All of my plat and 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings for White Dragon Scales

[ThePeoplesBard]

Hi, this is Kavalier <Paradox>, The People's Bard. I'm seeking a key part of my epic quest: White Dragon Scales. I'm offering all the plat I have, and, to honey the pot, a bag of 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings. Sell your Scales to me, and 10 toons in your guild or 10 of your friends get clickies!

I currently have 80k pp. As I slowly earn more plat, I'll bump this post with updates on my available funds.

Thank you for your consideration. I've been wanting to complete this quest for 15 years, and I'm finally close. RL keeps me from poopsocking, though, so I need help from those who can! Also, if any of you ever need help from a Bard, I'm your guy.

To exhibit my worthiness, I wrote and recorded a song with my wife called "Singing Short Sword". You can listen to it here: https://youtu.be/2aMaZDdxyKA

Singing Short Sword

Bm E A
I got a pretty wife, and there's whiskey in my cup.
I got food on my plate, but it just ain't enough.
E A
I haven't won, I haven't scored,
Bm E A
'cause I don't have a Singing Short Sword!

I got a steady job; there's no leaks in my roof.
But I'm guilty of greed, and here's the proof:
I think I'm who Lady Luck ignored
'cause I don't have a Singing Short Sword!

D E, A
I've seen my fair share of loot,
I've seen my fair share of lutes,
but all of these prizes seem moot
because of one simple truth:

I don't have a Singing Short Sword!

[Mizard]

Somebody give this man White Dragon Scales!

[Kesselring]

This is the best lol. Good luck kav!

[Shea]

Kavalier is a great bard , on and offline. Good luck on the scales buddy

[Eldon]

A+

Bump

[khanable]

LOL the ending to that video

Good luck.. really hope you find a scale!

[necro316]

this song sucks lol

[necro316]

ur wife has some biceps tho

[Docx]

Can't tell if your wife hates you, or hates you don't have your epic. She is glaring a lot!

[EQBallzz]

Awesome. Good luck on the scale Kavalier! :)

[solrokk]

Not sure if you're wife was miserable to do this or what. But, I guess she doesn't understand EQ. Because my wife doesn't either.

Either way, best of luck. I've known many a bard that quit this god for saken game over the white scales/epic.

[Nommis]

Legit

[Skew]

Cute.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Thank you for the kind words, all. And thank you for considering me for your Scale sale.

I will take song requests through PM or right in this thread, by the way.

[Thermite]

Lol good stuff bro ... what's a poop sock she said hah A+

[jeffreync]

HAHAHA she definitely hates you for making her do that! HAHAHA awesome stuff

[Saeedor]

Offering up 50k of my plat to add on to the purchase of this white scale, if you have any potential sellers I'll add another 50k to get this man his epic or I can offer a free cleric epic mq, keep me posted on prospects.

And this is why I remember this guy all these days from Prexus, solid move there Kluwen, bump

[Liia]

Offering up 50k of my plat to add on to the purchase of this white scale, if you have any potential sellers I'll add another 50k to get this man his epic or I can offer a free cleric epic mq, keep me posted on prospects.

I'll do the same! Willing to add up to 50k. Keep me posted.

[Tupakk]

I might not have Kluwen and Liia Status level plat but I will toss in 10k because of "whats a poopsock comment."

You know how to find me.

[ThePeoplesBard]

@Kluwen1, @Liia, and @Tupakk that's an immensely kind gesture, and though I'm somewhat embarrassed, I'll graciously accept. When I was young and stubborn, my grandmother told me it takes humility to accept help from others. Life is hard enough; no sense in making it harder by denying a helping hand. So thank you. But I will consider the plat a LOAN and repay it as soon as I can.

This means the offer is now up to 190k and 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings. Message me here or PST to Kavalier in game.

[swilleville]

Am i the only one who noticed how nice this guys teeth are? A1 grill yo.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Bard bumps should be musical, so here's a jingle/theme song I wrote for Dial a Port and @Tupakk.

Listen here: https://clyp.it/3muf4sgq

Dial a Port

If you have some place to go, if you have some friends to meet
There's one way to get there that's faster than your feet:
Dial a Port--a magic carpet ride of sorts!
A hop, a skip, a jump from where you want to be!
Dial a Port, your Norrathian escort!
One tell away from the sights you want to see!
So if you have some place to go, and if your time is short,
just Dial a Port!

[Tupakk]

A+

[Maverickkc]

Kavalier is well deserving. I hope someone can make this happen for him.

-Kenardo

[liillea69]

Bumpity-bump!! Give the man his scales!!

[ThePeoplesBard]

190k and 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings for White Dragon Scales! Ask your friends, ask your guild--do it for the love of music.

[Swiftyfist]

bump

[gundanium07]

10K on the table from me.

[ragnarr]

I will also throw in 10k, just pm me when the deal is going down and I'll show up to contribute. This video is so awesome...your wife is a saint lol

[ThePeoplesBard]

Thank you @gundanium07 and @ragnarr. As I told the others, I humbly accept, but will treat the donation as a loan. I'll repay it as soon as I can. Also, let me know if I can ever write a song for you. Something fun, or something serious.

The bid is now 210k and 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings for White Dragon Scales.

[liillea69]

Gundanium07 is Bunnii btw, Kav 😉

[FatMice]

I'll add 10k to the pot as well. Let's be the community we want to be!

[ThePeoplesBard]

Thank you, @FatMice!

220k and 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings for White Dragon Scales!

[Nellee]

Not sure if you remember Zigili and I from Skyfire but we're both rooting for you. Can't wait to see your eighth notes fly by!

[Lirin]

This is great, thank you for sharing and GL on your sword.

[ThePeoplesBard]

I remember you well, @Nellee. You guys let me loot those guts in SF, months ago now. Very kind. And now this post is blessed by a server overlord? Let's ride the wave of good karma!

220k and 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings for White Dragon Scales!

[Mizard]

I'll add 10k to your cause, Kav =)

[Tupakk]

230k Should buy it no problem, whose hoarding the scales!!

[ThePeoplesBard]

The generosity continues. The offer is now 230k and 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings and kisses and hugs.

[Sadiki]

230k Should buy it no problem, whose hoarding the scales!!
I missed the loot from a few kills here and there, but I've only seen one white dragon scale drop since last year from both dragons.

[Salelor]

^^ Salty ^^

[ThePeoplesBard]

Bard bump! Here's a song I wrote (FOR ADULTS):

https://youtu.be/Sgygnhx3y38

Sword Play
G C, G D, G C, G D G
Well, Lord Scyther was a master of the foil.
He'd train for hours, sweat and toil.
And while in his prime, at the King's championship,
he stabbed with his sword--and snap! went the tip.
C D, GDC, G D
But Scyther was never caught unarmed.
He pulled out his dick and screamed, "En garde!"
Even in its flaccid state, it took on quite a shape.
His foe, full of shame, hid behind his cape.
That's when the windmill attack began;
the hurricane it made scared off the lesser man.
CHORUS

[Muggens]

meh - would charge double for this quy

[ThePeoplesBard]

meh - would charge double for this quy

Listen here: https://clyp.it/tpyk3die

Charge Me Double

C G x3 D
They say the apple never falls far from the tree.
Before I met you, I had to agree.
You did not inherit your kin's kindness gene--
no, you are rather mean!
F G C
But charge me double! I'll have the last laugh.
Your mom charges me half.

Offer for scales is 230k and 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings and hugs and gnome shaped cookies.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Thanks to Kostbar, I have a bit more dough.

The offer is now 231k and 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings and kisses and hugs.

[mlefurge]

bump because this guy deserves those scales

[Muggens]

Listen here: https://clyp.it/tpyk3die

Charge Me Double

C G x3 D
They say the apple never falls far from the tree.
Before I met you, I had to agree.
You did not inherit your kin's kindness gene--
no, you are rather mean!
F G C
But charge me double! I'll have the last laugh.
Your mom charges me half.

Offer for scales is 230k and 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings and hugs and gnome shaped cookies.

Haha!

I endorse this guy too now, Ill add 1k to your pot.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Haha!

I endorse this guy too now, Ill add 1k to your pot.

Woohoo, 232k now. PST to Kavalier in game or message me here!

[ThePeoplesBard]

Be the beating heart of every song I write for the rest of my life. Be my muse. Sell me your Scales.

[Legidias]

Seen a guy in EC for at least a week straight advertising 300k top buy em and I never knew if he finally found some or not

[ThePeoplesBard]

Seen a guy in EC for at least a week straight advertising 300k top buy em and I never knew if he finally found some or not

Oh, yeah? When was this? I haven't seen anyone but me looking in EC for awhile.

Up to 235k and 10 earrings now.

[Legidias]

bout 1-2 months ago

[ThePeoplesBard]

How do you know when the Ogress Bard's concert is over?

When the fat lady sings.

Bump.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Bard bump! I'd be happy to write a song for you or your friends, too. Just shoot me a PM.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m28oo3u7kLw

Plane of Love

We started to rally right around 8
for a trip on up to The Plane of Hate.
To clear some trash, to grow as a group;
no, our socks ain't full of poop!

Paradox stood together when push came to shove.
Oh, we turned The Plane of Hate into The Plane of Love.
Oh, we turned The Plane of Hate into The Plane of Love.

Mandak stood tall even though he's short;
Jogurt got us there on his magic port.
And our army of healers were probably bored,
but no injuries went ignored!
CHORUS

Grevan hugged us all with P-O-T-Glades,
Kenardo had us floating like undead shades.
We had more pets than a crazy cat lady.
Our enchanters could charm the pants off of me.
CHORUS

And the Maestro was tough, but not tough enough--
we orchestrated a way to treat him rough.
And now I got Kelin's lute of seven strings
to pair with this voice of mine that sings...
CHORUS

[Mizard]

This is my favorite song from The People's Bard!

[ThePeoplesBard]

How many Bards does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Trick question: Bards can't screw in a light bulb. They're all AFK with mana song playing.

[Tasslehofp99]

Oh, yeah? When was this? I haven't seen anyone but me looking in EC for awhile.

Up to 235k and 10 earrings now.

I'll add 15k plat to the pot, I really enjoyed the song you posted. Your wife is awesome for willingly taking part in that as many have already mentioned. I'll be online around 12:30 AM EST if you want to grab it from me in the tunnel. Shoot a tell to either Barlow or Tasslehof.

[Ravager]

Gonna float this idea... Vox can be one-grouped, especially with Velious era gear... I bet some well geared 52's would answer a batphone for 10k. You could probably buy 5 attempts at Vox with 250k if you tracked her.

[Tupakk]

If he did a single group raid on Vox I would make a 52 whatever just to have a shot at being apart of the group that singles her and do it for free.

[Ravager]

If he did a single group raid on Vox I would make a 52 whatever just to have a shot at being apart of the group that singles her and do it for free.
I have a 52 cleric that would help, I wouldn't charge either.

[ThePeoplesBard]

I really like the idea and appreciate the offer to help with the kill, but I don't have the expertise to orchestrate it or the time. The odds that either white dragon will spawn when I'm not at work or doing chores for my slave-driver wife (I married her for her tambourine skills, not her kindness) are very low. I've struggled to even learn what their windows are, let alone be on for the fight.

But maybe a rag tag crew can assemble to pull it off to split the plat I'm offering?

The offer is now 240k and 10 earrings.

[ThePeoplesBard]

What's an East Commonlands forum participant's favorite carnival attraction?

Bumper cars.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Bumping with an invite.

Hello, friends!

I'm Kavalier, The People's Bard, and it's my Birthday on Monday, 13 March. My <Paradox> friends and I are hosting a Trak's Teeth Cycles and Seb Keying party at 8 PM EST that night, and you're invited. Details:

++ Does your main or an alt need a Seb Key? Then come on out, and we'll get you keyed up! Then you, too, can sit for hours in Seb LFG!

++ While keying, we'll have chances for some pretty great loot, including several 7-12k items and decent class-specific No Drop items. (See Hunter/Forager cycle section on the wiki here.) Everything will be greed rolled. If you participate in the kill, you get to roll your dice.

++ You are encouraged to bring your most exotic and silly Baking and Brewing treats. I will give out small rewards for Best Baker and Best Brewer.

PST to Kavalier if you have any questions. Looking forward to seeing you there.

-- TPB

[MABrown90]

I can't decide if you need a White Dragon Scale or a record deal.

Maybe both. Junk is dope.
Good Luck!

[Negativ]

This is quite possibly the best EC tunnel post I've ever encountered. A+. Poop sock comment made my day.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Birthday bump. 240k and 10 earrings.

[Dirt]

Im throwing in a fungi to the mix.

Kav is super cool. Someone give this man some scales!

[zanderklocke]

We're getting close to the price TMO would charge for Trak guts.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Now paying 250k, a fungi tunic, and 10 Shrunken Goblin Skull Earrings.

Also, new song. Listen here: https://youtu.be/Phhx6E4PO14

I Hope She's Got A Human...

I learned long ago not to be picky,
but I can't seem to find my fish in the sea.
She can have a Dark Elf smile and a Gnome's height.
She can have Halfling feet and a Troll's overbite.
But if I'm being perfectly blunt,
I hope she's got a Human...

A Half Elf like me is fine with a mutt.
But even with an open mind, my love's in a rut.
She can have a High Elf tan, a beard of Dwarf length,
a Barbarian's gentle touch, and a Wood Elf's strength
CHORUS

Give her the caboose of an Ogre and Iksar scales,
an Erudite ego and Drolvarg tail!
Give her Froglok eyes and a Goblin grin,
make her Kobold smart and Golem thin.
CHORUS
...heart.

[Maverickkc]

Belated Birthday Bump.

[ThePeoplesBard]

I'm going to Vegas and putting all my plat on red.

Kidding. Well, I am going to Vegas until Sunday, but my plat won't be growing. My offer stands at 250k, a fungi tunic, and 10 clicky earrings.

If some industrious person or guild wants to take all this off my hands, I happen to know Gorenaire's window is from 3:30 PM EST on Sunday 3/19 through 7:30 AM EST on Monday. Good hunting, friends.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Bump.

[Doctor Jeff]

I'm putting all my plat on red.
Cross server trades are no longer permitted.

[Radiants]

He was referring to craps I think

[Sebastionleo]

He was referring to craps I think

And the joke was missed.

[Maverickkc]

A swing and a bump.

[Ravager]

There's fatcats watching this thread with scales waiting for it to go higher and higher. What's the threshold? 300K? 400k? 500k? Who will bite first? Someone better soon, White Scales won't ever go this high again.

[Maner]

There's fatcats watching this thread with scales waiting for it to go higher and higher. What's the threshold? 300K? 400k? 500k? Who will bite first? Someone better soon, White Scales won't ever go this high again.

some one is offering 350k for them just above this post actually

[indiscriminate_hater]

pretty sure it's fake and that guy is just jacking up the expected price before he sells his

[ThePeoplesBard]

I appreciate everyone's concern. The serious parts and the silly parts in my last post were clearly lost on people (my fault as a comedian, I'm sure). My price is standing at 250k, a fungi, and 10 earrings. Firm. For a long while at least. That should be more than enough. For a Main that will actually use it, at least.

[gundanium07]

Bumps

[Mzy12345]

Bump for the people's Bard and thanks for helping me with my Seb key!

[ThePeoplesBard]

Glad you got your key, friend. Let me know if you or your friend ever need another.

I actually won some money in Vegas, but no casinos were paying Scales. Bump.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Bump!

[Shodo]

Somebody find this man a dragon scale! The goblins won't survive this genocide much longer D:

[ThePeoplesBard]

Somebody find this man a dragon scale! The goblins won't survive this genocide much longer D:

I have temporarily paused in my murdering rampage to let them build up their population.

Then I'll return.

Anyone know who got Gore on Sunday/Monday?

[ThePeoplesBard]

What's the fairest item in all the land?

Snow White Dragon Scales.

Bump.

[ThePeoplesBard]

250k, a fungi tunic, and 10 earrings. Let's do this.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Bump.

[ThePeoplesBard]

250k, a fungi tunic, and 10 earrings. Well over a 300k value.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Bump.

[ThePeoplesBard]

I saw Gore yesterday! My crew didn't have the numbers to bring her down, but we sure tried. Again, it was uplifting to even see the beast. First time on the server. Gratz to the FoH/Venerate Bard who got the scale I saw drop.

My offer stands. If it's not enough, let me know what it would take.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Bard Bump!

Listen here: https://youtu.be/f71f7xTVThc

Don't Ever Fry Bacon Naked

When I was a boy of maybe ten,
my father said, "Some day when
you've grown into a man like me,
don't strike a woman, don't pick a fight,
work hard by day, play hard by night,
and don't ever fry bacon naked."

Well, here I am less wise than he,
with a happy wife and no scrapes to see,
but one wicked third degree burn.
I work hard by day, play hard by night,
but my pecker is quite a sight.
Oh, don't ever fry bacon naked!

Now my old man, he drinks too much,
he's hard on cars and their clutch,
but he had this one thing right.
Smoke and gamble, wander, ramble,
fry your eggs or have 'em scrambled,
but don't ever fry bacon naked.

[Maverickkc]

Love the new jam. Bump.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Bump.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Still looking. If I'm not offering enough, PM me what it would take.

[ThePeoplesBard]

Bump.

[ThePeoplesBard]

What does a roast say to elevate its post?

Rump.

[Naethyn]

I support this.

[ThePeoplesBard]

I am happy to say that I am now the proud owner of a Singing Short Sword, and this thread is closed.

Thanks to Stormwulfe (Sezaru) (https://www.project1999.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2505228#post2505228) for selling me his scale, and thanks to all of you who encouraged him to do so.

Thanks to Kluwen, Liia, Innernette, Nybras, Kostbar, and Rilex for donating platinum to my cause. If you'll let me, I will repay the debts as soon as I am able.

Thanks to everyone in <Paradox> for believing in this even when I did not, especially Bunnii, Quenith, and Mandak. And thanks to all of our friends in Vita Infinita, Radiant, and the Hydra Alliance for helping me gun down Trakanon.

Thanks to the people who supported me and made this possible in less visible ways, including Zigili and Nellee who let me loot guts in Skyfire over six months ago and showed up for the Trak kill, Tractable for his Barding wisdom, and the countless people who sent me positive tells.

I'm not sure that I deserved this level of support, but I promise to honor it by being a model member of the server and paying it forward whenever I can. My worthiness aside, a number of people told me it was nice to see the server coming together to do something for someone else, and I am proud to say I instigated that. Pixel collecting is fun; I know this because I just got the pixels I've been desiring for 16 years. But being part of a community is what makes Everquest special. Thanks to everyone who reminded me and the whole server of that with this experience.

To close the loop as only a Bard (and his wife) can, here's part 2 of the song that started this wild adventure:
https://clyp.it/qocpp4rm

Singing Short Sword - Part 2

Why are you in such a good mood?
Let me tell you with a tune.

You want to know why I have a smile on my face:
Is it because my love sends you to outer space?
You want to know why I have a certain glow:
Is it because our special bond grows?
You want to know what I'm so happy for:
Is it me, your wife, that you adore?

No, it's 'cause I have a Singing Short Sword!
And I don't need nothing no more.

http://i.imgur.com/ZsWQMqx.png

[james02222]

Grats buddy!

[Premaximum]

Nobody deserves it more than you. One of the nicest guys I've ever met. Grats.

[sezaru]

my man! Congrats!

[Nybras]

Congrats Kavalier