maskedmelon
11-28-2016, 11:08 AM
Soooooo;I purchased this too on Black Friday (I know, I know, I didn't disclose this in the Black Friday thread ^^;), because well, the previews looked super cool and idrgaf what Russians think. I set aside some time Saturday night to watch it and well, wasn't all too pleased, but wasn't really disappointed either. I didn't really expect it to be as awesome as the previews, but at the same time it could have been, oh I don't know, more immersive maybe? Not really sure what I was expecting tbh.
Anyway, I watched it and first thing I have to say is that they spell effects and stuff were SO cool :3 I think they did a good job with that ^^ Seemed they did a a decent job of translating the Warcraft art style to a semi realistic environment, but beyond that I don't have much praise. The storytelling was awful, the acting was atrocious and integration between the live action and cg was... odd.
Let's start with acting to get that out of the way, I mean OMG WTF!? Did Blizzard like limit their casting pool to some kind of LARP society? The level of nerd was staggering and it was painfully obvious none of the cast had ever voiced lines in front of a camera for anything more significant than an eighth grade documentary :c Actually, I take that back, the Orc girl (don't remember her name or anyone else's do to shitty storytelling, but we will get to that in a minute) did feel pretty natural, but she didn't really have much of a character to develop. The other characters all seemed forced. Credit to the shoeless night for trying (it was evident). He did make me laugh, but still, not quite cutting it :/
Now, the story... Omgosh, where to begin. Well, out of the gate let's just agree the baby Moses deal is overdone and stupid with orcs. Honestly... That aside though, pretty bad story. It was a pretty long show, but I did t feel that I developed any sort of connection at all with any of the characters and as a result don't remember rang of their names. I don't know if there was just too much bouncing around from character to character or what, but throughout the whole film I was struggling to figure out who mattered.
Good Orc Chief seemed like a decent human being, but you never really spent enough time with him to get to know him or why you should care about him. Obviously the rest of the or s were mostly shitheads, so why does it matter if this one is nice? Why should we care about his quest to save his shithead people?
Young Mage Boy was not only a terrible actor, he had a dumb sort of face that annoyed me most of the show. I was pretty happy when he turned the guard into a sheep ^^ Got a good laugh outta that, but again that was mostly because it had seemed to me and to the Shoeless Knight that he had done it :/
The Guaridan (oh, I remembered a name! we're a title at least^^). This guy had a pretty cool character, let's be honest, but the clay golem thing, I mean what the heck? Honestly... That had to be the most ridiculous part of this entire movie. That thing looked utterly retarded. He's all up on the scaffold with clay smeared on his hairy chest, working hard to create this thing that looks like it stepped right fucking out from The Iron Giant. Anyway, I liked his feather cloak and all the magic and stuff and overall he had a pretty good look (obviously. It from the Blizzcon LARP casting pool), but his lines were a little too melodramatic. Yeah, I get that he was some sort of prodigy who could really relate to anyone and was being consumed by the Fell (or whatever the hell the real evil was called) out of an earnest desire to save humanity, but come on...
Oh yeah, the Fell, or whatever, it kinda irked me that the only real bad guy in this story was some non-sentient amorphous magical energy. Yeah Evil Orc Necro seemed pretty evil, but if we consider what happened to the um Bone Cape Orc guy when the was granted the Fell, we can safely assume that Evil Orc Necro was not really so evil prior to encountering the Fell and it was really all the Fell's fault. It just is SO I satisfying to have nobody to blame but some intangible force :c
And then we come to the Shoeless Knight. I suppose he is supposed to be the hero of the story and while I don't really know how I feel about hi. Fulfilling that role, at least he was entertaining. I'd say his acting was a good step above Young Mage Boy, but the story really prevented me from developing any sort of connection with him. Like when his son died, I as like "awww, sorry pal :/", but couldn't really feel bad beyond that because I never really got to know him or his son. And why was his son in the infirmary when he just had a cut on his head? Wtf ? （ーー；)? Anyway, Shoeless Knight saves the day when he blinds The Iron Giant by removing half its head and sacrificing his footwear to escape. Who comes up with this stuff?
So then, the king and a handful of his guys get stuck surrounded by orcs since they are too dumb to take the portal while it's open -.-*. So the king is like, "oh hey, I've an idea Orc Girl! You should kill me, so you can become a hero and stop this war!" She of course obliges and makes zero effort to conceal her feelings from the orcs... And then... does nothing to stop the war >.>
Was kinda lame how quickly the Shoeless Knight dispatched the Fell-consumed Bone Cale Orc too. His griffon was pretty nifty though ^^
Anyway, I watched it and first thing I have to say is that they spell effects and stuff were SO cool :3 I think they did a good job with that ^^ Seemed they did a a decent job of translating the Warcraft art style to a semi realistic environment, but beyond that I don't have much praise. The storytelling was awful, the acting was atrocious and integration between the live action and cg was... odd.
Let's start with acting to get that out of the way, I mean OMG WTF!? Did Blizzard like limit their casting pool to some kind of LARP society? The level of nerd was staggering and it was painfully obvious none of the cast had ever voiced lines in front of a camera for anything more significant than an eighth grade documentary :c Actually, I take that back, the Orc girl (don't remember her name or anyone else's do to shitty storytelling, but we will get to that in a minute) did feel pretty natural, but she didn't really have much of a character to develop. The other characters all seemed forced. Credit to the shoeless night for trying (it was evident). He did make me laugh, but still, not quite cutting it :/
Now, the story... Omgosh, where to begin. Well, out of the gate let's just agree the baby Moses deal is overdone and stupid with orcs. Honestly... That aside though, pretty bad story. It was a pretty long show, but I did t feel that I developed any sort of connection at all with any of the characters and as a result don't remember rang of their names. I don't know if there was just too much bouncing around from character to character or what, but throughout the whole film I was struggling to figure out who mattered.
Good Orc Chief seemed like a decent human being, but you never really spent enough time with him to get to know him or why you should care about him. Obviously the rest of the or s were mostly shitheads, so why does it matter if this one is nice? Why should we care about his quest to save his shithead people?
Young Mage Boy was not only a terrible actor, he had a dumb sort of face that annoyed me most of the show. I was pretty happy when he turned the guard into a sheep ^^ Got a good laugh outta that, but again that was mostly because it had seemed to me and to the Shoeless Knight that he had done it :/
The Guaridan (oh, I remembered a name! we're a title at least^^). This guy had a pretty cool character, let's be honest, but the clay golem thing, I mean what the heck? Honestly... That had to be the most ridiculous part of this entire movie. That thing looked utterly retarded. He's all up on the scaffold with clay smeared on his hairy chest, working hard to create this thing that looks like it stepped right fucking out from The Iron Giant. Anyway, I liked his feather cloak and all the magic and stuff and overall he had a pretty good look (obviously. It from the Blizzcon LARP casting pool), but his lines were a little too melodramatic. Yeah, I get that he was some sort of prodigy who could really relate to anyone and was being consumed by the Fell (or whatever the hell the real evil was called) out of an earnest desire to save humanity, but come on...
Oh yeah, the Fell, or whatever, it kinda irked me that the only real bad guy in this story was some non-sentient amorphous magical energy. Yeah Evil Orc Necro seemed pretty evil, but if we consider what happened to the um Bone Cape Orc guy when the was granted the Fell, we can safely assume that Evil Orc Necro was not really so evil prior to encountering the Fell and it was really all the Fell's fault. It just is SO I satisfying to have nobody to blame but some intangible force :c
And then we come to the Shoeless Knight. I suppose he is supposed to be the hero of the story and while I don't really know how I feel about hi. Fulfilling that role, at least he was entertaining. I'd say his acting was a good step above Young Mage Boy, but the story really prevented me from developing any sort of connection with him. Like when his son died, I as like "awww, sorry pal :/", but couldn't really feel bad beyond that because I never really got to know him or his son. And why was his son in the infirmary when he just had a cut on his head? Wtf ? （ーー；)? Anyway, Shoeless Knight saves the day when he blinds The Iron Giant by removing half its head and sacrificing his footwear to escape. Who comes up with this stuff?
So then, the king and a handful of his guys get stuck surrounded by orcs since they are too dumb to take the portal while it's open -.-*. So the king is like, "oh hey, I've an idea Orc Girl! You should kill me, so you can become a hero and stop this war!" She of course obliges and makes zero effort to conceal her feelings from the orcs... And then... does nothing to stop the war >.>
Was kinda lame how quickly the Shoeless Knight dispatched the Fell-consumed Bone Cale Orc too. His griffon was pretty nifty though ^^