old player stories

[lctucker2999]

I know it's a long shot, but does anyone happen to remember a play story from around 2000-2001 I think it may have been posted on everlore. Basically is was the random adventures of some noob, with some pretty funny commentary (at least I remember it being funny back then).

For example, he went up to a dervish cutthroat in WC thinking it was another player and tried to strike up a conversation. Or when someone called out a train, he was like wtf... this is a fantasy game there's no trains here.

Anyway I don't even know if I'm remembering it right, let alone if anyone would be able to recognize what I'm referring to and point me in the right direction. For now I'll just be using wayback machine and clicking on random stories hoping to get lucky.

[Suwu]

I know it's a long shot, but does anyone happen to remember a play story from around 2000-2001 I think it may have been posted on everlore. Basically is was the random adventures of some noob, with some pretty funny commentary (at least I remember it being funny back then).

For example, he went up to a dervish cutthroat in WC thinking it was another player and tried to strike up a conversation. Or when someone called out a train, he was like wtf... this is a fantasy game there's no trains here.

Anyway I don't even know if I'm remembering it right, let alone if anyone would be able to recognize what I'm referring to and point me in the right direction. For now I'll just be using wayback machine and clicking on random stories hoping to get lucky.

search skater gnome

[Evia]

Yeah sounds like sk8ter gnome!! He was on eq.castersrealm.com

I loved that guy!

[lctucker2999]

Thanks the one lol wow thanks! This will give me something to do at work since it's slow as hell this week.

[Grimmskld]

BRAVE BRAVE ME, by Skater Gnome

August 6, 2002

well i did it again. i ran over to commons west side (the
scary side) to try to hunt some things
anyway im running around getting losk and i see this guy named
dervish walking slow

so i run up to him and hail him and he ignores me but im used
to that here in commons west. so he keeps walking an i keep
hailing him but still getting ignored

so im like 'dude i was going to help you and tell you how to
turn on run so you can get
places faster but now i wont, haha'

and he STILL ignores me.

so i say 'dude you think your tough but i fought 4 lvl 59s
yesterday and lived'

well now im mad cause hes ignoring me and keeps walking but i
see hes wearing no gear and im going to teach him a lesson

so i attack him and i cant hit him that hard but he sure is
beating me up fast and suddenly like 10 of his friends all run
out to help him

but check this out. suddenly i see their exploiting cause ALL
OF THEM ARE NAEMED THE SAME THING

so im shouting 'dervish your a cheater you expoiter!!'

and now im almost dead and suddenly im at full health and i
turn around and its this elf guy behind me and he says 'need
some help?'

finally someones talking to me so i tell him that he can run
faster by clicking the "WALK" button at the bottom of the
screen.

and hes like 'huh?'

and i said 'i tried to tell dervish but that punk wouldn't
listen'

well wouldnt you believe it the elf guy starts to do speels on
me too, just like the meen ppl from yesterday

and elfguy says 'you better run'

and i say 'im not scared of you'

and he says 'huh?'

and i say 'im a lvl 5 monk, haha, whats up now? YOU better run'

and he just stands there

and then he says 'n00b' and leaves.

and i shout at him WTF is a n00b im a MONK ARE YOU DEAF!!>??

and this dervish guys is beating me up bad now that elf guy
left so i run and and im faster and dervish is following me
with his band of cheaters. well i see another group killing
some stuff, so i run over there and say 'hey wanna help me
kill some exploiters?'

and then dervish run up to me with his dirty no good friends
and kills me quick

so i died come back in freeport east and suddenly im getting
all these tells

sakan tells you 'dude thanks for the train, n00b'

OMG WTF???

so im like 'sakan wtf are you dumb this is fantasy, no trains
in EQ'

then..

critol tells me 'you are a total n00b dude'

WTF??

so now im wondering if n00b is like a nice name for a monk, or
something cause i hear it alot.

anyway im staying awayt frum common west side forever unless
nicer people play there

[Evia]

A Turn for the Worse by Skater Gnome


ok like yesterday was my first day back at hom from camp and it was very exciting

so like i get off the bus and my mom and dad are waiting on the steps and smiling and waving at me and its all like a kodak moment and stuff

so like i give my mom a hug but not my dad cause thats gross and my dads liek 'we have a present for you sun'

and im liek 'OMG IS IT ICE CREAM??'

and their like 'no'

and i'm all /glare

and so my dad hands me this box all wraped up and i tear it open and im all /giggle

and i get it open and OMG its all the eq action figures!!

and im like 'omg u guys are SO the rulest'

so i run upstairs to my room and im getting them all set up and forming little groups and to make it fair i put all of them against the monk

so like my brother walks in and hes like 'having fun playing with your dolls?'

and im like 'stfu dude theyr not dolls their action figures'

and hes liek 'ya kep playing with them and i guerentee thats the only action you'll ever get'

so I thought he was being mean but then he came over and I showed him all the figures and my favorite one was the big ogre with just one eye in the center of his head

so my phone rings and its j-mo and i'm like 'hello'

and hes like 'hey what r u doing'

and im like 'im playing with my one-eyed ogre'

and hes like 'omg dude wtf dont tell me gay stuff like that'

and im like 'wtf dude its not gay my brother likes it too'

and j-mos liek '*click*'

and i call him back and im like 'dude wtf'

and hes like 'dude wtf'

and im liek 'huh?'

and hes like 'forget it. come down to the skate park theres some new guys here that are trying to be cooler than us'

and im liek 'is that possible?'

and hes like 'i dont think so'

so i put away all the dolls, i mean action figures, but i wanted to take the one-eyed ogre with me to show j-mo

so i put on my cool-jeans and grab my board and head down to the park

so im walking up to the ramp and j-mo is liek' why are you walking like that?'

and im like 'this is my gangster stroll'

and hes like 'wtf its that??'

and im liek 'i dunno i saw it on tv but it makes me look cool'

and hes like 'no it doesnt stop doing it'

so that was the end of that

so were looking at these guys skating and they come skating over to us and theyre like 'you guys get lost ur not cool enough to skate here'

and im like 'omg dude we define cool we are even cooler than manaburn'

and j-mo is liek 'ya and manaburn is pretty damm cool'

and im all /agree

and theyre like 'we challenge you to a skate-off then'

and im liek 'you have ruined your own lands you will not ruin mine. your on'

so i decide to go against their best skater and we flip a coin and i have to go first

so i start skating and i skate reel good and everyones cheering and i finish and im like 'ahh, i feel much better now, n00b skater'

so its their skaters turn to go now and he starts his run and hes skating and im liek 'omg this guy is reely reely good'

so im thinking were gonna lose and that sux so im thinking how i can distract him so he messes up

so then i remember i have the ogre in my pants. so i wait till he skates close to me and suddenly i reach into my jeans and start pulling the monstor out and im like 'fear the one-eyed ogre, b!tch!!1!'

and he looks at me pulling my ogre outta my pants and hes like 'AHHH!!1! and he falls down and his crew is like 'omg dude wtf lets get outta here'

and they grab their boards and take off

and j-mo is like 'ohhhh, you literally DO have a one-eyed ogre. dude i think thats called ancient cyclops'

and im liek 'whatever'

and hes like 'and just why, exactly did you feel the need to keep it in your pants?'

and im liek 'it wouldnt fit in my pocket'

and he like 'oh. well it worked the poser skaters left'

and im like 'ya looks liek everyone else left too'

so liek the battle was won and the skater park was ours to rule once again

[Jlpstrtkng]

Do you all remember that show on G4TV that used to use Everquest characters for comedy skits. They basically created Trevor from GTA 5 before GTA 5

[mickmoranis]

Loooved sk8trgnome

Also Fancy the Famous Bard is an amazing read

[tsuchang]

I thought of this one
http://thenoobcomic.com/comic/1/
There was another on top web comics about eq characters. There was a monk named smoke, an iksar, some wood elves. It was fun too.

[Cen]

Im not going to name this one person in the story because of some bad stuff that happened recently, but I used to play on Rallos Zek and Sullon Zek. I was in a few larger pvp guilds but before then I was by myself. on RZ, I would collect no drop plate and was playing as a paladin. This one guy I met one day was a huge shit talker and he was a low level pvper playing as a level 12 wizard. We always had fights where he wouldnt kill me but I couldnt kill him either before someone got away. One time I plugged and came back 8 hours later to him standing at the zone to meet me. We fought for days in this slow battle but never killed each other. I got bored of my paladin.

I made a rogue, and eventually one day ran into this guy again, but I had a different name. He was starting up a pvp guild so I joined it with the intent of double crossing him when I saw him wearing an expensive item and was vunerable. Eventually on one of our little group attacks on newbies around blackburrow and qeynos hills, I was alone with him, he was low hp, and taking clothes off. I then backstabbed him and stole his robe of the oracle. He was like wtf was that, and I told him I FINALLY GOT YOU ITS ME and my characters name. He was pissed as hell.

I left his guild, and joined Flowers of Happiness, and continued to battle him with my rogue. We did kill each other a bunch then but the slow buildup at first was pretty fun. The guy referenced above, Fansy, had a bard and also a wizard I would group with on the RZ side of things. One of the greatest slaughters was when I joined them and we had a mini war against the other guys small guild. Fansy was with me when we whooped ass.

Eventually, I made a necro which ended up being my last RZ character and my highest main. The dude I had a fued with decided to go past 12. I met up with him when we were both around 39.. and again he invited me to his guild but then saw I was FoH tagged. I didn't even try to be tricky with him. I told him who I was.. but it had been months since we encountered each other, and he asked to join forces with me to kill people, so we did. It was cool :D

I accidentally bumped into the guy, who happened to be using his ridiculous name over 14 years later in another game, and we added each other on facebook. Then he started trying to sell me on his religion, I declined, and he blocked me. That was fun :P We had a rocky life together on everquest and real life.



On Sullon Zek, again I was with Flowers. Everyone knows Fansy of course. He was a Half elf bard at first, but then he rerolled Vah Shir during luclin era. I did most of my group exploits with him when he decided to go past level 5 of course, after the sand giant training ordeal. The funny thing is, he never stopped being what I consider mosquito annoying. Fansy liked to be a goofy kind of annoying. He wasn't a bad guy at all. He got us all shouting GO GO GOOD TEAM as we inevitably were always outnumbered by the rediculously large evil diety team.

[Swish2]

www.everlore.com is viewable on web.archive.org - the comments section on some quests/NPCs is entertainment in itself :)

[Evia]

Im not going to name this one person in the story because of some bad stuff that happened recently, but I used to play on Rallos Zek and Sullon Zek. I was in a few larger pvp guilds but before then I was by myself. on RZ, I would collect no drop plate and was playing as a paladin. This one guy I met one day was a huge shit talker and he was a low level pvper playing as a level 12 wizard. We always had fights where he wouldnt kill me but I couldnt kill him either before someone got away. One time I plugged and came back 8 hours later to him standing at the zone to meet me. We fought for days in this slow battle but never killed each other. I got bored of my paladin.

I made a rogue, and eventually one day ran into this guy again, but I had a different name. He was starting up a pvp guild so I joined it with the intent of double crossing him when I saw him wearing an expensive item and was vunerable. Eventually on one of our little group attacks on newbies around blackburrow and qeynos hills, I was alone with him, he was low hp, and taking clothes off. I then backstabbed him and stole his robe of the oracle. He was like wtf was that, and I told him I FINALLY GOT YOU ITS ME and my characters name. He was pissed as hell.

I left his guild, and joined Flowers of Happiness, and continued to battle him with my rogue. We did kill each other a bunch then but the slow buildup at first was pretty fun. The guy referenced above, Fansy, had a bard and also a wizard I would group with on the RZ side of things. One of the greatest slaughters was when I joined them and we had a mini war against the other guys small guild. Fansy was with me when we whooped ass.

Eventually, I made a necro which ended up being my last RZ character and my highest main. The dude I had a fued with decided to go past 12. I met up with him when we were both around 39.. and again he invited me to his guild but then saw I was FoH tagged. I didn't even try to be tricky with him. I told him who I was.. but it had been months since we encountered each other, and he asked to join forces with me to kill people, so we did. It was cool :D

I accidentally bumped into the guy, who happened to be using his ridiculous name over 14 years later in another game, and we added each other on facebook. Then he started trying to sell me on his religion, I declined, and he blocked me. That was fun :P We had a rocky life together on everquest and real life.



On Sullon Zek, again I was with Flowers. Everyone knows Fansy of course. He was a Half elf bard at first, but then he rerolled Vah Shir during luclin era. I did most of my group exploits with him when he decided to go past level 5 of course, after the sand giant training ordeal. The funny thing is, he never stopped being what I consider mosquito annoying. Fansy liked to be a goofy kind of annoying. He wasn't a bad guy at all. He got us all shouting GO GO GOOD TEAM as we inevitably were always outnumbered by the rediculously large evil diety team.


Cool story!