Hermionie Granger Repels the Fire Goblin Menace

[paulgiamatti]

'Twas a long journey to the peaks of Lavastorm Mountains. It was there that she spotted them - an encampment of foul goblin creatures, surely none other than Solusek Ro's minions infesting the mountainside. Luckily there are only two; a sinister wizard delving into the dark arts and a scout keeping lookout.

The scout spots her, and she fearlessly gestures in its direction.

http://imgur.com/DHkItWP.png



Clearly angered by the wood elf's imputence, the goblin charges, hoping to catch her off guard. In one fell swing of her blade she fells the creature as a fire drake investigates the action overhead.

http://imgur.com/0sfa9xg.png


http://imgur.com/NeRIu5Z.png


http://imgur.com/rCIph6b.png



The goblin wizard hears the last tortured moan of its companion and flees the encampment. It doesn't get far - the elf moves upon it in an instant, the swing of her blade calling upon the flames of the land.

http://imgur.com/LUjT5MR.png


http://imgur.com/hSQ0i2y.png


http://imgur.com/PSz1jp7.png



She says a short prayer for the tortured creatures, now forever returned to the dirt. May Tunare grant them more fortune in the afterlife.

http://imgur.com/0w4EhLc.png

[skarlorn]

1. Hermionie Granger's name repels me from liking this story
2. I'm pretty sure that the goblins worship Nagafen, they aren't attached to sol ro faction and you never see fire goblins in Temple of Sol Ro
3. Imputence is not a word
4. you switched from past to present tense
5. keep trying

[paulgiamatti]

edit: double post

[paulgiamatti]

1. Hermionie Granger's name repels me from liking this story

You only like shitty things.

2. I'm pretty sure that the goblins worship Nagafen, they aren't attached to sol ro faction and you never see fire goblins in Temple of Sol Ro

http://wiki.project1999.com/Solusek_Goblin

3. Imputence is not a word

*impudence

4. you switched from past to present tense

Intentionally.

[Jimjam]

You might be interested to know the goblins don't worship Nagafen. If you take a look round SolA you'll see they have Naggy raid plans scrawled on some of their walls. Unless they are 'kill your god' idiots like us PCs.

[skarlorn]

"Solusek's Eye is the cavernous home of both the fire goblins and their allied clans, and the Solusek Mining Company, an intrepid group of gnomes here for the mineral wealth this area has to offer. Both live in an unsteady alliance with one another in the lava-filled caverns, united by the close presence of their enemies, the Solusek kobolds and Lord Nagafen himself."

IMO, the only Solusek related avowed NPCs in Sol A would be the efreeti and the elementals. Goblins (like kobolds) are just living there because they got no other place to be.

I hope we get some more evidence that can prove this one way or another. Hope ur write a new story and improve the style paul

[skarlorn]

You might be interested to know the goblins don't worship Nagafen. If you take a look round SolA you'll see they have Naggy raid plans scrawled on some of their walls. Unless they are 'kill your god' idiots like us PCs.

now that's some good prof. I remember stumbling across this at one point.

[paulgiamatti]

I know I'm bad at roleplay fiction, I just wanted to make this post to see if anyone notices something. Also elf slaying goblins is cool, duh.

[Pokesan]

do you think hermione granger ever said the n word? ):

[TacoSmasher]

jesus fucking christ. This is what people do with TOV gear on blue if they arent raiding?

[utenan]

your sword has a very "non classic" quality to it : p


*cough* goblins are followers of Rallos Zek *cough* oh sorry had to clear my throat there for a second

[skarlorn]

your sword has a very "non classic" quality to it : p


*cough* goblins are followers of Rallos Zek *cough* oh sorry had to clear my throat there for a second

thanks pal knew you could be counted on to chime in with your HUGE 2cp...

[Pokesan]

your sword has a very "non classic" quality to it : p


*cough* goblins are followers of Rallos Zek *cough* oh sorry had to clear my throat there for a second

thread just went triple platinum with this post, pras

[Cecily]

jesus fucking christ. This is what people do with TOV gear on blue if they arent raiding?

Please refer to: http://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=176974

[AzzarTheGod]

1. Hermionie Granger's name repels me from liking this story
2. I'm pretty sure that the goblins worship Nagafen, they aren't attached to sol ro faction and you never see fire goblins in Temple of Sol Ro
3. Imputence is not a word
4. you switched from past to present tense
5. keep trying

o lord this post was a biggun...

[AzzarTheGod]

do you think hermione granger ever said the n word? ):

Lot of big posts in this thread.

[paulgiamatti]

:(

[paulgiamatti]

Man, I guess I'll have to start putting disclaimers in my EQ fic - "This is a work of fiction and may or may not pertain to actual EverQuest lore!"

[Cecily]

One day whilst walking throughth the foresth, Zalea did chance upon a goblin and slew the beast. The community was overjoyed.

THE END

by Cecily Age 32

[Lojik]

Man, I guess I'll have to start putting disclaimers in my EQ fic - "This is a work of fiction and may or may not pertain to actual EverQuest lore!"

lawyerquest applies to forumquest too

[Chaboo_Cleric]

A nobody wanting to be a somebody

at least people are intrigued to copy others sickening hobby, which can be entertaining. This was incredibly boring and lacked good writing skills. Please keep practicing you will one day get there Hermonie (Weird name)

[Aesop]

relevant speech by Ego:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IvnptQJ__U

[paulgiamatti]

relevant speech by Ego:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IvnptQJ__U

Ah man, I need to watch that again - such a great movie.

It does give me a laugh when idiots like Chaboo, Skarlorn, and Azzar come through contributive threads like this, as they always do, and offer the only thing they've ever contributed to P99 if not in their entire lives: giant, steaming piles of rancid shit. It's no skin off my back really - I'm more than secure in my own output, and, as everyone knows, shitty trolls only come through to shit things up when they're feeling down about themselves. That's okay - we've all been there, it's part of being human, but it won't stop me from fighting negativity with negativity.

And just to put my nerdery where my nerdhole is, here's a list of everything I've contributed to P99 so far:


New water in old zones walkthrough (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=139469) - will be updated at some point to use more of the Titanium water graphics, some of them are much better than the generic one this uses.

Better Bags for Vert & DuxaUI! (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=254441) - will be updated at some point to allow for more screenspace, better transparency, and color tinting.

Better classic elementals! (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=256151) - not my original work, but the walkthrough for how to install on P99 is.

Better sounds for P99! (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2382571&postcount=23) - improves upon Xevin's work by converting to a readable format, decreases obscenely loud volume levels for some sounds.

Updated version of the P99 transparency patcher (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2384619&postcount=71) - includes the goblin crown in permafrost and barbarian horns fixes.

Fix for classic female wood elf plate helm (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=255767) - for those using Chebby's improved hi-res textures.

Target Window Con Colors with GINA (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=251623) - still need to post a video of the end result.

139 posts in the Technical Discussion forum (https://www.project1999.com/forums/search.php?searchid=6624696)

29 bug submittals to the Bugs forum (https://www.project1999.com/forums/search.php?searchid=6624686)

Hundreds of contributions/alterations to the P99 wiki (http://wiki.project1999.com/Special:Contributions/Paulgiamatti)


So guys, what have you contributed lately? Care to make me a list? Or, you know, you can just keep pathetically trolling threads in Elf Simulator's Screenshots forum when you're feeling bad about life at

http://imgur.com/GRjNtl5.png or http://imgur.com/87dfv2T.png...

The choice is yours!

[paulgiamatti]

your sword has a very "non classic" quality to it : p

Kraddok won the thread. Can't get anything past the EQ Mysteries guy. By the way, there are some really cryptic oriental looking runes on the walls of the crypt room in Old Sebilis. What does it mean?!

[Vallanor]

I love how the title describes both the story in the OP and the forum thread itself.

[Pokesan]

Ah man, I need to watch that again - such a great movie.

It does give me a laugh when idiots like Chaboo, Skarlorn, and Azzar come through contributive threads like this, as they always do, and offer the only thing they've ever contributed to P99 if not in their entire lives: giant, steaming piles of rancid shit. It's no skin off my back really - I'm more than secure in my own output, and, as everyone knows, shitty trolls only come through to shit things up when they're feeling down about themselves. That's okay - we've all been there, it's part of being human, but it won't stop me from fighting negativity with negativity.

And just to put my nerdery where my nerdhole is, here's a list of everything I've contributed to P99 so far:


New water in old zones walkthrough (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=139469) - will be updated at some point to use more of the Titanium water graphics, some of them are much better than the generic one this uses.

Better Bags for Vert & DuxaUI! (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=254441) - will be updated at some point to allow for more screenspace, better transparency, and color tinting.

Better classic elementals! (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=256151) - not my original work, but the walkthrough for how to install on P99 is.

Better sounds for P99! (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2382571&postcount=23) - improves upon Xevin's work by converting to a readable format, decreases obscenely loud volume levels for some sounds.

Updated version of the P99 transparency patcher (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2384619&postcount=71) - includes the goblin crown in permafrost and barbarian horns fixes.

Fix for classic female wood elf plate helm (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=255767) - for those using Chebby's improved hi-res textures.

Target Window Con Colors with GINA (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=251623) - still need to post a video of the end result.

139 posts in the Technical Discussion forum (https://www.project1999.com/forums/search.php?searchid=6624696)

29 bug submittals to the Bugs forum (https://www.project1999.com/forums/search.php?searchid=6624686)

Hundreds of contributions/alterations to the P99 wiki (http://wiki.project1999.com/Special:Contributions/Paulgiamatti)


So guys, what have you contributed lately? Care to make me a list? Or, you know, you can just keep pathetically trolling threads in Elf Simulator's Screenshots forum when you're feeling bad about life at

http://imgur.com/GRjNtl5.png or http://imgur.com/87dfv2T.png...

The choice is yours!

the normal adult response to being trolled is to post an exhausting list of all your message board accomplishments

[paulgiamatti]

The normal adult response to feeling insecure about oneself is to attempt to belittle the other's accomplishments.

[Necabo]

Shouldn't she be wearing a robe? :P

[Jimjam]

Some people have added constructive criticism on the prose.... I'm gonna say I really enjoyed the screenshots and think the pictures were well composed and well timed on capturing the animations.

[skarlorn]

I sincerely wish you wouldn't take it so serious paul. This isn't RNF. We are all glad you're trying, but it's important you work on the errors you've made in order to create high quality story for the elf sim forums. Most of us are highly educated people and expect a certain standard of storycraft.

If you want to continue writing, it will be of vital importance that you learn to take critique with gratitude. Or at least not flare up and lash out like a child. If you look at my first post on this thread and take a breath, I hope you can see that each point detracted from the quality of what I had hoped would be a fun p99 adventure tale.

As for personal character attacks on me and my fellow elf forum questers,,, really? Are you so oblivious to ForumQuest that you aren't aware people like Azzar and I are long standing server heroes who have walked the path of our Lord Christ and risen again?

Feel better soon bud.

And try to make some roleplay names ;) or at least create an interweaving set of jokes between your immersion-breaking names and the quests they go on "hermione granger steals the polyjuice potion from the fire goblin wizards" would be a start.

[paulgiamatti]

You wouldn't know an educated person if they saved your life on an operating table.

[Pokesan]

You wouldn't know an educated person if they saved your life on an operating table.

http://i.imgur.com/9K492OE.jpg

[skarlorn]

glad to see my inspiring words have aided ur recovery, be blessed :)

[Raev]

I love how the title describes both the story in the OP and the forum thread itself.

we have a winner

Also PaulG, your story was simply not that good. There is no plot! And no one will be that interested in screenshots of a L60 ranger vaporizing a camp of fire goblins. Writing well takes practice and effort. So, work harder and try again.

P.S. anyone who posts a bullet list of their elf sim accomplishments is in fact not secure about anything, really.

[paulgiamatti]

You know, I could just keep posting the line about belittling others accomplishments and it wouldn't become any less true.

*person posts list of things they've done*

*other person reads it and feels shitty because even though it's just elf sim, they haven't actually done anything for the community except make RnF threads*

*person posts remark about how insecure the person who took five minutes to make a list of things they've done must be*

[maskedmelon]

I applaud OPs foray into the realm of fanfic. I don't think we have enough things like this ^^ I wouldn't get too rustled by the feedback whether constructive or trollish. There some good valid points that can help you and the other stuff, well I think it just all in good fun ^^

Make another one!

[big_ole_jpn]

Ah man, I need to watch that again - such a great movie.

It does give me a laugh when idiots like Chaboo, Skarlorn, and Azzar come through contributive threads like this, as they always do, and offer the only thing they've ever contributed to P99 if not in their entire lives: giant, steaming piles of rancid shit. It's no skin off my back really - I'm more than secure in my own output, and, as everyone knows, shitty trolls only come through to shit things up when they're feeling down about themselves. That's okay - we've all been there, it's part of being human, but it won't stop me from fighting negativity with negativity.

And just to put my nerdery where my nerdhole is, here's a list of everything I've contributed to P99 so far:


New water in old zones walkthrough (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=139469) - will be updated at some point to use more of the Titanium water graphics, some of them are much better than the generic one this uses.

Better Bags for Vert & DuxaUI! (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=254441) - will be updated at some point to allow for more screenspace, better transparency, and color tinting.

Better classic elementals! (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=256151) - not my original work, but the walkthrough for how to install on P99 is.

Better sounds for P99! (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2382571&postcount=23) - improves upon Xevin's work by converting to a readable format, decreases obscenely loud volume levels for some sounds.

Updated version of the P99 transparency patcher (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2384619&postcount=71) - includes the goblin crown in permafrost and barbarian horns fixes.

Fix for classic female wood elf plate helm (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=255767) - for those using Chebby's improved hi-res textures.

Target Window Con Colors with GINA (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=251623) - still need to post a video of the end result.

139 posts in the Technical Discussion forum (https://www.project1999.com/forums/search.php?searchid=6624696)

29 bug submittals to the Bugs forum (https://www.project1999.com/forums/search.php?searchid=6624686)

Hundreds of contributions/alterations to the P99 wiki (http://wiki.project1999.com/Special:Contributions/Paulgiamatti)


So guys, what have you contributed lately? Care to make me a list? Or, you know, you can just keep pathetically trolling threads in Elf Simulator's Screenshots forum when you're feeling bad about life at

http://imgur.com/GRjNtl5.png or http://imgur.com/87dfv2T.png...

The choice is yours!

accomplishments

posting in a dank thread

[paulgiamatti]

im like peroxide cuz i stay bubblin in the cut

Except you're not like peroxide at all, because nothing you say carries any amount of potency or veracity, and peroxide disinfects things whereas you're just an infectant.

[maskedmelon]

Oh, well I missed that post. If we wanna talk about accomplishments, I am not one to brag, but I mean, well

MASTER Forum Quester (https://www.project1999.com/forums/member.php?u=20457)

Over 3,0000 HIGH QUALITY posts (https://www.project1999.com/forums/search.php?searchid=6629874)

Less than 500 shitposts (https://www.project1999.com/forums/search.php?searchid=6629874)

Creator of Boobs thread (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=246365&page=35)

Upstanding Member and Contributor of Society of Retarded Posters (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=222673)

Friend of the most banned forum accounts (https://www.project1999.com/forums/member.php?u=20457)

Friend of the most P99 ForumQuest celebrities (https://www.project1999.com/forums/member.php?u=20457)

[paulgiamatti]

Impressive - meet me in my office at 6:00 am sharp.

[maskedmelon]

Are you speaking down to me? :c This isn't nice paul....

[skarlorn]

maskedmelon is like the varys of p99 forums

[maskedmelon]

Had to google that, but am deeply flattered ^^

[big_ole_jpn]

Except you're not like peroxide at all, because nothing you say carries any amount of potency or veracity, and peroxide disinfects things whereas you're just an infectant.

if u were a bacterium u'd think that peroxide was an infectant

think about it

[AzzarTheGod]

It does give me a laugh when idiots like Chaboo, Skarlorn, and Azzar come through contributive threads like this,

So guys, what have you contributed lately? Care to make me a list? Or, you know, you can just keep pathetically trolling threads in Elf Simulator's Screenshots forum when you're feeling bad about life at

http://imgur.com/GRjNtl5.png or http://imgur.com/87dfv2T.png...

The choice is yours!

No idea what your beef is, but I have made quality contributions to these forums for YEARS. Are you roleplaying a snarky paul giamatti character you saw in a movie? Very cute. *pats head*

Heres just one example of a classic 1999 story I wrote to the best of my recollection. So yes I do share and make quality contributions to these forums. And I more than anyone know all too well what its like not to be appreciated as you might find in the link below. The boards are rife with trolls, but should that stop us from having a bop when someone makes a funny or entertaining post? No, I think we are all adults here and we can handle a little bit of rational criticism. Skarlorn (the person I quoted in this thread) was just making some critical observations, I found them to be very astute observations-- and I pointed that out.

https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?t=255425&page=3

The choice is yours whether you choose to aware yourself, as skarlorn indicated, or remain dumb, deaf, and blind to the Savior and Our Lord Jesus Christ.

I can keep going I'll be back with more links sit tight paul.

[Aesop]

You didn't save Rexx.


RIP Emperor Rexx.

[AzzarTheGod]

You didn't save Rexx.


RIP Emperor Rexx.

This. Very much this.

[heyokah]

Observing nerds in their natural habitat is fascinating.

[Dothgar]

I love how the title describes both the story in the OP and the forum thread itself.

lold

[Fame]

accomplishments

[this user was banned]

This is shit, my never ending Freeport rat extermination quest is a far better story. Mine ended up with rat kabobs and rat sandwiches for the entire city and I was proclaimed meme lord of Norrath.

[georgie]

I'm a kimmy granger guy

[this user was banned]

I'm a kimmy granger guy

Generic white woman porn is boring.

[AzzarTheGod]

Generic white woman porn is boring.

went to her twitter, saw her making out with Kendra Lust, so I thought she had potential....

checked the movies. boring

[paulgiamatti]

Dang, itt I've got a de facto fanclub in the making - I mean, I'm flattered guys, but really I don't need to be loved ;)