Abhorrent Guild Names

[d3r14k]

What is the worst / God-awful / despicable / generic / shittiest guild name you've had the displeasure of seeing in brackets above someone's head?

A song on the radio this morning reminded me of a guild back in Live on Druzzil Ro called <Hamhockers>, which is a colloquialism for boobs, I guess. I always pictured these idiots as 12-year-olds who hadn't seen their first pair or ... well ... 40-year-olds who hadn't seen their first pair either.

DESPICABLE!

[Lhancelot]

What is the worst / God-awful / despicable / generic / shittiest guild name you've had the displeasure of seeing in brackets above someone's head?

A song on the radio this morning reminded me of a guild back in Live on Druzzil Ro called <Hamhockers>, which is a colloquialism for boobs, I guess. I always pictured these idiots as 12-year-olds who hadn't seen their first pair or ... well ... 40-year-olds who hadn't seen their first pair either.

DESPICABLE!

I suppose one that I found dumb on p99 was <Super Friends> and I had a pal in this guild, by all accounts it was an awesome guild in it's prime too. I just found the name really juvenile sounding.

I am not fond of <The Second Sons> because of it's direct ripping from GoT.

<Dawn Believers> is highly unimaginative to me.

Now that I think of it, all the low tier guilds have rather blah names.

Newest one I seen is <Corrupted Souls> and I am not fond of that one either.

The best guild names actually seem to be on the top tier raid guilds on the server. I think <Aftermath> and <Awakened> both are cool names.

<Asgard> was a cool name.

Basically all the noob guilds on P99 have crappy or at best average names.

[Lulz~Sect]

I always thought [Holocaust] on red was tacky TBH

[Cecily]

You can't expect everyone to be able to think up super creative names like Lancelot, sorry I mean Lhancelot.

[Zemus]

<Anonymous>

The guild itself has had its ups and downs but the name remains bad.

[Lhancelot]

You can't expect everyone to be able to think up super creative names like Lancelot, sorry I mean Lhancelot.

This name actually was my favorite character's name on WAR, it holds significant sentimental value to me. :)

This name also wasn't created to symbolize a group of people, or to attract possible followers who will join me also calling themselves <Lhancelot>!

Guild names should reflect what the guild is about, or entice potential followers etc. But then again, some of the most powerful and best guilds I seen on MMOs have had outwardly silly names.

<I Like Pie> was a very well-known and successful guild either it was on Zek or RZ I forget now. Silly name, but they were feared.

[stront]

You can't expect everyone to be able to think up super creative names like Lancelot, sorry I mean Lhancelot.

[Nybras]

<Thug Life> fits every description.

[Lhancelot]

<Dial a Dad> and any other guild besides <Dial a Port> with the word DIAL in it is bad.

[kotton05]

< Aftermath > / < awakened > are pretty awful too.... glad both the big zergs tried to out alpha loot each other with their names

[Lhancelot]

< Aftermath > / < awakened > are pretty awful too.... glad both the big zergs tried to out alpha loot each other with their names

<Rustle> is ok, but reminds me of Rustle Wilson and Rustle Westbrook whenever I see the name <Rustle>.

[skarlorn]

Aftermath is actually the best raid guild name.

Second sons is horrible and should be banned.

[mattydef]

Out of the two top guilds I actually like Aftermath, but Awakened is pretty bad. Did they earn that name from constant 3am bat phones or something?

[Check12345]

<Dancing Dick Beaters> still gets my <3

[skarlorn]

Bregan D'Aerth was a terrible guild name because it ruined immersion and was a typo. By the time I joined the guild and figured out what was going on, I solely referred to the guild as Chest Cronies or the People's Republic of Chest. This is a major reason why i ultimately caused bigazz to have a terminal meltdown and induce him to jump off of island four of sky and never log again.

[Check12345]

Sauce of <DDB> for posterity

Try Being a Guide, You…
Yes. This is the stream of profane consciousness that changed my life.

It was originally posted to the Erollissi Marr EZboard, in the springtime of the year 2000, after I’d had a few beers, which I consumed after I worked an eight hour shift as a guide, which I pulled after a regular eight hour workday. And despite having been writing for publication for years, it was the first time I got live feedback for something I’d written. Oh, feedback, you are like delicious creamy heroin to me.

I got mail from CSRs in gaming, outside of gaming, and from around the world. It got me thrown out of my volunteer CSR job. It got me my first paid job in gaming. It led to dozens of writing gigs. It made me friends that I’ve kept to this day. Objectively, it kind of sucks, as writing goes. And now it’s got nostalgia stuck to its fur. But who cares! It was my first rant.

Two notes: First, I chose “Tweety” as my pen name because my grandfather called me his little Tweety Bird. I thought I’d post that one time and never use the ID again, so I didn’t care about making it cool. Note to self: /slap. Second, if you didn’t play EQ? This rant is totally not funny.

Try Being A Guide, You Nutless Assmuncher
Tweety’s first rant

Here’s some background – I’ve been a guide since March. I took a month off in protest of some seriously fucked up guide policies, and a total lack of communciation between VI and their customer service staff. I came back to discover Verant got their shit together, and now it’s the players that suck. Some of you assholes are up way past your bedtime.

Get a clue, pissants – Neither I, nor anyone else breathing actually gives a shit about how so and so stole your orc. Furthermore, no one cares that you lost the roll for whatever piece of crap weapon, because guess what? In five levels that piece of trash will be on your fourth twink and you’ll be complaining about some other l33t weapon. (Note to a_pissant00: DO you know how retarded you sound petitioning over how you were ripped off AFTER YOU ROLLED FOR IT AND LOST? What the fuck do you think I’m going to do? That’s right, genius, I’m going to ask your group TO ROLL FOR THE ITEM. If you already rolled, I’m not going to do anything but ROLL my eyes and curse the malformed sperm that somehow beat out all the healthy ones and created you in some horrible genetic accident.)

Next, the guide rezz. NOBODY over level 20 should be confused or surprised by the incredibly limited powers a guide has. I can rezz you if 1) You zoned into lava, 2) Died due to Verant crashing (not you and your dial up, VERANT), and 3) Died to a confirmed bug. Otherwise, I can’t do it. I would love to, but I can’t. I have died to plenty of un-confirmed bugs myself, I know it sucks, and I still can’t do it. It’s not all about you and how I hate you because you aren’t in an uber guild. Guess what, moron? I DON’T PLAY ON YOUR SERVER. I do not know, nor do I give two shits about the status of the guilds on your server. >Elite Cockjockeys< and >: Lords of Jizz< means exactly the same to me – NOTHING. I rezz every single person I can, because I know exactly how much losing a week’s worth of work to something not my fault sucks. If I don’t rezz you, it isn’t personal. So shut the fuck up about how I would have done it if you were a member of >Dancing Dickbeaters<.

Let’s move on to sending tells to a guide. I logged in tonight to find myself the only guide with count ’em FORTY petitions waiting to be answered. Sorry, Mr. I can’t find my super twinked body and I’m only level 2 and a forty minute walk to my corpse. Not only do people like you disgust me on general principles, but the guy who’s been waiting for three hours stuck on a gate in Permafrost TAKES PRIORITY OVER YOU. Read the rules, dipshit. I take calls by petition, not by your sad sack tell of woe. And cussing at me, screaming at me, and telling me what a rotten person I am makes me accidentally camp out when I finally clear the monster backup and get to your whiny ass. Don’t send me tells, assholes. The ten minutes I end up wasting asking you nicely to send a petition (or if you sent one, the twenty minutes I spend telling you it’s not your turn yet) means that much longer of a wait.

Play nice policies. My personal feelings aside (lay off the wacky weed, Verant), I get to enforce it. Do you know how much I hate you at the end of a long shift? What kind of asshole thinks the king room in Lower Guk can be shared by TWO GROUPS OF 12? Conversely, what kind of screaming cocksucker thinks it’s okay to camp the king room for 36 hours? I think you both suck. The only people lamer than you are the ones that PNP over derv camps in North Ro and then act surprised when I send one group to the DESERTED derv camp a 30 second walk away.

Boats. Hey, Einstein, before you petition me that the boats are broken, do an /ooc and find out when the boat left. If it was two minutes ago, IT’S NOT HERE YET.

Quests. All I have to say to you phat lewt motherfuckers who have wrecked every quest I’ve been involved in is grow up, shut up, go back to Quake or whatever blow shit up video game you came from, and get the fuck away from the quest area. It’s your ten bucks, go somewhere and kill stuff. Why the hell do you feel compelled to ruin the once every blue moon event we have for the seven people (who ALSO pay the ten bucks) who actually want to role play?

Illiterate people. I am NOT talking about the English as a second language kids. I go through those slowly and calmly, and more than once I’ve resorted to typing /ooc Anyone in this zone speak BOTH Japanese and English? By illiterate, I mean you fucking cretins who send me petitions that read “Ur gona get my coprse rezzed, plz.” What the hell am I, psychic? How did you die, where did you die, and so on is stuff I need. If you tell me in a format I can comprehend without calling over my twelve year old neighbor, I will send you a tell that says, “Hang on, let me check out your corpse. Yep, you died to that bug all right. Here’s your rezz. Good luck, friend.” Your fucking cryptic petitions mean ten minutes of agonizingly rotten typing and stupidity that have me wondering where the hell I left my universal translator. Plus, any petition I get in dewdspeak automatically biases me against you. Why? Because it’s the d00ds that are usually trying to snow me, and get something for nothing (like a free rez for a death caused by jumping off a wizard spire with 150 HP), and who feel entitled to absolutely everything.

The only thing more annoying than dewd petitions are the ones that say “Hurp.” When I finally discover that “Hurp” means you were duelling someone named Hurp who promised not to use magic in a duel, and it turned out he had a 49th level cleric HP buff up, and you want me to use the broadcast command to tell the world what a cheater he is, I DON’T CARE ANYMORE.

Scumbags. I may not know who the uberguilds are, but I sure as hell know who the scumbags are. You’re the one who caused a dozen petitions because you were spamming the zone with “So and so is a faggot.” You’re the one who trained all the bouncers to the CT entrance just to fuck with the kids inside trying to escape the lizard train your twin brother created on purpose. You’re the one who backed a female wood elf character into a corner, calling her names and sending her foul tells. You’re the one who tricked the player with poor English skills into believing a trading a GLS for a whatever-piece-of-shit was a good trade because you were giving him a lore item. I know you. Don’t get all fucking bent because I told the GM not to change your name and let you duck your reputation. Don’t be shocked that I never rule in your favor in PNP situations. And don’t waste your time crying to another guide about how I hate you, because there are only six guides on the entire server who show up for work, and we talk.

Speaking of the aforementioned female wood elf and other forms of sexual harassment – there are two sides to this one as well. It happens. It happens a lot. Unsolicited tells, really truly disgusting emotes, and situations in which one lonely knob beater chases a female avatar from West Freeport to Emerald Jungle – it HAPPENS. You people sicken me. That said, I have very little sympathy for the person behind a character named Likkmebrestesses who types /em wants to have some fun with the brawny barbarian! and then complains when said barbarian asks if she’d like to go cyber in the hidden inn. Or my favorite, the gnomes who petition when someone says “You’re the perfect height… for a b…. eer.” Get a sense of humor already. You make it harder for people actually being harassed.

If my little hissy fit keeps ONE SINGLE IDIOT from sending a petition because he’s going to get laughed at, I did something good today. I sure as hell feel better.

[citizen1080]

I ran a guild on Wow for years called <Angst>. I thought it was clever, but a lot of people didn't like it lol.

[Lhancelot]

Anyone else notice GreenGrocerHathReturneth post and immediately get banned? ROFL

GG still raging against the machine

RIP <Nomsanto Industries>

you having delusions of GG I think.

[skarlorn]

no, he's not. Greengrocer just told me about his 10 minute return on discord. Long may he live in the underbelly of our world

[Gozuk]

<Anonymous>

The guild itself has had its ups and downs but the name remains bad.

Brah

[Lulz~Sect]

“So and so is a faggot.”

i swear i remember this rant

[jakerees]

I suppose one that I found dumb on p99 was <Super Friends> and I had a pal in this guild, by all accounts it was an awesome guild in it's prime too. I just found the name really juvenile sounding.

I am not fond of <The Second Sons> because of it's direct ripping from GoT.

<Dawn Believers> is highly unimaginative to me.

Now that I think of it, all the low tier guilds have rather blah names.

Newest one I seen is <Corrupted Souls> and I am not fond of that one either.

The best guild names actually seem to be on the top tier raid guilds on the server. I think <Aftermath> and <Awakened> both are cool names.

<Asgard> was a cool name.

Basically all the noob guilds on P99 have crappy or at best average names.

Begs the question: Are guild names only bad when they are full of noobs? If Aftermath or Awakened with their current rosters was called Dawn Believers or Corrupted Souls, would it be more appealing because they were taking out top end content consistently?

[citizen1080]

Begs the question: Are guild names only bad when they are full of noobs? If Aftermath or Awakened with their current rosters was called Dawn Believers or Corrupted Souls, would it be more appealing because they were taking out top end content consistently?

1/10 jake. Gonna need you to increase drug intake.

[jakerees]

1/10 jake. Gonna need you to increase drug intake.

Yeah i've been leveled off this week while I do some home improvement stuff. Back to the grind next week so i'll double the intake

[citizen1080]

Yeah i've been leveled off this week while I do some home improvement stuff. Back to the grind next week so i'll double the intake

We all appreciate your dedication to excellence.

[Llodd]

<Europa> is pretty bad, talk about stating the obvious.

and then there is <Europa Agnarr>, what were they thinking!

[fastboy21]

<Shinko>

Hands down worst in p99 history.

[Lhancelot]

Begs the question: Are guild names only bad when they are full of noobs? If Aftermath or Awakened with their current rosters was called Dawn Believers or Corrupted Souls, would it be more appealing because they were taking out top end content consistently?

That's actually a valid thought and I have had it myself before...

With that in mind, I don't think <Kittens Who Say Meow> would ever sound awesomely badass even if they were on top of the server.

And... I have thought to myself when seeing a noob guild with a cool name that they had a cool guild name.

Answering your question, I do not think conquering a server makes the guild name sound much better.

Personally I like Aftermath, Awakened, Asgard, Inglourious Basterds (even though it was ripped from a great movie it still aesthetically appealed to my eyes).

On the PVP servers I recall <Raging Rainbows>, <I Like Pie>, <Nine Daggers of Death>, <Flowers of Happiness>, <Ruin>, <Black Crown>, <Nine> which had some gnome rogue named Herb that kicked everyone's ass, <Curse> only PVP guild on Zek that player killed anybody and said fuck anti-PVP guilds/players, <Destiny of Zek> which had a bard named Sadko and some cunt barb shaman that lead DOZ, <Black Prophecy>, <Tides of Wrath>, and that's all that came to me just now that was so many years ago. :)

[Legday]

<Asgard> was a cool name.

[aaezil]

aftermath both most despicable in name choice but also in actions/reputation

[Shrubwise]

Saw one on Agnarr called <Come Honor Face>, not clever or funny 0/10

[vorpal_raddish]

<Vesica Dei>, RIP

[Barm McLir]

<Dial a Dad> and any other guild besides <Dial a Port> with the word DIAL in it is bad.

Agreed. Seems like a desperate plea for attention. Is trolling people looking for ports funny? I don't get it. :confused:

Back on the Alleria WoW server we had <Me So Hordey>. Awful but it made me laugh.

[Kaino]

Planet Piss or Airtight Granny on red are my recommendations

[mefdinkins]

Aftermath reminds me of Doctor Dre.
Awakened reminds me that I'll never get a gnome mask.
Didn't know what BDA was.

On Erollisi Marr I liked Midnight Sojourn.

Look at WOW guild names -

1 Limit (r)
2 Easy (r)
3 Honestly
4 Ego (r)
5 Alacrity (r)
6 Big Dumb Guild (r)
7 vodkaz (r)
8 Encore (r)
9 WHATEVER WERE AWESOME
10 DNO
11 AK
12 Midwinter
13 Strawberry Puppy KISSES
14 Instant Dollars
15 Parse Culture
16 Gulch Trotters
17 Scared of the Dark
18 Visionz
19 Infinity
20 TF

[Raavak]

<Vesica Dei>, RIPI love how that was an 'oops' with a translator. (My first guild btw). What's it mean? Bladder of God? I think they were trying for 'Blade of God' with a Google translator or something.

[Lhancelot]

Awakened reminds me that I'll never get a gnome mask.


Not true. Franswa will sell his gnome mask for the right price.

[Visual]

I know this thread isn't about favorites but I always liked <Gank You Very Much> from my world of warcraft server

[deezy]

Live on Druzzil Ro

<Hoss>
<Phank>
<Novus Invictus>
<Mythic Legion>
<Seekers of Norrath>
<Honed>
<Rutabaga Paradox>
<Evening Reign>
<Europa>
<Valiant Elite>
<L`Malla>
<Imperial Guard>
<Gens Antiquus>
<Veneration X>
<Pravus Mortis>
<Strangebrew>
<Insomnia Reborn>
<The People of Weeple>

I just listed off a bunch of despicable names from my live server.

[Rygar]

Soooo no one mentions <Blood Guard>? It's an ode to a maxi pad for Christ's sake!

[Zoggren]

<Silent Revenge> - A guild named after a fart. 'Nuff said.

[kaev]

With that in mind, I don't think <Kittens Who Say Meow> would ever sound awesomely badass even if they were on top of the server.


<Kittens Who Say Meow> is a cleverly named guild full of reasonably decent people, the overwhelming majority of whom are sane enough to have no interest in being the very special sort of nerds who inspire laughter and mockery by styling themselves as "awesomely badass".

<Aftermath> and <Awakened> are definitely amongst the least imaginative guildnames p99 has seen, which certainly qualifies them as crap. Not sure if boring and unimaginative are sufficient to rate the abhorrent tag, but I'm open to argument on the subject.

[Lhancelot]

<Kittens Who Say Meow> is a cleverly named guild full of reasonably decent people, the overwhelming majority of whom are sane enough to have no interest in being the very special sort of nerds who inspire laughter and mockery by styling themselves as "awesomely badass".

<Aftermath> and <Awakened> are definitely amongst the least imaginative guildnames p99 has seen, which certainly qualifies them as crap. Not sure if boring and unimaginative are sufficient to rate the abhorrent tag, but I'm open to argument on the subject.

All Kittens seem decent in game. Many very nice players are in Kittens. I think their ball gag on forums by their GL is ridiculous, but that's not their fault.

This thread wasn't insulting anyone in any particular guilds, it was simply made to discuss names and <Kittens Who Say Meow> in itself is a rip from an older guild, <Knights Who Say Ni> so that's one reason I dislike the guild tag. The letters simply are not aesthetically appealing when you read the words over a players head. It looks clunky.

This is coming from someone that loves cats btw. :)

<Aftermath> and <Awakened> looks smooth on the toon in the game, not too big and not too distracting and the words are appealing to say off the tongue. Both names also illicit deeper meaning and thoughts. Sure, they aren't thought provokingly imaginative to the point of blowing a mind, but they are nice enough and can mean different things.

I always liked <Nine> on SZ because the tag was relatively small, and gave them an evil connotation for some reason, in my eyes anyway.

[deezy]

https://i.imgur.com/sh2Qs3d.gif

Every member in the guild changed their surname to Weeple. It was despicable.

[Danth]

All Kittens seem decent in game. Many very nice players are in Kittens. I think their ball gag on forums by their GL is ridiculous, but that's not their fault.

They have an anti-forum rule? Nobody told me. Granted, even if someone told me I'd ignore it anyhow.

Ordinary guild names usually suit me fine since most guilds are basically the same as the next anyway. The exception here are the many latin or pseudo-latin guild names out there, which I regard as cliché to the point of ridiculous.

Danth

[Tiax]

Transatlantic Rampage

[kempoguy80]

They have an anti-forum rule? Nobody told me. Granted, even if someone told me I'd ignore it anyhow.

Ordinary guild names usually suit me fine since most guilds are basically the same as the next anyway. The exception here are the many latin or pseudo-latin guild names out there, which I regard as cliché to the point of ridiculous.

Danth

Nah spacepope asks kittens to try not to cause inter guild drama on rnf, as in don't post what you say is a guild position on an issue, but say whatever you like as a person.

[Lhancelot]

Ordinary guild names usually suit me fine since most guilds are basically the same as the next anyway. The exception here are the many latin or pseudo-latin guild names out there, which I regard as cliché to the point of ridiculous.

Danth

I agree latin guild names usually irk me. However! My favorite guild of all time was a PVP guild on EQ2 called <Ad Infinitum> (to infinity) and this guild rocked.

***Probably the most fun I ever had with a group of players on a MMO until the GL decided to leave and go to Vanguard basically ruining the guild leaving no one with leadership. Damn you Rushmore!

[Kaino]

Transatlantic Rampage

sounds like a monopoly property:p

[Frighteous]

Kittens Who Say Meow never made sense to me but the people seem top,

[Frighteous]

<Cypher> was my old guild on Stromm. Always thought that name rolled off the tongue rather nicely..

[Shrubwise]

Kittens Who Say Meow never made sense to me but the people seem top,

It’s a knock off of <Knights Who Say Ni>, perhaps they merged but I can’t say for certain.

[Ralph_Wiggum]

<Socks and Sweaters> is a fantastic guild name.

[Twochain]

<Soliloquy Of Chaos>

/thread

Bonus points for
<Peace Pipe>

[Phenyo]

Soooo no one mentions <Blood Guard>? It's an ode to a maxi pad for Christ's sake!

This, i refer to them as team tampon

[Rivera]

It’s a knock off of <Knights Who Say Ni>, perhaps they merged but I can’t say for certain. don't think they did... pretty sure knights just slowly dissolved.

my first interaction on this server with another player was from knights who say ni - was a good one too.

[Shrubwise]

Bonus points for
<Peace Pipe>

Wow, throwing it way back to the early days with Peace Pipe.

[Lulz~Sect]

peace pipe sounds cool

you guys are too harsh

[Geomance22]

peace pipe was great guild until toop went full retard using showeq trying to steal info from p99 to build his own dogshit server

[Lulz~Sect]

oh

i thought we were talking about names not actions

yikeS

[Gozuk]

<Rustle>
<Clue>
<Venerate>

Some bad ones from P99 imo

[Lulz~Sect]

stern cringe tier 4sure

[Lhancelot]

<Clue> is boring.

New guild, I hate adding it but... <Blue Republic>

I wish you guys well, I like Amsterdam he is a cool dude but this guild name is meh. Reminds me of SWTOR guild names. Any guild with the word "Republic" in it is viewed as bad there and it's no different here. :(