocean Lord.'

Give him your Old Blue Tunic*, obtained by handing your starting "A tattered note" to Weligon Steelherder in Erudin at -1040, -395.

Bait Masterson says 'Nice material!! I feel the ways of Prexus enlightening my soul. Unngh!! Enough of this fishing. Here take my broken fishing pole an toss it to the sea. All hail Prexus!!'

You gain experience!!

[Swish]

Honorary mention: Bait Masterson.

http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/square_small/0/1992/1826897-baitmasterson.png

would vote this guy

[indiscriminate_hater]

Master baiter, obsessed with fashion, trying to get your clothes off, and dat mustache... We may have a winner

[TKoji]

The time you spent researching these NPC's and their gayness, I commend you sir. Thanks for the morning laugh :)

[Thiefboy777]

So giving handys for 10 plat in the Freeport slums makes you gay now? 10 plat is 10 plat.

[Itap]

So giving handys for 10 plat in the Freeport slums makes you gay now? 10 plat is 10 plat.

call it what you want, but id say 1 man putting his dick in another mans mouth is pretty gay to me

[fiveeauxfour]

If being a High Elf wasn't already gay...

FTFY

[Safon]

Amazing thread, ty to op

[Gilder]

"Known to suck dick for a few plat... Coined the phrase 10 plat is 10 plat"

http://i.imgur.com/9KsWr50.gif

[Ravager]

Where is Yendar Starpyre on this list? The guy goes out in public in a shiny metallic dress, performs magic and runs away from leather clad women.

[86753o9]

The cybertranny merchant in Nro. Looks like a chick but when you strike her she becomes baritone.

[Gilder]

I may have used the phrase "10 plat is 10 plat" this weekend giving a port...

http://i.imgur.com/SzoeVyw.gif

[Safon]

How is Warlord Skarlorn winning

Trumpy Irontoe is clearly more gay

[Pheer]

Queer evil eye for the straight guy

[Kekephee]

Classic thread necro'd, the world rejoices

[Lune]

Definitely Warlord Skarlon, I imagine him somewhat like this:

http://i.imgur.com/cy16Rwe.jpg

[iruinedyourday]

he is fa-laaaming.

https://i.warosu.org/data/tg/img/0314/04/1397278867891.png

[maerilith]

NO FUCKING GODAMN MAYOR GUBIN option?

WHO THE FUCK R U OP :(

[Big_Japan]

jet li broke his fist on steel memes

[Big_Japan]

he is fa-laaaming.

https://i.warosu.org/data/tg/img/0314/04/1397278867891.png

thats literally the character + color scheme i use in sm4sh :o:o:o:o:o

[ghost182]

http://wiki.project1999.com/images/Npc_sanfyrd_featherhead.png

How about this guy from the Raincaller quest who wants the fuzzlecutter formula 5000 for rogaine and gorilla and mermaid hair for a wig? He is feeling self conscious about his balding and has no friends. You have to agree to be his friend to get the fairie wing he stole to complete your raincaller quest.

[captnamazing]

http://wiki.project1999.com/images/Npc_sanfyrd_featherhead.png

How about this guy from the Raincaller quest who wants the fuzzlecutter formula 5000 for rogaine and gorilla and mermaid hair for a wig? He is feeling self conscious about his balding and has no friends. You have to agree to be his friend to get the fairie wing he stole to complete your raincaller quest.

pretty sure sanfyrd featherhead operates a junk yard for mechanical scraps.

[Greengrocer 2.0]

I love this

[azeth]

Send this retardation to RNF asap.


Shittiest thread of the year award.

[Swish]

I vote for the bum, with enough plat, he will be whatever you want him to be

+1 for this, the guy in EFP looks like he'd do anything for a gold piece.

[perditionparty]

In context, Fuzzle sounds like slang for fart. So I've always imagined his name really is Ping Butthole.

[perditionparty]

pretty sure sanfyrd featherhead operates a junk yard for mechanical scraps.


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_jizTty9qYM/Vb1BubQkLEI/AAAAAAAAC54/TM9-legp2pk/s1600/redd%2Bfox.gif

*edit* please someone shop this gif to give him a gnome head***

[bktroost]

I voted for Ping. The man tried to get me into a wig the other day as I was wandering about slaying bats. He kept telling me I had pretty cheekbones and said he'd do some nasty things to me for free if I considered buying a Wild One Wig (http://wiki.project1999.com/Wild_One_Wig). He also had a pair of cheetah pumps for me to try on with a matching handbag.

Great salesman though.

[Evia]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_jizTty9qYM/Vb1BubQkLEI/AAAAAAAAC54/TM9-legp2pk/s1600/redd%2Bfox.gif

*edit* please someone shop this gif to give him a gnome head***

Seriously. I'm waiting for someone to put the gnome head on this so I can lol

[fandAONgo]

i think phloatin highbrow is the gayest

or maybe hes just my favorite?