[SOILERS] Star Wars: The Force Unleashed Thread

[James_Joyce]

I know there's a market for a thread on this matter, and it had best be administered by the Department of Trolling Until You Believe Your Own Trolls.

The black stormtrooper thing indeed makes zero fucking sense and was jammed in hamfistedly. They have a perfectly good clone army, but justify that he's not a clone with no more background than that he was taken from a random family and "he's been programmed since birth!!" like clone troopers weren't already exactly that. I think the implication is that the Empire commander believes a "diverse" fighting force is theoretically a superior fighting force.

That the movie is judaic SJWism incarnate is no joke; the primary plot line is an interracial romance with a stronk womyn who is so powerful for no reason that it makes literally zero sense. They really beat you over the head with it. Actually now that I think of it, le black stormtrooper's saber fight with the Sith lord made zero fucking sense too. Why didn't he just force choke the dude out?

They followed the JJ Abrams action movie formula well though; there's no denying the movie was amusing and maintained my attention for the most part. I liked the scene where the camera tracked action on the ground as well as the pilot raping 20 tie fighters. I'd recommend it for popcorn viewing. Just know that it's Star Wars like JJ's Star Trek is Star Trek.

Correct me if I'm wrong about any of my plot point interpretation, I almost got a dui on the way to the theater.

By the way, that thing about NO SPOILERS was a ruse. Ha ha! Post anything you want related to this movie ITT.

I am particularly interested in the fact that this film was highly superficial and infested with political messaging to a degree that is downright disturbing. Burning crosses?

Okay, I command you to start having a healthy discussion in this thread, starting...now!

[Filthy_Pagan]

SPOILER ALERT

The entire movie is an SJW subliminal message paradise.

The plot is an interracial couple running from the big bad white man who has a sword that looks like a burning cross.

What the fuck has happened to this country.

The next star wars is going to end up being like that shitty all black wizard of oz. Because equality means no white people in a story made up entirely of white characters.

They're literally shitting on canon to seem PC.

[maskedmelon]

I've yet to suffer this film, but am confident Disney will one-up Demented old man Lucas' perversion of the source material.

I am happy to see a female fighter type, but am disappointed with how she presents in the trailers. It seems to me that she is destined to fall to the dark side and ultimately be slain for the greater good by her love the non-clone reformed storm trooper.

We've had the parent-child tragedy and the master-pupil tragedy. Apparently it is time for the tragedy of lovers. *sigh*

[Big_Japan]

https://i.imgur.com/OHWY8ha.png

[nothsa]

The Movies plot was a lot like New Hope, it presented the players well. I like a diverse human race cast, the world seems odd with 150 white guys and 1 black guy, makes more sense that there be Asian types and blacks with equalish amounts.

It was an Okay movie, it sets the stage for a good story in 8.
After all New Hope didn't really develop the characters much, and lets not forget Luke was an almost untrained pilot and was given an x wing and then took down the Deathstar ?! Using the force that he had little to no training with.

So Rey picking up a lightsabre and using it , after a lifetime of using martial weapons seems plausible.

[Big_Japan]

Yeah, but the height of Luke's power in A New Hope is sinking a single destiny shot bomb into the death star, not going into bullet-time with a lightsaber and force-choking Darth Vader to death for 15 minutes.

One is cathartic, the other is cheesy and comes off to me like it's being justified in the studio "writer's meetings" (or whatever it is you want to call the unholy union of corporate bosses, psychologists, and deep cover Mossad propagandists with writers that results in such uniformly SJWified, Jewish plots in every Disney property) with "movies need more stronk woman, we have already programmed audience to believe movies need more stronk woman, so this idiotic deus es machina copout is 100% guaranteed to be beyond audience reproach. 95% rottentomatoes and healthy, free, nonpatriarchal, miscegenous society (for USA and Euro only) here we come!".

[quido]

Luke is a wiener and it totally ruins my immersion for him to be as powerful as he supposedly is. He only beat Anakin because Anakin didn't want to kill his own son. Anakin was actually conceived by the force - Luke is just some half breed little bitch.

[Filthy_Pagan]

Luke is a wiener and it totally ruins my immersion for him to be as powerful as he supposedly is. He only beat Anakin because Anakin didn't want to kill his own son. Anakin was actually conceived by the force - Luke is just some half breed little bitch.

I agree. You don't go from being the one person in the universe to become the current sith apprentice to losing to some whiny bitch.

[AzzarTheGod]

I agree. You don't go from being the one person in the universe to become the current sith apprentice to losing to some whiny bitch.

Goes a long way towards justifying Rey's powers when you put it that way. Movie has a history of the under-powered doing ridiculous things.

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

Is Rey Luke's daughter or Kylo's twin?

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

Is Rey Luke's daughter or Kylo's twin?

both?
https://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhnxkqsBWX1qz4u9io1_500.gif

[Safon]

To everyone complaining Kylo got beat too easily

1. He was gut shot by a bowcaster shortly before the fight occurred

2. He is only partially trained, as indicated by Snoke's order to bring him at the end of the movie to complete his training

3. He takes a further hit to the shoulder before cutting down Finn, and is further injured when he faces Rey. Unsure why he didn't use the force on Finn, maybe just wanted to put the guy in his place the old fashioned way, maybe just a dumb plot device.

4. Rey is almost certainly Luke's daughter, and thus belongs to the immediate family of force sensitive prodigies in the universe. Kylo does as well, but Rey is Luke's direct offspring, Kylo is Leia's, and Rey is likely some kind of prodigy like her father and his father before him, unlike Kylo. Rey may also have received some kind of training in the past, she clearly has some kind of mental block in place.

5. As mentioned, Finn and Rey have at least some level of combat training.

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

2. He is only partially trained, as indicated by Snoke's order to bring him at the end of the movie to complete his training.

Only partially trained...
Put in charge of your new empire's most valuable asset.

Pick one please!

Why it's Star Wars cursed with such bad plot?

[Safon]

Only partially trained...
Put in charge of your new empire's most valuable asset.

Pick one please!

Why it's Star Wars cursed with such bad plot?

I believe General Hux is in charge, he and Kylo have a similar sort of setup to Vader and that imperial admiral before Vader winds up answering only to the emperor.

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

Tarkin was clearly above Vader. Hux is equal to Kylo.

[Filthy_Pagan]

Unsure why he didn't use the force on Finn, maybe just wanted to put the guy in his place the old fashioned way, maybe just a dumb plot device.


Because there would have been widespread riots if the black guy died because that would be racist unless kylo was black also.

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

Because there would have been widespread riots if the black guy died because that would be racist unless kylo was black also, in which case it, like all black on black violence, would be completely ignored.

Fixt

[Filthy_Pagan]

Fixt

Thanks m8

[iruinedyourday]

Is Rey Luke's daughter or Kylo's twin?

in all the old pulp books and comics han & lea had jedi twins, so who knows where t hey will take it, you know they will wan to be steps ahead of us nerds, and the people working on that shit are the same people as us nerds, so we shall see?

[iruinedyourday]

oh hey just glancing at this thread, but look at how sad you guys are that the only thing you all have in common is making bad race jokes lol

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

bad race

Pretty sure the definition of racism is calling one race inferior.

[Big_Japan]

oh hey just glancing at this thread, but look at how sad you guys are that the only thing you all have in common is bad race lol

i can't say silverback but this guy can put this cryptoracist shit in his posts?

[AzzarTheGod]

Tarkin was clearly above Vader. Hux is equal to Kylo.

This. Tarkin was "Lord Commander" of the entire Imperial Fleet.

Tarkin demonstrated he had unilateral authority to do whatever he pleased and destroy whatever he pleased. His word destroyed planets unilaterally, not Vader's, not Palpatine's.

LOL @ anyone thinking Tarkin was subserviant to anyone but the Emperor himself on paper. And knowing how military's work, the Emperor was probably under the heel of Tarkin indirectly as well and at his mercy, but just not in plain terms and entirely unspoken. If Tarkin says the Emperor dies, he dies.

Vader was the Emperor's thug. Like a Vatican assassin, holding no military title or rank, completely invisible and unnecessary to the day to day operational campaign of the Empire. He is someone the Pope (Emperor) would call on to do "gods work" and restore order.

Chasing Leia was an errand boys task, for an errand boy thug (Vader). Pointing out the fact that job would be beneath asking of Tarkin would be a very gross understatement.

[Voland]

2. He is only partially trained, as indicated by Snoke's order to bring him at the end of the movie to complete his training


He sure didn't look partially trained in the beginning, when he was stopping blaster shots and such.
Maybe he is stronger when he is wearing his helmet? :)

[Safon]

He sure didn't look partially trained in the beginning, when he was stopping blaster shots and such.
Maybe he is stronger when he is wearing his helmet? :)

In that scene he has not been shot in the gut with a bowcaster, nor is he emotionally unstable from recently murdering his father.

[Safon]

If you guys are going to hate on the movie, at least find some legitimate points to take issue with.

[iruinedyourday]

If you guys are going to hate on the movie, at least find some legitimate points to take issue with.

Don't be upset these guys have nothing in their lives and the movies will be viewed billions of times. They are nonfactors in p99 in life and everywhere in between.

The movie was fine lol

[Lune]

In that scene he has not been shot in the gut with a bowcaster, nor is he emotionally unstable from recently murdering his father.

He also wasn't up against a flawless strong independent Mary Sue clad in plot armor.

Interestingly, it's Kylo Ren's flaws that make him the only compelling character in the movie. He's the only multidimensional character who has his inner conflicts and motivations explored at any more than the most superficial level.

[iruinedyourday]

To be fair, I don't even think Vader or maybe even yoda could have flipped around and froze a blaster shot in the air... But I'll just be glad that wasn't a jar jar that pulled the trigger.

[AzzarTheGod]

He also wasn't up against a flawless strong independent Mary Sue clad in plot armor.

Interestingly, it's Kylo Ren's flaws that make him the only compelling character in the movie. He's the only multidimensional character who has his inner conflicts and motivations explored at any more than the most superficial level.

[Fael]

So is the death planet equipped with a hyper drive or what?

Or Can it's projectile hit multiple planets in multiple star systems?

If not, is the new republic government confined to a single star system?

As a whole, the movie was much better than 1-3 from an acting, effects, direction point of view. But the plot was just as bad: The larger story lacked clarity. The immediate story was propelled by dumb luck and happenstance at every turn.

[iruinedyourday]

What plot in any star wars movie isn't bad and exactly the same as the plot to a new hope though?

Empire? Only one. Yikes.

Enjoy it.

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

I'm starting to realize that is less that Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie, but is the only objectively good Star Wars movie (A New Hope was ok).

[maskedmelon]

I'm starting to realize that is less that Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie, but is the only objectively good Star Wars movie (A New Hope was ok).

You know, thinking about it I kinda feel that RotJ wasn't that great of a movie on its own. There is nothing that really stands out in it to me. I feel like Luke rescues everyone from Jabba and then the second Death Star gets blown up. Not much in between. You may be right.

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

You know, thinking about it I kinda feel that RotJ wasn't that great of a movie on its own. There is nothing that really stands out in it to me. I feel like Luke rescues everyone from Jabba and then the second Death Star gets blown up. Not much in between. You may be right.

Don't forget they take up about half of the movie with the Jabba's palace crap. The second half has more scenes with Ewoks than it does with Rebels/Empire.

[iruinedyourday]

hey guys u notice that reys goggles are stormtrooper goggles? nice touch

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/fe/84/66/fe846614e7fda81d8575c5a2e68cd8f2.jpg

http://www.starwarshelmets.com/2012/efx_herotrooper1.jpg

So finally was able to verbally talk to someone about this movie considering you have to keep quiet about it or spoilers for p much everyone but, the result is im like wtf man this movie suckkkked! Here's why I think so:

The pacing - this movie was paced as if it was a story being told by the micro machine guy, before I even knew what the fuck was happening, we were already into the next scene, and getting ready to get into the one that follows it!

The scene with the 2 bounty hunter groups - Those bounty hunters looked like shit. They looked more like extras in a marvel movie than any starwars character I have ever dreamed of, i mean look at the fucking bounty hunter lineup in empire strikes back, bossk, 4lom, zukkus, bobafet.. now look at the lineup in the force awakens, some random chinese mafia vs some random tumblr maphia.. terrible.

Just look at how much more inspired these fucking guys are:

http://screencrush.com/442/files/2015/07/star-wars-bounty-hunters.jpg

The Sound - The sound was awful, i mean maybe it was the theater I was in, but what I heard was terrible tinny sounds, no awesome blaster shots that made me nostaligic, nothing.. I mean I'm glad they didn't try to re-invent the sounds the way lucas did in the phantom menace, by making over the top pod racer sounds, and that squirty lazer pistol sound etc.. but they could have done SMOETHING to honor the amazing sound that made the origional triology unlike any other movies.

The Score - On the subject of sound, what the fuck was up with no new memorable score? was the movie just paced so horribly we didnt haev time for a single fucking muscal cue? or did they just totally fucking forget that nearly EVERY iconic song from the origional trilogy 30 years ago is hummed in nearly EVERY fucking social situation everyone is in today?

How can you forget to write a musical score worthy of the origional trilogy? jesus christ what the fuck.

The storm trooper helmets - This one may be only for me, but someone out there will agree I am sure. But the helmets for the stormtroopers made the fucking dudes look like they were a giant army of adult sized babies.. they wre just TOO BIG (and im not even talking about those horrible fucking snow troper helmets that are SHOULDER width big) Im talking regular stormtroopers, on the deathstare before fin leaves i wasl ike what the fuck, is it a bunch of these guys inside those suits?:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e8/a4/39/e8a43900516dc5758d0d20e0dae85d06.jpg

Let me try to explane, here we will examine two storm trooper helmets. The origional you can see below has slightly squared off edges at the top, while the new ones are spherical. This results in about 1 centemeter of incrased width on both sides, that results in giant adult babies. Terrible.

http://www.starwarshelmets.com/2012/efx_herotrooper1.jpg

http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0346/5761/products/TFAStd02.png?v=1443192745

The Story - We've all posted a million things we have problems with when it comes to the story sure, but for me I would just like to say, 'congrats you wrote a story that was pretty much the same as every fan-fic or pencil and paper campaign any nerd has come up with a thousand times before you.'

Welp, yea.. I am happy that at the very least there is no jarjar shit in this movie, thrilled infact. Though I am definitly not going to walk around saying this was anywhere near as good as the origional trilogy. IT might have more in common with the hobbit than it does starwars.

Oh yea, there were more 'jokes & references' to the origional trilogy in this fucking serious movie, there there were in all 3 episodes of the Family Guy's Blue Harvest... so take it down a notch JJ

Tycho Out

[Big_Japan]

hey guys u notice that reys goggles are stormtrooper goggles? nice touch

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/fe/84/66/fe846614e7fda81d8575c5a2e68cd8f2.jpg

http://www.starwarshelmets.com/2012/efx_herotrooper1.jpg

So finally was able to verbally talk to someone about this movie considering you have to keep quiet about it or spoilers for p much everyone but, the result is im like wtf man this movie suckkkked! Here's why I think so:

The pacing - this movie was paced as if it was a story being told by the micro machine guy, before I even knew what the fuck was happening, we were already into the next scene, and getting ready to get into the one that follows it!

The scene with the 2 bounty hunter groups - Those bounty hunters looked like shit. They looked more like extras in a marvel movie than any starwars character I have ever dreamed of, i mean look at the fucking bounty hunter lineup in empire strikes back, bossk, 4lom, zukkus, bobafet.. now look at the lineup in the force awakens, some random chinese mafia vs some random tumblr maphia.. terrible.

Just look at how much more inspired these fucking guys are:

http://screencrush.com/442/files/2015/07/star-wars-bounty-hunters.jpg

The Sound - The sound was awful, i mean maybe it was the theater I was in, but what I heard was terrible tinny sounds, no awesome blaster shots that made me nostaligic, nothing.. I mean I'm glad they didn't try to re-invent the sounds the way lucas did in the phantom menace, by making over the top pod racer sounds, and that squirty lazer pistol sound etc.. but they could have done SMOETHING to honor the amazing sound that made the origional triology unlike any other movies.

The Score - On the subject of sound, what the fuck was up with no new memorable score? was the movie just paced so horribly we didnt haev time for a single fucking muscal cue? or did they just totally fucking forget that nearly EVERY iconic song from the origional trilogy 30 years ago is hummed in nearly EVERY fucking social situation everyone is in today?

How can you forget to write a musical score worthy of the origional trilogy? jesus christ what the fuck.

The storm trooper helmets - This one may be only for me, but someone out there will agree I am sure. But the helmets for the stormtroopers made the fucking dudes look like they were a giant army of adult sized babies.. they wre just TOO BIG (and im not even talking about those horrible fucking snow troper helmets that are SHOULDER width big) Im talking regular stormtroopers, on the deathstare before fin leaves i wasl ike what the fuck, is it a bunch of these guys inside those suits?:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e8/a4/39/e8a43900516dc5758d0d20e0dae85d06.jpg

Let me try to explane, here we will examine two storm trooper helmets. The origional you can see below has slightly squared off edges at the top, while the new ones are spherical. This results in about 1 centemeter of incrased width on both sides, that results in giant adult babies. Terrible.

http://www.starwarshelmets.com/2012/efx_herotrooper1.jpg

http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0346/5761/products/TFAStd02.png?v=1443192745

The Story - We've all posted a million things we have problems with when it comes to the story sure, but for me I would just like to say, 'congrats you wrote a story that was pretty much the same as every fan-fic or pencil and paper campaign any nerd has come up with a thousand times before you.'

Welp, yea.. I am happy that at the very least there is no jarjar shit in this movie, thrilled infact. Though I am definitly not going to walk around saying this was anywhere near as good as the origional trilogy. IT might have more in common with the hobbit than it does starwars.

Oh yea, there were more 'jokes & references' to the origional trilogy in this fucking serious movie, there there were in all 3 episodes of the Family Guy's Blue Harvest... so take it down a notch JJ

Tycho Out

http://i.imgur.com/nxckgLm.png

[Filthy_Pagan]

http://i.imgur.com/nxckgLm.png

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

I never thought I'd live to see the day where IRYD uses tumblr in a derogatory manner.

[iruinedyourday]

Never thought Id see the day where I cant post something without one but TWO rustled individuals trying to beg me for attetnion

[Big_Japan]

Never thought Id see the day where I cant post something without one but TWO rustled individuals trying to beg me for attetnion

to the forum gallows with you. deserters will be punished duly.

[Filthy_Pagan]

Cringing hard

He thinks he can rustle

[iruinedyourday]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/fcac91373c364bcdf7d5a6f33c807fa7/tumblr_ms8dbhd1ip1ql56ddo1_500.gif

[Filthy_Pagan]

Hey why'd you delete all those posts of yours in my thread where you were raging hard about killing muslims and shit?

[AzzarTheGod]

The scene with the 2 bounty hunter groups - Those bounty hunters looked like shit. They looked more like extras in a marvel movie than any starwars character I have ever dreamed of, i mean look at the fucking bounty hunter lineup in empire strikes back, bossk, 4lom, zukkus, bobafet.. now look at the lineup in the force awakens, some random chinese mafia vs some random tumblr maphia.. terrible.

Just look at how much more inspired these fucking guys are:

http://screencrush.com/442/files/2015/07/star-wars-bounty-hunters.jpg



IG-88 on the far left.

The book on these bounty hunters short stories was incredible. I still remember each story and bounty hunter. They were able to be brought to life just based on that small amount of screen time and presence.

All of their stories made Boba Fett look like shit too. IG-88 was the fucking man. Fuck a boba.

[Big_Japan]

anyone care 2 jog my memory on the bounty hunter scene in sw7? i dont remember any bounty hunters at all, was rather disappointed by that, but i stay fly in the sky gnomesayin

[iruinedyourday]

Trivia, which of those 5 characters had their names swapped on their Kenner toy package?

Hint one is living the other a droid.

[iruinedyourday]

anyone care 2 jog my memory on the bounty hunter scene in sw7? i dont remember any bounty hunters at all, was rather disappointed by that, but i stay fly in the sky gnomesayin

it was two groups of characters that looked like they were wearing costumes from one of the marvel movies, one had a guy that looked like this in it:

this is literally the best pic i can find after wanting to flip my table at looking at terrible google results

http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/star-wars-the-force-awakens-character-lego-tasu-leech-the-raid-redemption-mad-dog-yayan-ruhian-2__oPt.jpg

[iruinedyourday]

Here we go.. this:

http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/2921/2466/original.jpg

Vs this:

http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090308014330/starwars/images/thumb/6/63/BountyHunters.jpg/500px-BountyHunters.jpg

[Big_Japan]

o, those were the "bounty hunters"? Yeah they were literally the most forgettable characters in the movie, as I just proved. They were more like some random Han Solo frenemies from the mean streets of Bangkok who happened to have seen a bounty poster than the badass bounty hunters of days gone by. I guess it fits in with the whole "the new darth vader is an unscary homosexual with zero mystique, and the new imperial general is even more unscary and more overtly homosexual" aesthetic JJ was going for tho.

Speaking of which, when are we going to start turning one of the most blatant "black guy dies first" style movie tropes that's still around into a cultural meme? Homosexuals and men with lispy mannerisms are always the villain.

[iruinedyourday]

o, those were the "bounty hunters"? Yeah they were literally the most forgettable characters in the movie, as I just proved. They were more like some random Han Solo frenemies who happened to have seen a bounty poster.

maybe they wre pirates or smugglers or some shit, either way they are fucking horrible let alone even worse when you think about what they could have been.

I can guarantee you 100% they are spinoff characters too, gross.

[captnamazing]

I laughed out loud when he took off his mask and revealed himself to be the permavirgin cuck who is mad he didn't get daddys good looks. No wonder he couldn't take out two noobs in a lightsaber duel, chewie put a bowcaster shot straight in his mangina and it's the closest he's felt to physical intimacy since he sucked on leias saggy titbank. He was craving more at that point and he fucking got it from a traitor and a desert rat

[Big_Japan]

I laughed out loud when he took off his mask and revealed himself to be the permavirgin cuck who is mad he didn't get daddys good looks.

My husband thought the unmasking was a good moment. I submit to you that this is because he finds the nerd's boy band aesthetic attractive.

I find this offensive, as he is married to someone 1000x better looking.

[captnamazing]

It is a moment ripe with meaning. I still guffawed

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

My husband...

Saving.

[Zade]

I saw this yesterday. Abso-fucking-lutely terrible. What is wrong with all you people saying this movie was great? Not just in this forum, but in the entirely of the planet?

Was I shown some different version of episode 7? because the episode 7 I was shown was horrible and no where near worthy of the hype its getting...

so, spoiler alert...




a loveable droid is given a secret mission to deliver a flash drive containing important information to the rebellion. this droid is stranded on a DESERT PLANET and the first person it meets is the only Force sensitive person on the planet. This person takes the responsibility of delivering this droid to the rebellion, which in turn causes the rebellion to destroy a "bad guy" space station by exploiting some overlooked feature that can completely annihilate the base.

WHAT? HELLO? The fuck is wrong with you people. This is exactly what happened in a new hope. How many death stars do they need to blow up before someone can get an original idea? a THIRD death star with a detrimental flaw that can be exploited? don't you think that after the first two, the empire or whatever shitty spinoff these guys called themselves, would RETHINK the whole deathstar planet killing weapon?

oh man, and they cast a black guy as a main character. first interaction this black guy has with the other main cast members, they accuse him of stealing a white guy's coat and beat him up and tase him. Nah, no negative light on blacks there.

Kylo Ren? So supposedly, he is Luke's #1 apprentice and destroys all the other padawans/apprentices that Luke teaches. so, hes gotta be at least somewhat talented as a Jedi, even minimally better than other apprentices. HOW THE FUCK DOES FINN STAB HIM? Ludicrous... Take a storm trooper who has never been trained with martial weapons and put him up against a sith apprentice. Kylo Ren should have force thrown him into a tree, like he did with Rey, force pulled his light saber, and choked him. No way he could have taken a hit.

And REY... there has to be some story behind how the fuck she can perform advanced jedi knight feats like force pulling and mind tricks without having any training. I'm going to leave this one alone in the hopes that the rest of the movies explain that she was trained as a jedi and has amnesia or something.


Chewy, Han's life long friend, doesn't try to avenge him? He shoots Kylo Ren and then blows the shit up? Thats not how wookies roll. Sigh



there's so many little things too that I won't even touch on.

[heartbrand]

Knights of the Fallen Empire has a better story and it's a fucking video game

[captnamazing]

Get mad, stay salty, and pay box office prices for the next movie.

[Zade]

pay box office prices

KEK

[James_Joyce]

oh man, and they cast a black guy as a main character. first interaction this black guy has with the other main cast members, they accuse him of stealing a white guy's coat and beat him up and tase him. Nah, no negative light on blacks there. .

how is the muh oppression trope a "negative light on blacks". it's like you're peripherally aware of the blatant racism but your darpa thoughtcontrol chip won't allow you to process any thought that acknowledges the existence of racism toward whites.

[Whirled]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTw5pk6dcX0
They are still floating to the bank on all these star wars tears.

[Big_Japan]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTw5pk6dcX0
They are still floating to the bank on all these star wars tears.

after clicking link i am seriously considering making this one my first forum ignore

[Whirled]

after clicking link i am seriously considering making this one my first forum ignore
Sorry you feel that way but do as u must

[dafier]

The movie was a good classic. It TOTALLY reflected on the original for a reason, and I am glad they did. You can't just rewrite everything, then it would be a completely different movie all together.

Personally I loved it. Kylo is a newb, Rey is the person who "awakened", Snoke said it to Kylo and he knew this meant something bad for the dark side of the force. For about 30 years I guess Snoke + Knights of Ren and whatever other darkside users reigned without facing any obstacles (not including Luke which has hid from them practically the whole time) and now they have 1 major one, Rey (not her real name). Remember Empire? The Emperor felt a disturbance, it was Luke. This is totally classic Star Wars and it's totally right on.

It was a great opener to a 3 movie series. I am looking forward to EP8.

[Zade]

The movie was a good classic. It TOTALLY reflected on the original for a reason, and I am glad they did. You can't just rewrite everything, then it would be a completely different movie all together.

what does this even mean? they purposefully redid the same movie? this was supposed to be a remake? i don't get it. wasn't it supposed to be an entirely different movie?

what u smoking?

[Kayso]

TL;DR -- Not as good as Empire or New Hope. Better than the rest.

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

after clicking link i am seriously considering making this one my first forum ignore

Caddyshack is an amazing film. Whatchu talkin bout?

[Old_PVP]

Copied from ...http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/274463/episode-vii-sucks/

Several glaring problems that are impossible to overlook, in no particular order:


1. Orange Yoda has the saber Luke lost on Bespin, “but that’s a story for another time”? No. That seems pretty important. Tell us now.

2. We never find out how Poe Dameron survived the TIE fighter crash on Jakku and reconnected with the Resistance (all while completely abandoningFinn, his supposed new BFF). Dameron just shows back up flying an X-Wing, an odd thing for a dead guy to do.

3. Why and how was there a map to find Luke Skywalker? Shouldn’t it just be coordinates?

4. Why do Max von Sydow’s character (whoever he was) and R2-D2 share the two pieces of this map? Did Luke give it to them in case of emergency? [Ed. Note – Jordan: Yes, I assume it was some sort of contingency plan in case of extreme emergencies. More pressing for me is why does R2 power up at the end to provide some very literal deus ex machina?]

5. The Starkiller Base is used to destroy an entire planetary system, which we are led to believe is populated by the Galactic Senate. Or maybe it wasn’t? The aftermath of the First Order’s attack is not made clear. The First Order is also preparing to fire at the planet where the Resistance is based, yet nobody makes any attempt to evacuate? Leia just sits there, hoping the Resistance blows up the Starkiller Base in a battle that presumably takes place light years away.

6. The fact that those five planets were just wiped out by an opposing force doesn’t seem to matter to anyone once it’s done.

7. How were Finn and Rey able to use a light saber so expertly with no training? How could Rey fly the Falcon or use the Force? How were either of them able to take on Kylo Ren and not get killed within seconds? Clearly Rey is strong with the Force, yet we’ve always been led to believe someone has to receive training in order to wield it properly.

8. This also brings up the issue of it being unclear just how strong Kylo Ren is. When first introduced, he stops a laser bolt which was fired at his back from what essentially amounts to a sniper’s position. Ren then keeps the laser in mid-air — without even thinking about it — and while doing his mind-reading thing. We’ve never seen anybody do this before. Aren’t we to assume, then, he is very powerful and not to be fucked with?

9. If that’s the case, why is Ren then wounded by Chewie, whose presence was made as he screamed before taking the shot? Shouldn’t Ren have been able to stop that crossbow fire or at least block it with his saber?

10. The plot does not lead to its climax. The Starkiller Base is thrown in late and suddenly becomes the driving plot point, but prior to which the entire story revolved around the search for Luke. If you think about the rebels in A New Hope, their entire motive was destroying the Death Star. We don’t see all of it because we’re following Luke, but that’s their only goal. It all leads to the Battle of Yavin. The Force Awakens abruptly shifts from finding Luke being the most important thing to “Hang on, we gotta blow up this thing first. Shouldn’t take too long. No big deal.”

11. Han dies. Chewie cries. Leia makes a sad face. Then, five minutes pass and everybody moves on. Darth Vader got his own funeral scene! Han just falls off a bridge. More drama was felt when Han was frozen in Carbonite, no? Is J.J. Abrams video game-style pacing sloppy, or is it intentional so that the audience has little time to digest and scrutinize? (Chris Nolan is arguably guilty of the same with The Dark Knight Rises.)

12. “The Starkiller Base won’t detect you if you just haul ass directly into it at light speed! #yolo.” Remember the good old days when traveling at light speed required “precise calculations”?

13. What was the point of the Chrome trooper? She literally did NOTHING. If it was an effort to gender-balance, why not make the Grand Moff Tarkin Jr character female instead of casting Domhnall Gleeson?

14. What did the Starkiller being powered by the sun have to do with anything? How did that function as a plot point? And how was the First Order able to fire its weapon more than once if it drains the sun of its energy?

15. No Cliff Claven cameo.

16. It often felt as if Han or Leia didn’t give two fucks about their split-up or their son turning evil. Abrams’ spastic pacing may likely be the main culprit for why it was so difficult to feel sold on any characters’ motivations or despair, but you have to wonder if, in between takes, Harrison Ford was thumbing through a yacht catalog and thinking how he’s going to spend the big pay-day. [Ed. Note – Jordan: I don’t agree with this. I thought Ford’s performance was fine, but I do not understand for the life of me why he walked out onto that bridge to face Ren.]

17. Another example of the audience’s emotional disconnect from characters: Were we supposed to care for Finn when he made what was an instant heel-face turn?

18. Why was General Leia’s military outfit called “The Resistance” when the Republic had been rebuilt after Episode VI? The First Order was not the dominant governing force, but an up and coming terrorist organization. They were more likely to be referred to as a “Resistance” or as “Rebels.” So why wasn’t Leia’s “Resistance” just called “the Republic Army” or “Republic Special Forces”?

19. When exactly did Ren build the Starkiller Base? It must have been done by that Harry Potter-looking villain long before Ren turned to the Dark Side. Right? The lack of explanation is confusing and just kinda lazy, or, worse, presumptuous in that, because audiences felt so wounded from the prequels, that they’ll just ignore anything questionable as long as it was cool.

20. And, BTW, that Harry Potter CGI villain was atrocious.

21. In fact, we’re not even sure how convinced we were of any of the CGI or mo-cap characters. Like, those monsters in Han’s freighter and the creatures in Orange Yoda’s casino? Did not impress. And this isn’t a blanket statement about CGI, mind you. That alleged rapist bear in Alejandro González Iñárritu’s The Revenant was A+. [Ed. Note – Jordan: I liked the creatures in Orange Yoda’s place, with the exception of Orange Yoda.]

[Big_Japan]

Copied from ...http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/274463/episode-vii-sucks/

Several glaring problems that are impossible to overlook, in no particular order:


1. Orange Yoda has the saber Luke lost on Bespin, “but that’s a story for another time”? No. That seems pretty important. Tell us now.

2. We never find out how Poe Dameron survived the TIE fighter crash on Jakku and reconnected with the Resistance (all while completely abandoningFinn, his supposed new BFF). Dameron just shows back up flying an X-Wing, an odd thing for a dead guy to do.

3. Why and how was there a map to find Luke Skywalker? Shouldn’t it just be coordinates?

4. Why do Max von Sydow’s character (whoever he was) and R2-D2 share the two pieces of this map? Did Luke give it to them in case of emergency? [Ed. Note – Jordan: Yes, I assume it was some sort of contingency plan in case of extreme emergencies. More pressing for me is why does R2 power up at the end to provide some very literal deus ex machina?]

5. The Starkiller Base is used to destroy an entire planetary system, which we are led to believe is populated by the Galactic Senate. Or maybe it wasn’t? The aftermath of the First Order’s attack is not made clear. The First Order is also preparing to fire at the planet where the Resistance is based, yet nobody makes any attempt to evacuate? Leia just sits there, hoping the Resistance blows up the Starkiller Base in a battle that presumably takes place light years away.

6. The fact that those five planets were just wiped out by an opposing force doesn’t seem to matter to anyone once it’s done.

7. How were Finn and Rey able to use a light saber so expertly with no training? How could Rey fly the Falcon or use the Force? How were either of them able to take on Kylo Ren and not get killed within seconds? Clearly Rey is strong with the Force, yet we’ve always been led to believe someone has to receive training in order to wield it properly.

8. This also brings up the issue of it being unclear just how strong Kylo Ren is. When first introduced, he stops a laser bolt which was fired at his back from what essentially amounts to a sniper’s position. Ren then keeps the laser in mid-air — without even thinking about it — and while doing his mind-reading thing. We’ve never seen anybody do this before. Aren’t we to assume, then, he is very powerful and not to be fucked with?

9. If that’s the case, why is Ren then wounded by Chewie, whose presence was made as he screamed before taking the shot? Shouldn’t Ren have been able to stop that crossbow fire or at least block it with his saber?

10. The plot does not lead to its climax. The Starkiller Base is thrown in late and suddenly becomes the driving plot point, but prior to which the entire story revolved around the search for Luke. If you think about the rebels in A New Hope, their entire motive was destroying the Death Star. We don’t see all of it because we’re following Luke, but that’s their only goal. It all leads to the Battle of Yavin. The Force Awakens abruptly shifts from finding Luke being the most important thing to “Hang on, we gotta blow up this thing first. Shouldn’t take too long. No big deal.”

11. Han dies. Chewie cries. Leia makes a sad face. Then, five minutes pass and everybody moves on. Darth Vader got his own funeral scene! Han just falls off a bridge. More drama was felt when Han was frozen in Carbonite, no? Is J.J. Abrams video game-style pacing sloppy, or is it intentional so that the audience has little time to digest and scrutinize? (Chris Nolan is arguably guilty of the same with The Dark Knight Rises.)

12. “The Starkiller Base won’t detect you if you just haul ass directly into it at light speed! #yolo.” Remember the good old days when traveling at light speed required “precise calculations”?

13. What was the point of the Chrome trooper? She literally did NOTHING. If it was an effort to gender-balance, why not make the Grand Moff Tarkin Jr character female instead of casting Domhnall Gleeson?

14. What did the Starkiller being powered by the sun have to do with anything? How did that function as a plot point? And how was the First Order able to fire its weapon more than once if it drains the sun of its energy?

15. No Cliff Claven cameo.

16. It often felt as if Han or Leia didn’t give two fucks about their split-up or their son turning evil. Abrams’ spastic pacing may likely be the main culprit for why it was so difficult to feel sold on any characters’ motivations or despair, but you have to wonder if, in between takes, Harrison Ford was thumbing through a yacht catalog and thinking how he’s going to spend the big pay-day. [Ed. Note – Jordan: I don’t agree with this. I thought Ford’s performance was fine, but I do not understand for the life of me why he walked out onto that bridge to face Ren.]

17. Another example of the audience’s emotional disconnect from characters: Were we supposed to care for Finn when he made what was an instant heel-face turn?

18. Why was General Leia’s military outfit called “The Resistance” when the Republic had been rebuilt after Episode VI? The First Order was not the dominant governing force, but an up and coming terrorist organization. They were more likely to be referred to as a “Resistance” or as “Rebels.” So why wasn’t Leia’s “Resistance” just called “the Republic Army” or “Republic Special Forces”?

19. When exactly did Ren build the Starkiller Base? It must have been done by that Harry Potter-looking villain long before Ren turned to the Dark Side. Right? The lack of explanation is confusing and just kinda lazy, or, worse, presumptuous in that, because audiences felt so wounded from the prequels, that they’ll just ignore anything questionable as long as it was cool.

20. And, BTW, that Harry Potter CGI villain was atrocious.

21. In fact, we’re not even sure how convinced we were of any of the CGI or mo-cap characters. Like, those monsters in Han’s freighter and the creatures in Orange Yoda’s casino? Did not impress. And this isn’t a blanket statement about CGI, mind you. That alleged rapist bear in Alejandro González Iñárritu’s The Revenant was A+. [Ed. Note – Jordan: I liked the creatures in Orange Yoda’s place, with the exception of Orange Yoda.]

qft

[SamwiseRed]

havent read it all but 2. he says he flew out of the tie fighter when it crashed when they see him alive again

i think people are still high on w/e. the movie was good but it wasnt THAT good. at least i dont regret seeing it on the big screen which now adays is quite a feat.

[Millburn]

He also wasn't up against a flawless strong independent Mary Sue clad in plot armor.

Interestingly, it's Kylo Ren's flaws that make him the only compelling character in the movie. He's the only multidimensional character who has his inner conflicts and motivations explored at any more than the most superficial level.

This is pretty much the nail on the head for me after seeing it last night. There was definitely a ton of small exposition on the different characters but you're right it felt very superficial and didn't come off as genuine. (This is all my opinion, I'm sure other people felt differently)

[trite]

I felt like the Fin character was a little contrived... I mean he was totally opposed to killing uneducated dirt farming non-humanoid aliens on his first assignment after being put through stormtrooper conditioning but was perfectly fine killing his former comrades in arms in hand to hand combat? His hands are just too clean having never killed "innocents." Though he did kill one stormtrooper by literally and figuratively stabbing him in the back. But all in all the fact that he used to be a stormtrooper is irrelevant and uninteresting....it should be a dark past that follows him...

Him being a whimpy stormtrooper outcast could have worked as a basis for his character too. I think Fin chickening out when it came to standing between the innocent British girl and the dark jedi would have been more interesting for developing his character along these lines. I know we saw him chicken out a little bit earlier in the movie when he wanted to run to the outer rim but nothing was on the line then so he didn't have to redeem himself...We could have witnessed the defining moment in the characters life where he finally gets a friend and then fails to stand between her and danger. It could've been a powerful motivator and he could've picked up a lightsaber in the next movie and kicked some dark jedi ass to redeem himself....As it is though he has no empathy for his former comrades and acts heroic when push comes to shove etc yawn

[Secrets]

Why did they put Trent Reznor in this movie?

[James_Joyce]

HELMET LIKE DARTH
BREATH SMELL LIKE FARTS
I LOOK LIKE I BLOW GUYS
BUT DEEP DOWN IVE GOT HEART

[captnamazing]

HELMET LIKE DARTH
BREATH SMELL LIKE FARTS
I LOOK LIKE I BLOW GUYS
BUT DEEP DOWN IVE GOT HEART

My name is Han
I've aged sweeter than flan
but my son was surprised
he was low t beta cuck Darth

[iruinedyourday]

This is pretty much the nail on the head for me after seeing it last night. There was definitely a ton of small exposition on the different characters but you're right it felt very superficial and didn't come off as genuine. (This is all my opinion, I'm sure other people felt differently)

Just wait till bb8 kills all humans and reigns supreme in the forceless robotian utopia talk about deeep and dimensiononal

[AzzarTheGod]

Copied from ...http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/274463/episode-vii-sucks/

Several glaring problems that are impossible to overlook, in no particular order:


1. Orange Yoda has the saber Luke lost on Bespin, “but that’s a story for another time”? No. That seems pretty important. Tell us now.

2. We never find out how Poe Dameron survived the TIE fighter crash on Jakku and reconnected with the Resistance (all while completely abandoningFinn, his supposed new BFF). Dameron just shows back up flying an X-Wing, an odd thing for a dead guy to do.

3. Why and how was there a map to find Luke Skywalker? Shouldn’t it just be coordinates?

4. Why do Max von Sydow’s character (whoever he was) and R2-D2 share the two pieces of this map? Did Luke give it to them in case of emergency? [Ed. Note – Jordan: Yes, I assume it was some sort of contingency plan in case of extreme emergencies. More pressing for me is why does R2 power up at the end to provide some very literal deus ex machina?]

5. The Starkiller Base is used to destroy an entire planetary system, which we are led to believe is populated by the Galactic Senate. Or maybe it wasn’t? The aftermath of the First Order’s attack is not made clear. The First Order is also preparing to fire at the planet where the Resistance is based, yet nobody makes any attempt to evacuate? Leia just sits there, hoping the Resistance blows up the Starkiller Base in a battle that presumably takes place light years away.

6. The fact that those five planets were just wiped out by an opposing force doesn’t seem to matter to anyone once it’s done.

7. How were Finn and Rey able to use a light saber so expertly with no training? How could Rey fly the Falcon or use the Force? How were either of them able to take on Kylo Ren and not get killed within seconds? Clearly Rey is strong with the Force, yet we’ve always been led to believe someone has to receive training in order to wield it properly.

8. This also brings up the issue of it being unclear just how strong Kylo Ren is. When first introduced, he stops a laser bolt which was fired at his back from what essentially amounts to a sniper’s position. Ren then keeps the laser in mid-air — without even thinking about it — and while doing his mind-reading thing. We’ve never seen anybody do this before. Aren’t we to assume, then, he is very powerful and not to be fucked with?

9. If that’s the case, why is Ren then wounded by Chewie, whose presence was made as he screamed before taking the shot? Shouldn’t Ren have been able to stop that crossbow fire or at least block it with his saber?

10. The plot does not lead to its climax. The Starkiller Base is thrown in late and suddenly becomes the driving plot point, but prior to which the entire story revolved around the search for Luke. If you think about the rebels in A New Hope, their entire motive was destroying the Death Star. We don’t see all of it because we’re following Luke, but that’s their only goal. It all leads to the Battle of Yavin. The Force Awakens abruptly shifts from finding Luke being the most important thing to “Hang on, we gotta blow up this thing first. Shouldn’t take too long. No big deal.”

11. Han dies. Chewie cries. Leia makes a sad face. Then, five minutes pass and everybody moves on. Darth Vader got his own funeral scene! Han just falls off a bridge. More drama was felt when Han was frozen in Carbonite, no? Is J.J. Abrams video game-style pacing sloppy, or is it intentional so that the audience has little time to digest and scrutinize? (Chris Nolan is arguably guilty of the same with The Dark Knight Rises.)

12. “The Starkiller Base won’t detect you if you just haul ass directly into it at light speed! #yolo.” Remember the good old days when traveling at light speed required “precise calculations”?

13. What was the point of the Chrome trooper? She literally did NOTHING. If it was an effort to gender-balance, why not make the Grand Moff Tarkin Jr character female instead of casting Domhnall Gleeson?

14. What did the Starkiller being powered by the sun have to do with anything? How did that function as a plot point? And how was the First Order able to fire its weapon more than once if it drains the sun of its energy?

15. No Cliff Claven cameo.

16. It often felt as if Han or Leia didn’t give two fucks about their split-up or their son turning evil. Abrams’ spastic pacing may likely be the main culprit for why it was so difficult to feel sold on any characters’ motivations or despair, but you have to wonder if, in between takes, Harrison Ford was thumbing through a yacht catalog and thinking how he’s going to spend the big pay-day. [Ed. Note – Jordan: I don’t agree with this. I thought Ford’s performance was fine, but I do not understand for the life of me why he walked out onto that bridge to face Ren.]

17. Another example of the audience’s emotional disconnect from characters: Were we supposed to care for Finn when he made what was an instant heel-face turn?

18. Why was General Leia’s military outfit called “The Resistance” when the Republic had been rebuilt after Episode VI? The First Order was not the dominant governing force, but an up and coming terrorist organization. They were more likely to be referred to as a “Resistance” or as “Rebels.” So why wasn’t Leia’s “Resistance” just called “the Republic Army” or “Republic Special Forces”?

19. When exactly did Ren build the Starkiller Base? It must have been done by that Harry Potter-looking villain long before Ren turned to the Dark Side. Right? The lack of explanation is confusing and just kinda lazy, or, worse, presumptuous in that, because audiences felt so wounded from the prequels, that they’ll just ignore anything questionable as long as it was cool.

20. And, BTW, that Harry Potter CGI villain was atrocious.

21. In fact, we’re not even sure how convinced we were of any of the CGI or mo-cap characters. Like, those monsters in Han’s freighter and the creatures in Orange Yoda’s casino? Did not impress. And this isn’t a blanket statement about CGI, mind you. That alleged rapist bear in Alejandro González Iñárritu’s The Revenant was A+. [Ed. Note – Jordan: I liked the creatures in Orange Yoda’s place, with the exception of Orange Yoda.]

requoted for truth.

The cut of this film was poorly chosen. The editing was bad if they can't get a good final cut.

That video game pacing was ugly. JJ delivered at the beginning, but by the middle that video game shit had me feeling absolutely nothing. I was numb.

Numb and shocked. I will need a second watch to cast final judgement.

SNOKE BEING FULLY ANIMATED (not even CGI) was disgusting to me. Make him another Palpatine. The animated series shit for Snoke immediately broke all my immersion.

It was 10x worse than Jarjar.

[Filthy_Pagan]

Why did they put Trent Reznor in this movie?

To show that Disney supports the LGBT community and is an equal opportunity employer.

[Rogean]

I skipped the numbers that were complaints and not story/plot questions.


1. Orange Yoda has the saber Luke lost on Bespin, “but that’s a story for another time”? No. That seems pretty important. Tell us now.
This will probably come in a later movie. Can only fit so much in one. Not really a plot hole.

2. We never find out how Poe Dameron survived the TIE fighter crash on Jakku and reconnected with the Resistance (all while completely abandoningFinn, his supposed new BFF). Dameron just shows back up flying an X-Wing, an odd thing for a dead guy to do.
He was tossed just like Finn was. The rest could be explained but is irrelevant.

3. Why and how was there a map to find Luke Skywalker? Shouldn’t it just be coordinates?
They may be using the term 'map' too literally. I think it was more something force-related, like a path of temples used in the past, and it was known that Luke had been following that path. Either way, while explanation of this is left incomplete, it's a minor plot hole.

4. Why do Max von Sydow’s character (whoever he was) and R2-D2 share the two pieces of this map? Did Luke give it to them in case of emergency? [Ed. Note – Jordan: Yes, I assume it was some sort of contingency plan in case of extreme emergencies. More pressing for me is why does R2 power up at the end to provide some very literal deus ex machina?]
To continue the thoughts above, it was also stated that some of this information was obtained from the data banks of the Death Star. R2 has a delayed power up once BB8 tells R2 he has the remaining map piece (I believe this was explained by a producer).

5. The Starkiller Base is used to destroy an entire planetary system, which we are led to believe is populated by the Galactic Senate. Or maybe it wasn’t? The aftermath of the First Order’s attack is not made clear. The First Order is also preparing to fire at the planet where the Resistance is based, yet nobody makes any attempt to evacuate? Leia just sits there, hoping the Resistance blows up the Starkiller Base in a battle that presumably takes place light years away.
Copied storyline from ANH.

6. The fact that those five planets were just wiped out by an opposing force doesn’t seem to matter to anyone once it’s done.
I actually just made this today:
http://i.imgur.com/y2wir11.jpg

7. How were Finn and Rey able to use a light saber so expertly with no training? How could Rey fly the Falcon or use the Force? How were either of them able to take on Kylo Ren and not get killed within seconds? Clearly Rey is strong with the Force, yet we’ve always been led to believe someone has to receive training in order to wield it properly.
I wouldn't call their use "Expert", not anything near the expertise of prequel jedis' as they had far more training. However, Finn is a stormtrooper who was trained in Melee combat, as shown by the other stormtrooper who attacked him with an electro staff. It answers the question of "If Finn isn't force sensitive, why didn't the stormtrooper just shoot him?" and the answer is that the First Order stormtroopers are specifically trained to switch to melee combat when facing an oponent with a lightsaber, since a force user with a lightsaber could deflect a blaster back at them (They didn't know Finn wasn't a force user). And to answer for Rey, she also had some experience with melee combat, as shown, and she's force sensitive. Personally I think she is Luke's daughter, which would make her powerful and explain her rapid use of the powers once she realized she had them.

8. This also brings up the issue of it being unclear just how strong Kylo Ren is. When first introduced, he stops a laser bolt which was fired at his back from what essentially amounts to a sniper’s position. Ren then keeps the laser in mid-air — without even thinking about it — and while doing his mind-reading thing. We’ve never seen anybody do this before. Aren’t we to assume, then, he is very powerful and not to be fucked with?
He's fucking strong, that's for sure. This had to be established to show the task that will come for the characters in the future movies.

9. If that’s the case, why is Ren then wounded by Chewie, whose presence was made as he screamed before taking the shot? Shouldn’t Ren have been able to stop that crossbow fire or at least block it with his saber?
He just killed his father. I think anyone would be a little pre-occupied at that point.

12. “The Starkiller Base won’t detect you if you just haul ass directly into it at light speed! #yolo.” Remember the good old days when traveling at light speed required “precise calculations”?
30 Years ago? Yea, things can change.

13. What was the point of the Chrome trooper? She literally did NOTHING. If it was an effort to gender-balance, why not make the Grand Moff Tarkin Jr character female instead of casting Domhnall Gleeson?
They wanted to fit Gwendoline Christie into the movie.

14. What did the Starkiller being powered by the sun have to do with anything? How did that function as a plot point? And how was the First Order able to fire its weapon more than once if it drains the sun of its energy?
It's explained in the movie. The base has a hyperdrive. It drains a sun and then moves. It either moved after destroying the republic system, or it drained a sun and then moved to the second one before firing.

16. It often felt as if Han or Leia didn’t give two fucks about their split-up or their son turning evil. Abrams’ spastic pacing may likely be the main culprit for why it was so difficult to feel sold on any characters’ motivations or despair, but you have to wonder if, in between takes, Harrison Ford was thumbing through a yacht catalog and thinking how he’s going to spend the big pay-day. [Ed. Note – Jordan: I don’t agree with this. I thought Ford’s performance was fine, but I do not understand for the life of me why he walked out onto that bridge to face Ren.]
Why he walks out to the bridge to face Ren? Really? I'm not even going to bother answering that. These questions are getting dumber.

18. Why was General Leia’s military outfit called “The Resistance” when the Republic had been rebuilt after Episode VI? The First Order was not the dominant governing force, but an up and coming terrorist organization. They were more likely to be referred to as a “Resistance” or as “Rebels.” So why wasn’t Leia’s “Resistance” just called “the Republic Army” or “Republic Special Forces”?
The Resistance was separate from the Republic's military. As explained in the movie, Starkiller's attack destroyed a huge part of the Republic military.

19. When exactly did Ren build the Starkiller Base? It must have been done by that Harry Potter-looking villain long before Ren turned to the Dark Side. Right? The lack of explanation is confusing and just kinda lazy, or, worse, presumptuous in that, because audiences felt so wounded from the prequels, that they’ll just ignore anything questionable as long as it was cool.
Starkiller base was a planet converted into a base, and not a fully built base like the Deathstar. So even though it was bigger, it may not have taken longer to build than a Deathstar.

[iruinedyourday]

Some episode VIII previs, looking like its staying on target: https://youtu.be/A38NUMUVowA

[Filthy_Pagan]

Just wait till bb8 kills all humans and reigns supreme in the forceless robotian utopia talk about deeep and dimensiononal

Sounds just like the sort of libcuck fascist utopia you'd want. No more guns, white people, actual pronouns, or freedom.

[iruinedyourday]

http://theworstthingsforsale.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/why-talking-1.jpg

[Filthy_Pagan]

dunk maymay borough

[iruinedyourday]

http://mormonmatters.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/child-chef.jpg

[Filthy_Pagan]

IRYD stop posting your pedo softcore please. Not everyone is into the same shit you are.

[am0n]

IRYD stop posting your pedo softcore please. Not everyone is into the same shit you are.

But she thinks if she posts it enough, she'll convert you to her ways.

[iruinedyourday]

http://www.culinarist.org/wp-content/uploads/Portrait-Of-Male-Chef-Showing-Salad-Dish.jpg

[Fame]

movie sucked a dick and han solo dies

send me your money

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

The more time passes the more I disliked the movie.

[iruinedyourday]

The more time passes and I remember how much I don't care about star wars. But tbh I would rather not live in a marvel Star Wars movie universe so kinda wishing this whole thing never happened.

[Big_Japan]

when I think about it, I have never cared for Star Wars that much, even the original 3. Obviously there have been a lot of decent Star Wars branded products like the N64 game, x wing tie fighter, and some of my old action figures, but if I'm being honest with myself I give zero fucks about the lore, could not give less of a fuck about any of the characters since the writers behind them are complete hacks (I kinda like yoda), and I consider the movies all pretty boring.

Possibly the only reason I even saw Star Wars as a kid in the first place was the theatrical re-release barrage in the 90s before Phantom Menace. And even then I'd say it made much less of an impact on my childhood than silly popcorn monster movie Jurassic Park, which somehow still manages to feel more like cerebral hard sci fi than the Force universe.

The whole franchise is a case study on how to use the power of Jewry to funnel all of childrens' interest in hard science, space travel, and scifi into an idiotic and hamfistedly political soap opera about race mixing where everything sciency might as well be powered by magic.

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

It's just not a very interesting setting. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of interesting things that happen but none of it really matters, planets and star systems blow up and then become forgotten. There's always an evil empire in one form or another and when it's defeated by heros another one replaces it in a few decades. That's 40,000 years of star wars history in a nutshell.

[AzzarTheGod]

It's just not a very interesting setting. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of interesting things that happen but none of it really matters, planets and star systems blow up and then become forgotten. There's always an evil empire in one form or another and when it's defeated by heros another one replaces it in a few decades. That's 40,000 years of star wars history in a nutshell.

Huh? So what, really? You can't have interesting characters in this setting?

I thought Shadows of the Empire was a good story, as did many non-fans.

Along with the Thrawn trilogy, which fans and non-fans agree really should have been episode 7 8 and 9. Huge missed opportunity to create some classic Star Wars movies in 2016 ala the original trilogy that people would be talking about for the next 30 years. They would have been serious and dark ala The Dark Knight, not the SNL skit with the Eddie Murphy storm trooper. And extremely dramatic. You know, the fucking space opera that Star Wars was meant to be? Yeah pal.

Fans lost out bad on this one to Zion, I mean Disney.

I'll only be watching this for trainwreck factor to see if they can pull all 3 movies off with video-game cutscene pacing and vomit-inducing editing. And for Kylo Ren, the only moderately interesting character Star Wars has ever had since 1980.

[iruinedyourday]

The original trilogy is and always will be a cinematic masterpiece but all the other shit I could live without, except games. Glad there are the games.

http://youtu.be/U49VvGYZr98

[Jarlon]

This star wars was quite a bit better than all of the others, especially the old 3. The original 3 had pathetic fight scenes , wording and graphics. No one cares that it was ahead of its time except people with shitty lives who like to relive nostalgic moments.

[AzzarTheGod]

Thrawn trilogy versus The Force Unleashed. No brainer.

Oh that was a good pun. Unleashed had no brains.

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

Along with the Thrawn trilogy, which fans and non-fans agree really should have been episode 7 8 and 9.

http://i.imgur.com/FbIFCF7.jpg
Ok, you can sign me up for this, however I'd consider it an exception to the rule. Much like Veers, who I would also love to see.
http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/d/d4/Veers_unimpressed.png/revision/latest?cb=20140603115654

[iruinedyourday]

From general to admiral between empire and return. I'd watch a Patton style movie for him sure why not.

[AzzarTheGod]

Fuck yeah. That brings me to another meta talking-point on the whole Star Wars legacy.

Given Lucas penchant for epic since the prequels, had he retained control of the franchise, that would have been as close as we could get to a Thrawn Episode 7. I read all of his ideas for 7 were discarded and thrown out by JJ and the writers, then terminating Lucas consultant position on the production shortly thereafter.

Who would have ever thought a director would come along and make the Prequels infinitely more appreciable by accident?

The prequels look pretty damn good right now in light of this Dave Chappelle comedy sketch bullshit. This HAS to have even diehard prequel haters turning over and rewriting their opinion on Lucas.

If I'm Lucas, I am pretty damn pleased with myself right now. My stock has gone up and its poised to boom, with a very possible complete and total legacy vindication coming on the horizon after 8 gets delivered.

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

If I'm Lucas, I am pretty damn pleased with myself right now. My stock has gone up and its poised to boom, with a very possible complete and total legacy vindication coming on the horizon after 8 gets delivered.

Dunno, Looper was pretty good all around and was the exact kind of 'sci-fi minus the technobabble' (fantasy) type of movie that Star Wars is supposed to be. 9 to be directed by the Jurassic World director seems to have even greater potential IMO, even though all but Chris Pratt's character were absolute shit, the story/setting/presentation was absolutely beyond amazing.

[AzzarTheGod]

Point taken. Some of what I said is premature. I have to remind myself not to judge 7 as a standalone.

[iruinedyourday]

Dunno, Looper was pretty good all around and was the exact kind of 'sci-fi minus the technobabble' (fantasy) type of movie that Star Wars is supposed to be. 9 to be directed by the Jurassic World director seems to have even greater potential IMO, even though all but Chris Pratt's character were absolute shit, the story/setting/presentation was absolutely beyond amazing.

I watched looper last weekend and was thinking about this all night...

Kaga... are you suggesting that Looper is a better version of The Phantom Menace.. or at least what I mean, a better version of what the Phantom Menace was trying to do?

I was thinking damn if JGL was Obi Wan... and Emily Blunts kid was Anikin, then basically you have a WAY fucking better origin story for Darth Vader than that prequel shit was.

I mean aside from the time travel it makes a way fucking better script for Episode 1 then Epsiode 1 could ever hope.

anyway, if that's what you meant, then hats off to you pal you smarter than I thought.

[snoopdog]

The more time passes and I remember how much I don't care about star wars. But tbh I would rather not live in a marvel Star Wars movie universe so kinda wishing this whole thing never happened.

I really need to watch it again now. But I am getting the same feeling. Actually now I think abou it i liked the last two Star Trek movies better now. I really need to watch it again for a final decision.

My biggest gripe was Carrie Fisher ruined it for me. Even though she lost weight she looked horrible, acting was bad on her part too.

[iruinedyourday]

I really need to watch it again now. But I am getting the same feeling. Actually now I think abou it i liked the last two Star Trek movies better now. I really need to watch it again for a final decision.

My biggest gripe was Carrie Fisher ruined it for me. Even though she lost weight she looked horrible, acting was bad on her part too.

heh shoulda just had her die of natural causes in this one.

[snoopdog]

I remember the appearance she had in Big Bang Theory, I mean she looked way worse there than in the movie. If I remember she was diagnosed Bi-Polar and has plenty of issues. But damn, do not cast her unless it is going to make the movie better. It kind of ruined it for me, quite a bit.

[iruinedyourday]

I watched looper last weekend and was thinking about this all night...

Kaga... are you suggesting that Looper is a better version of The Phantom Menace.. or at least what I mean, a better version of what the Phantom Menace was trying to do?

I was thinking damn if JGL was Obi Wan... and Emily Blunts kid was Anikin, then basically you have a WAY fucking better origin story for Darth Vader than that prequel shit was.

I mean aside from the time travel it makes a way fucking better script for Episode 1 then Epsiode 1 could ever hope.

anyway, if that's what you meant, then hats off to you pal you smarter than I thought.

I have to bump this question cus no way kaga going to read this deep into this thread.

[KagatobLuvsAnimu]

I have to bump this question cus no way kaga going to read this deep into this thread.

Its on the same page still, that's not how you bump dude.

I just thought Looper was entertaining without being mindless action (not that that's a bad thing) and was a fantasy/sci-fi type of movie.

You read too much into stuff.

[Big_Japan]

whichever hotpocket changed the title of my beautiful thread is the real soiler here

[iruinedyourday]

IYou read too much into stuff.

Lol tell me about how someone getting raped in Kailua Lampoor causes an economic collapse in the United States.

Anywho of you ever wonder, would it be possible to show Darth Vader as a child, and NOT completely ruin the character? The answer is you can, if he's as bad ass as the kid in looper.

[Pokesan]

actually hayden christensen sucks on every level and doesn't appear in films anymore for a very good reason*

*the reason is he's a shitty actor

[AzzarTheGod]

My biggest gripe was Carrie Fisher ruined it for me. Even though she lost weight she looked horrible, acting was bad on her part too.

Carrie Fisher was absolutely nothing compared to how Snoke being fully cartoon animated with Frozen style CGI ruined everything for me. CGI is fine, but Snoke was Saturday morning cartoon animated. Out of place doesn't begin to describe the problems with him.

The worst part? He is the fucking boss. The boss is a fucking out of place cartoon. Kylo Ren's scenes were with a fucking cartoon. Kylo Ren serves a cartoon from Frozen. Ugh god damn it JJ you firebombed the fucking movie more than Jar Jar Binks EVER could.

That goofy CGI robot General Grevious from the prequels was more realistic and believably acted/designed and CGI'd. And that is bad, real bad. What the fuck were they thinking with Snoke?

I never thought I'd say this, but I want Lucas's episode 7. Fuck.

Please tell me Disney leased Lucasfilm and its up in 10 years? Damn.

I will repeat, the prequels have appreciated in quality for a lot of people.

[iruinedyourday]

He's right u kno

[snoopdog]

I really like General Grevious, even the coughing I thought was cool.

[Big_Japan]

once you've accepted that they're going full retard special effects masturbation, Grievous really is the best thing in that movie

[snoopdog]

Special effects are killing many of the movies. The last Hobbit movie was so overdone in special effects it killed the franchise for me.