How Dost Ye Wipe Thine Anus?

[skarlorn]

Cleaning your anus is very important. E. Coli and plenty of other dangerous bacterium live in our intestines and when you discharge fecal matter, it sticks to your rectum and the hairs lining your ass crack. When you don't clean properly, your butt smells like shit. You soil your undies. Soon, you develop irritations. This leads to problem like Stinky, no rimjobs, and the Ring of Fire.

How do you make sure it's all "taken care of?"

Tell us!

[Angushjalmur]

I scrape my ass with a steel beam then freshen up with jet fuel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX1SojKfgNI

[Baler]

do you wipe your ass forwards or backwards?
up the crotch or into the crack?

OP is shitty.

[Whirled]

I see many people wearing butt floss. Does this count?

[maskedmelon]

You know, wet wipes aren't just for people with butt problems. They work really well and have many other uses at which they outperform other paper products as well. I would have liked to see better wet wipe representation in this poll.

#wipeitclean2016

[Baler]

You know, wet wipes aren't just for people with butt problems. They work really well and have many other uses at which they outperform other paper products as well. I would have liked to see better wet wipe representation in this poll.

#wipeitclean2016

Wet wipes are awesome. They're not just for babies either. Glad you brought them up because not many people talk about that part of life. But you all should give wet wipes a try.
I even keep a pack of disinfecting wet wipes in the car for when I pump gas.

[SoekiWiz]

Wet wipes are awesome. They're not just for babies either. Glad you brought them up because not many people talk about that part of life. But you all should give wet wipes a try.
I even keep a pack of disinfecting wet wipes in the car for when I pump gas.

How did this go from a thread about sphincter cleanliness to you carrying Clorox wipes to the gas station?

What, exactly, are you doing with this gas pump at said gas station?

We are all very concernicus for you and the general population that may be subjected to beholding your anal gas pumping escapades.

[myriverse]

Three shells!

[R Flair]

I use wet wipes to clean my dog's legs when his aim falters.

[maskedmelon]

How did this go from a thread about sphincter cleanliness to you carrying Clorox wipes to the gas station?

What, exactly, are you doing with this gas pump at said gas station?

We are all very concernicus for you and the general population that may be subjected to beholding your anal gas pumping escapades.

It just a part of the broader application of wet wipes. Gas pumps are filthy. You don't carry a roll of toilet paper to wipe your hands with after pumping gas. Wet wipes though, well you can keep them in your glove box, your purse, your backpack, etc. I keep them in a bunch of places.

They are especially useful when you don't have immediate access to water or need to clean up without getting too wet. Like cleaning your hands if you have to use one of those godawful portapottees a lot a public event, or if you want to clean up a bit after some physical activity, but don't have time to shower right away (it happens! #dryshampoo). Or just to clean your hands before eating or after eating if you are out and about. Good for cleaning face or removing makeup, good for wiping down public tables or trays before using, good for wiping bird poo off outdoor seats or car door handle. ALL KINDS of uses beyond just being super awesome for your butt^^

[Whirled]

^ I keep a gallon jug of water in the back of truck but I'm a pretty unique kinda person lol

[Blitzers]

I would like to know why maskedmelon's tongue wasn't an option, guess I can't participate in this poll. lol

[Angushjalmur]

middle aged men creeping on cute japanese lady boys in elf forams


fucking cringe

[maskedmelon]

I would like to know why maskedmelon's tongue wasn't an option, guess I can't participate in this poll. lol

Wow, what a metaphor, not sure what to say tbh. Admitting you still bath in the excellence of my words even with your head so far up your ass; I am speechless ^^


How long you been thinkin' 'bout my tongue though?

[Baler]

http://i.imgur.com/g9vjijP.gif

[maskedmelon]

Yeah, well I just came to offer constructive criticism, but then saw wet wipes on list and so spoke to their usefulness, then Blitz comes in to wow us with his corpophagiphilia and well, here we are. I am taking my tongue and wet wipes and leaving now.

Enjoy your chafed anuses and poo discussions!

[Angushjalmur]

is that question open 2 the room? cuz long time

http://i.imgur.com/g9vjijP.gif

[Angushjalmur]

once a day is really the bare minimum for being healthy. realistically you should shit about 3 times a day

[Trungep99]

If you don't have a bidet then You don't know what your missing in life

[Nymphomancer]

It's like wiping peanut butter out of a shag carpet.

Sometimes the shit just never stops

[Angushjalmur]

You need more fiber dawg

[skarlorn]

I'm All about the wet wipes melon.