The Rules of Sex

[Ruinous]

Re-posting this from here (http://www.dsmtuners.com/forums/hangout/385919-rules-sex.html) ... a bit lengthy but worth every minute spent reading it for the lulz and truth within.


And now for a guy's perspective... DONT FUCKING ACT LIKE WE ARE THE ONES RESPONSIBLE FOR BAD SEX! If you want foreplay, youd damn well better give some back. Oh, so youre gonna bitch about how youre not getting enough? Then we can just forget it entirely and go jerk off. Fact 98% of men masturbate, the other 2% are compulsive liars. Only 48% of women masturbate. Well, if youre in that 52% percent, looks like you arent going to get shit and Im going to take a nice long shower and still come back just as dirty as I was when I went in.

Oh, you want some fucking post-nut-snuggling? Then fucking earn it. Dont act like we should lie there and wait in bed while you go to the bathroom and clean up. Fuck that, Ill be outside smoking if you need me.

You want us to go down on you? Then give us some response. Dont lie there like nothings going on and then complain about it to your girlfriends the next day. Guys need instruction, and more often then not, they like to be told what to do. Dont act like we dont do anything when youre going down on us. Theres only one way to fuck a blowjob up. And if you arent biting my shit, then youre doing it right. And use some fucking hands! Christ, it doesnt feel as good if youre only going to suck on the top 3 inches and not gonna do anything about the rest. NEWS FLASH: THERES MORE COCK THERE! DONT LET IT GO TO WASTE!!!

And if I take your hand and put it on it for you, thats a hint godammit. Dont take it as a sign that Im trying to tell you how to do your job. Because when you scream for me to spank you harder, I fucking spank you harder, I dont get all pissy and say "Hey! Whos the one givin you the fuck? Me or you?". If you dont like it, expect to hear the shower running for the next 20 minutes or so.

If I put my hand on the back of your head while youre huffing my dong, it doesnt mean that I want you to go deeper. The last thing I want is someone to vomit all over my shit, so Im not going to force that on you. Its just something guys do. Girls like to complain, guys like to put their hand on your head while youre going down. It also prevents us from clapping, snapping our fingers if we get bored, and making the "touchdown" signal.

If you want to just have a makeout session, thats fine by me. Just dont get offended when the shower starts running.

You wanna bitch about swallowing? Go fuck yourself. When we go downtown, you dont hear us spitting on a towel every 5 seconds, and we damn well dont complain about it.

The reason we dont like to try any of your new shit in bed, is because your new ideas fucking suck. Unless they involve another girl or your twin sister, look for me in the shower.

You say you wanna try a threesome? Hoo-fucking-ray. You bust out this idea of picking up some guy, thats fine. I can be cool with that. He can cum in your pussy for all I care. Just take note of the fact that Im breakin out the footlong rubber fist and it looks like the front door is occupied so Im gonna have to go around back.

Oh, but you wont let me stick anything in your ass without letting you put something in mine? Fuck that, not gonna happen. The boys are the pitchers, not the girls. Oh, so now youre gonna be whiny about how I can do it to you but you cant do it to me? Thats fine, you can whine through the bathroom door and hope I can hear with the water running.

You wanna tie me up? Okay, Im leavin one hand free and my best friend gets to wait in the closet with a bat. When you hear the word "popcorn", start fuckin running. I saw Basic Instinct, I know what the fuck is up. You want me to tie you up? Kickass! Just keep in mind that this may be my one chance to cum all over your face. And Im damn well not going to pass that up.

Another thing, guys dont like wearing condoms. Oh, and you think you can make a lame comeback about how we shouldnt say that theyre tight, and you can put both hands in one? Well, have you ever put both hands in one? Its fucking tight isnt it? And my penis isnt filled with bone, so its got no support. And you cant fucking feel anything while we are in there. If I gotta wear one, there better be a damn good finish in the form of your mouth on my wang. Oh, but my pecker will taste like a condom, well you should have fucking thought about that before you made me wear one.

If you have sex with us. We ARE going to tell our friends about it within the next 24 hours, and Im going to throw in all the nasty details, epecially the part about you like to call me "daddy" and want office supplies stuck inside your snatch. Feel free to tell your friends about what we did. Just remember, youre the one that likes the feel of a cold stapler.

If the TV is on while we are goin at it, dont be suprised if you catch me watching. Especially if you wont let me put my hand on your head. Guys have this rule of thumb: keep the remote within arms length at all times. Besides, its time for the Simpsons.

And dont fucking complain if my socks are on while we are gettin it on. Its a bit hard to take them off while trying to suck on your tits. And besides, if we break eye contact, you take it as a sign that Im picturing someone else in bed.

As for the picturing someone else in bed, we probably are. Most likely its your sister, or your cute friend. But sometimes its some girl we saw at the mall who passed by. Sex after the first time with a girl is usually the same thing over and over again, which is usually why you complain that we dont "keep you in suspense" or some lame Oprah-excuse like that because we fucking used our entire repitoire on you the first night. We wanna make a good first impression. So we picture other girls to keep us entertained. Better than finding out youve been cheated on. Remember, unless they involve your twin sister, your ideas suck.

Another tip. I have balls too. And they feel just as good when you lick on them as when you lick my shaft. Remember what I said about the hand? Yeah, theres balls down there too. They may get cold, so do me a favor and put them in your mouth.

You know, sometimes we dont feel like having sex, but we still wanna blowjob. And yall will sometimes give us said blowjob. Wanna know why we ask for a blowjob when we arent in the mood? Because we dont wanna fuckin hear you bitch about us not bein in the mood. The fact that we are about to jizz in your mouth is just an added bonus because we didnt have to put up with taking time out of our day to get your clothes off you in a seductive manner.

Wanna know who invented skirts? Yeah, thats right, a fucking guy. Wanna know why? Its one less article of clothing we have to get through to get our cocks wet. We like short skirts because its even less work.

Bras? Yeah, us too. Face it, guys dont like droopy boobs. We dont like taking bras off because we are afraid of those motherfuckers dropping like bricks and deadlegging us. Gotta have a free hand to intercept.

If you know how to put a condom on with your teeth, and youre our girlfriend and not casual sex or a fling, dont fucking show us. It looks like it takes alot of practice and I dont find it appealing to know my tongue has been where 37 other guys cocks have been before me.

And dont fucking tell us what so and so or your ex boyfriend would do in bed for you before. We have no interest in it, and as far as we are concerned, we are your firsts.

Any questions?


...discuss...

[Ruinous]

Oh, and inb4 tl;dr kiddies that don't have an attention span nor intelligence sufficient to make it past the first 3 sentences.

[Falisaty]

lol to funny good read.... +1 rep

[MelxDruid]

+1 rep, very funny.

[senna]

My gf told me to do whatever I wanted tonight, so I put it in her ass.

Then she screamed at me.

Fucking bitches.

[Mcbard]

tl;dr

[Japan]

tl;dr

clearly that i don't choose slog through 3 pages of unfunny chainmail material is indicative of my lack of intelligence and attention span

[Ruinous]

tl;dr

clearly that i don't choose slog through 3 pages of unfunny chainmail material is indicative of my lack of intelligence and attention span

Choosing to come post that it's tl;dr is, however, indicative of how terribly fucking ignorant you are. That's okay, because at least the people that have a reading comprehension over that of a 3rd grader found humor in it.

Mission accomplished, bitch.

[dredge]

I need a new Girl friend, mine doesn't even do half the things this guy is bitching about. :mad:

[Dravingar]

Check out my funny picture guys !

[deathgirl]

can't tell if troll or just extremely buttsore asshole

[SUSUGAM]

sounds like a broheim'in fucking broski bro

so does the bro who re-posted it

[Ruinous]

sounds like a broheim'in fucking broski bro

so does the bro who re-posted it

Take a deep breath. Concentrate real hard. Try again in English.

[Ruinous]

can't tell if troll or just extremely buttsore asshole

Can't tell if no sense of humor, low self-esteem'd female that wants to take everything in the post to heart..... oh wait. I bet you're guilty of some of this ;)

[deathgirl]

Can't tell if no sense of humor, low self-esteem'd female that wants to take everything in the post to heart..... oh wait. I bet you're guilty of some of this ;)

nah bro. I already assumed all men were just as the first post describes. I thought they were all heartless would-be rapists who would always want to fuck that girl in the mall more than their gf. but then suddenly, the most decent guy appeared out of nowhere and I try my best to meet all his needs :cool:

[SUSUGAM]

Take a deep breath. Concentrate real hard. Try again in English.

"Really hard." Not "Real hard." Adverb, sir. English. Congratulations on sounding like a hillbilly. Next time don't use such brotesque language, Brofessor.

[Ruinous]

"Really hard." Not "Real hard." Adverb, sir. English. Congratulations on sounding like a hillbilly. Next time don't use such brotesque language, Brofessor.

Oh shit, busting out some retard-infested bro-speak and grammar policing in the same thread. Shit just got as real as your lack of a sense of humor, brah. Lololol.

Kindly remove the stick from your gaping anus before it's swallowed and eternally lost, you cunt.

[karsten]

dravingar already ended this thread

[Ruinous]

nah bro. I already assumed all men were just as the first post describes. I thought they were all heartless would-be rapists who would always want to fuck that girl in the mall more than their gf. but then suddenly, the most decent guy appeared out of nowhere and I try my best to meet all his needs :cool:

Seeing as you found no humor in what was meant to be a funny re-post. I'm guessing it touched upon your self-conscious, delicate sensibilities which gives you the same view of men as you stated having interpreted the author being.

Oh, and I'll give you a hint: He may say he doesn't ever think about other women. You may even believe it. But you're naive and he's lying.

Sex is a healthy part of any relationship, and if you couldn't take the post for what it is, you're doing it wrong~ (Evident from your avatar in which you fantasize being a busty-chested fantasy character in a game and forums populated with probably 85% + males... that doesn't speak towards your escapism from real life at all)

[Ruinous]

Claiming the tag "young forum psychologist" for myself, suckers.

[deathgirl]

Seeing as you found no humor in what was meant to be a funny re-post. I'm guessing it touched upon your self-conscious, delicate sensibilities which gives you the same view of men as you stated having interpreted the author being.

Oh, and I'll give you a hint: He may say he doesn't ever think about other women. You may even believe it. But you're naive and he's lying.

Sex is a healthy part of any relationship, and if you couldn't take the post for what it is, you're doing it wrong~ (Evident from your avatar in which you fantasize being a busty-chested fantasy character in a game and forums populated with probably 85% + males... that doesn't speak towards your escapism from real life at all)

Lmao, you're telling me I indulge in escapism and have 'delicate sensibilities' like it's news to me. freshman's first psyche class? I chose my avatar in a fit of idiotic irony, for what it's worth.
I just don't get why you denounce me for escapism and still call me naive =\ if I was naive, there would be no need for escapism, duh.

btw, great job on calling my fiancée a cunt. a scintillating comeback.

[SUSUGAM]

u mad

[SUSUGAM]

Oh shit, busting out some retard-infested bro-speak and grammar policing in the same thread. Shit just got as real as your lack of a sense of humor, brah. Lololol.

Kindly remove the stick from your gaping anus before it's swallowed and eternally lost, you cunt.

broz, i was in this thread today on p99 forums lol and i totally told this guy to learn english cause i cant understand slang so like then he said some nerd shit about my english lol so i called him a cunt and said vulgar shit at him lol it was awesome he totally doesnt understand my hilarious posts cause anyone who understands it would know its funny as shit lol

[Erasong]

The post is a joke. Some people need to calm down. Men have to deal with female comedians crackin jokes at our expense all the time but when there's a joke like this its sexist or just some "asshole guy thing".

[dredge]

<iframe width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/N24fVEJyQKM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Ruinous]

broz, i was in this thread today on p99 forums lol and i totally told this guy to learn english cause i cant understand slang so like then he said some nerd shit about my english lol so i called him a cunt and said vulgar shit at him lol it was awesome he totally doesnt understand my hilarious posts cause anyone who understands it would know its funny as shit lol

Keep trying buddy. "P99 trollin' skillz" is a completely legitimate relationship skill for real. I'm sure it's impressive to another insecure, humorless, socially rejected MMO player. So, you have that going for you anyways.

And you're still on about a grammar mistake. There's quite a bit of difference, you silly twat, in that I didn't have to make up words such as eight variants of "bro" to insult you. Keep acting like you've got ground to stand on over using "real" vs. "really" at three in the morning though.


And OH MY GOD....


I see what u did thar.

But seriously, when a fetus is developing, the amount of cells spent developing the sexual drive and organs in a man is directly proportionate to what is not spent developing emotional and general intelligence. This is reinforced throughout life, since the time you spend convincing dumb bitches to touch your organs is directly proportionate to the time you don't spend developing your general acuity. See the figure below for evidence.

http://asset.soup.io/asset/1063/1980_a56e.gif

THAT'S SO NOT FUNNY YOU SEXIST PIG. I HAVE NO HUMOR AND I AM NOT SURE IF YOU'RE TROLLING OR JUST A DEJECTED, WORTHLESS BITCH IRL.

[Ruinous]

*dons his Sherlock Holmes cap*

my shirt's cooler ￣ー￣
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/_SVSJwscTVTc/TaZe-D058bI/AAAAAAAAAP0/3waZfdVStpk/12.jpg


Dun dun DUNN....

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=523705646

THE PLOT THICKENS

[SlankyLanky]

this thread sucks more cock then i do.

[Salty]

double down

[deathgirl]

*dons his Sherlock Holmes cap*




Dun dun DUNN....

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=523705646

THE PLOT THICKENS


ಠ⌣_ಠ

I found your site too omg I'm so good at the internet gaise!

http://www.ulillillia.us/aboutme/home.shtml

[Pico]

another stellar thread by forum poster ruinous

[Prince]

*dons his Sherlock Holmes cap*




Dun dun DUNN....

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=523705646

THE PLOT THICKENS


damn who's dat??? id slip it in np

[xshayla701]

Dun dun DUNN....

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=523705646

THE PLOT THICKENS

hahaha wut

[Japan]

high school clique in my r&f
:(

[Ihealyou]

You can be in my clique, Japan.

[Bodeanicus]

There's only one rule: make sure she gets a nut before you do.

[Dweed]

not in the champagne room

[Ruinous]

ಠ⌣_ಠ

I found your site too omg I'm so good at the internet gaise!

http://www.ulillillia.us/aboutme/home.shtml



.........

I'm still trying to figure out why that guy is rocking 3 tins of Altoids on his keyboard in the 2nd picture down. And 3 more on the shelf next to that.

I think I've become clinically depressed just by reading through that guy's life. Thanks a lot.

[Ruinous]

another stellar thread by forum poster ruinous

U mad bro. Totally and utterly mad.

[Ennoia]

Pure. Fucking. Gold.

[Ennoia]

.........

I'm still trying to figure out why that guy is rocking 3 tins of Altoids on his keyboard in the 2nd picture down. And 3 more on the shelf next to that.

I think I've become clinically depressed just by reading through that guy's life. Thanks a lot.

...check the fuckin shelf full of generic brand vitamin water...and who the FUCK actually owns a globe? Ya know what...dude's probly smarter than everyone on this site except for Stairs. He's got shit on his site that I didn't even know existed...when the fuck did they start putting letters in with math?!

[deathgirl]

.........

I'm still trying to figure out why that guy is rocking 3 tins of Altoids on his keyboard in the 2nd picture down. And 3 more on the shelf next to that.

I think I've become clinically depressed just by reading through that guy's life. Thanks a lot.

reading posts from bros make me feel the same way :(


high school clique in my r&f
:(
way beyond highschool bro :( I wasn't even in a clique when I was in highschool :'(

damn who's dat??? id slip it in np
stop thatttttt I has a feeyansey whom I love w/ all my hearts

[Ruinous]

I love how you came to my thread to post how terrible men are to think in such a way, then I retort with a post from you which depicts a womans view of a sexist joke, and you can't even acknowledge it because you realize how hypocritical you are for it.

At least the comical story I posted had truths in it.

reading posts from bros make me feel the same way :(

Video game.... and forums... populated by 85% + males... and you're trolling the section in which the most opinionated and outspoken of them vent?... Stop acting like such a martyr, you don't need to read anything posted here.

Let's all feel bad for deathgirl because she types sad faces behind all of her sentences and didn't fit in anywhere in high school. Play moar sympathy card imo.

You and SUSUGAM, I'm assuming, must be internet lovers. I can't imagine anyone claiming love and affection so vehemently towards their partner while being so hypocritical to play MMO's otherwise.

[SUSUGAM]

I love how you came to my thread to post how terrible men are to think in such a way, then I retort with a post from you which depicts a womans view of a sexist joke, and you can't even acknowledge it because you realize how hypocritical you are for it.

At least the comical story I posted had truths in it.



Video game.... and forums... populated by 85% + males... and you're trolling the section in which the most opinionated and outspoken of them vent?... Stop acting like such a martyr, you don't need to read anything posted here.

Let's all feel bad for deathgirl because she types sad faces behind all of her sentences and didn't fit in anywhere in high school. Play moar sympathy card imo.

You and SUSUGAM, I'm assuming, must be internet lovers. I can't imagine anyone claiming love and affection so vehemently towards their partner while being so hypocritical to play MMO's otherwise.

but i did sex on her irl, am i cool yet

[Ruinous]

Oh.. and btw, the reason I posted your facebook was to compare the real you with the picture of "you" that you presented to the forums. Seems a bit... discrepant, doesn't it?

[Ruinous]

but i did sex on her irl, am i cool yet

Keep trying to muster the mental fortitude to provide anything meaningful to this conversation. Would you like me to make some typos or grammatical errors for you to dissect again? That was pretty lulzy the first time.

You totally called me out in front of your lady, what a valiant lover you must be.

[deathgirl]

I love how you came to my thread to post how terrible men are to think in such a way, then I retort with a post from you which depicts a womans view of a sexist joke, and you can't even acknowledge it because you realize how hypocritical you are for it.

At least the comical story I posted had truths in it.



Video game.... and forums... populated by 85% + males... and you're trolling the section in which the most opinionated and outspoken of them vent?... Stop acting like such a martyr, you don't need to read anything posted here.

Let's all feel bad for deathgirl because she types sad faces behind all of her sentences and didn't fit in anywhere in high school. Play moar sympathy card imo.

You and SUSUGAM, I'm assuming, must be internet lovers. I can't imagine anyone claiming love and affection so vehemently towards their partner while being so hypocritical to play MMO's otherwise.

I know you think the first post has truths in it, that was the whole reason I posted. duh.

lawl martyr? wat

also, are you say that one can't be in love and play mmo's? wat? if you're not saying that, l2english.

i resign

[SUSUGAM]

Keep trying to muster the mental fortitude to provide anything meaningful to this conversation. Would you like me to make some typos or grammatical errors for you to dissect again? That was pretty lulzy the first time.

You totally called me out in front of your lady, what a valiant lover you must be.

For a troll trying to troll trolls, you sure are gettin' pretty mad. I have so much mental fortitude, you'd have to roll a 20 to land anything on me. now u mad brew????

[SUSUGAM]

Oh.. and btw, the reason I posted your facebook was to compare the real you with the picture of "you" that you presented to the forums. Seems a bit... discrepant, doesn't it?

I think the best part about this is that, not only is her real name spammed in about 50 tags, but she posted her actual facebook link before. Looking pretty clever, sherlock.

[purist]

if that is in fact her facebook then she does look significantly uglier tbh

[Scaramuccia]

Leave Ulillillia out of this.

[SUSUGAM]

Leave Ulillillia out of this.

You are Ulillillia. You saw the traffic to your site coming from these forums cause you watch the inbound 24/7, don't lie. Tell us your secrets, Ulillillia.

[Ruinous]

For a troll trying to troll trolls, you sure are gettin' pretty mad. I have so much mental fortitude, you'd have to roll a 20 to land anything on me. now u mad brew????

I'm so mad brew.


















....keep trying!

[Ruinous]

if that is in fact her facebook then she does look significantly uglier tbh



It is. The chick on that FB is from Australia. Queensland specifically. She's made comment(s) about being there. Her name is Brittany, also tagged in a thread she admitted it was tagged in. And she's on the P99 FB page.

[Scaramuccia]

You are Ulillillia. You saw the traffic to your site coming from these forums cause you watch the inbound 24/7, don't lie. Tell us your secrets, Ulillillia.

If you knew anything about Ulillillia you would realise he would not be capable of responding to this thread.

[xshayla701]

It is. The chick on that FB is from Australia. Queensland specifically. She's made comment(s) about being there. Her name is Brittany, also tagged in a thread she admitted it was tagged in. And she's on the P99 FB page.

Lolol man this is funny, you are really bad at stalking. I can teach you if you want!

[Bruno]

I can teach you

But I have to charge?

[Ruinous]

Lolol man this is funny, you are really bad at stalking. I can teach you if you want!

So you deny the fact that this is her FB page?

[deathgirl]

So you deny the fact that this is her FB page?

my name isn't brittany -.- if you're trying to troll it ain't clever bro

[Ruinous]

my name isn't brittany -.- if you're trying to troll it ain't clever bro

there is one in here somewhere already, silly. glhf! also, my real name is in the tags. -.-

In the thread here:

http://www.project1999.org/forums/showthread.php?p=279446#post279446

Magically since my calling you out and finding your FB to compare to the bullshit picture you posted, the name Brittany has dropped from the tags. Also coincidently enough a new one stating deathgirl=sachajanebruÿn has since appeared.

Quoted directly from you:

I'm in aus and am in Vesica Dei. Seems to align pretty well, not that my internet's good enough to play as often as I'd like 8]

Also coincidently enough, this facebook (yours):

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=523705646

Is one connected to the P99 facebook group, is someone who lives in Australia, and is named Brittany.

OH I GUESS IT MUST JUST BE SOME OTHER UGLY CHICK THAT TROLLS P99 FORUMS, LIVES IN AUS, AND IS NAMED BRITTANY.

My bad.

[Ruinous]

Changed tags just like you changed avatar after getting called out? Lulz.

[xshayla701]

Changed tags just like you changed avatar after getting called out? Lulz.

but seriously, who the fuck is brittany

[Pico]

dude that's pretty creepy

[deathgirl]

Changed tags just like you changed avatar after getting called out? Lulz.

I never touched ze tags, my name is Sacha, nat Brittany, idiot, and I changed my avatar as explained in THIS (http://www.project1999.org/forums/showpost.php?p=280472&postcount=659) post. now shutup.

[Ruinous]

I never touched ze tags, my name is Sacha, nat Brittany, idiot, and I changed my avatar as explained in THIS (http://www.project1999.org/forums/showpost.php?p=280472&postcount=659) post. now shutup.


And yet, they were changed. Why would you post your own name in a tag anyways? It was probably your internet boyfriend, lawlz. Ugly chicks need lovin' too...



But they gotta pay.

[SUSUGAM]

And yet, they were changed. Why would you post your own name in a tag anyways? It was probably your internet boyfriend, lawlz. Ugly chicks need lovin' too...



But they gotta pay.

Jelly as fuck

[SUSUGAM]

In the thread here:

http://www.project1999.org/forums/showthread.php?p=279446#post279446

Magically since my calling you out and finding your FB to compare to the bullshit picture you posted, the name Brittany has dropped from the tags. Also coincidently enough a new one stating deathgirl=sachajanebruÿn has since appeared.

Quoted directly from you:



Also coincidently enough, this facebook (yours):

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=523705646

Is one connected to the P99 facebook group, is someone who lives in Australia, and is named Brittany.

OH I GUESS IT MUST JUST BE SOME OTHER UGLY CHICK THAT TROLLS P99 FORUMS, LIVES IN AUS, AND IS NAMED BRITTANY.

My bad.

This is... so good. I have no words.

[SUSUGAM]

If you knew anything about Ulillillia you would realise he would not be capable of responding to this thread.

You're probably right, but maybe you are just throwing me off your trail, secret keeper. Tell me what you know, Ulillillia.

[xshayla701]

And yet, they were changed. Why would you post your own name in a tag anyways? It was probably your internet boyfriend, lawlz. Ugly chicks need lovin' too...

Man, not only did you make yourself look like a huge idiot, but why'd you have to be an asshole? That girl whose facebook you linked could see this and be like WTF. She's not even ugly, I guarantee most guys here wouldn't turn her down.

Why the hell were you trying to find her facebook anyway? You thought she posted a fake picture? Good god what is wrong with people

[nalkin]

^ she mad

[Ennoia]

I never touched ze tags, my name is Sacha, nat Brittany, idiot, and I changed my avatar as explained in THIS (http://www.project1999.org/forums/showpost.php?p=280472&postcount=659) post. now shutup.

Tits or GTFO.

[Ennoia]

Lol Page 8

[Ruinous]

^ she mad

[Ruinous]

Man, not only did you make yourself look like a huge idiot, but why'd you have to be an asshole? That girl whose facebook you linked could see this and be like WTF. She's not even ugly, I guarantee most guys here wouldn't turn her down.

Why the hell were you trying to find her facebook anyway? You thought she posted a fake picture? Good god what is wrong with people

Attention whoring females using fake pictures of themselves is nothing new. All is fair in Rants and Flames btw, and both you and her choose to post here rather exclusively. So either find a new hobby, or take some fucking Xanax and relax. The entire reason I posted what I BELIEVE is to be a discrepancy between a picture she posted of herself and what appears to be her facebook is because I found it to be rather funny from someone taking a holier-than-thou attitude towards jokes posted in R&F section.

Don't flatter yourself into thinking I'm stalking you. I found said information while looking through previous posts to quote your oh so funny and hypocritical joke about male intelligence.

Cry moar.

[Knuckle]

I'm an unbiased judge of boobies, send me some pics and I will rate them 1-10. This goes for all board members.

[xshayla701]

Attention whoring females using fake pictures of themselves is nothing new. All is fair in Rants and Flames btw, and both you and her choose to post here rather exclusively. So either find a new hobby, or take some fucking Xanax and relax. The entire reason I posted what I BELIEVE is to be a discrepancy between a picture she posted of herself and what appears to be her facebook is because I found it to be rather funny from someone taking a holier-than-thou attitude towards jokes posted in R&F section.

Don't flatter yourself into thinking I'm stalking you. I found said information while looking through previous posts to quote your oh so funny and hypocritical joke about male intelligence.

Cry moar.

I don't even know who you're talking to. You quoted me, I never said you were stalking me and I didn't say anything about male intelligence. I just think it's rather odd you're so intent on outing her facebook. I guess you're talking to her?

Isn't posting personal information on the forums against the rules, anyway?

[deathgirl]

still dunno what discrepancy you're talking about. I bet you think one of my fake pictures is supposed to be me, lol. If you meant the one in the green cloak, I was years younger and it was a tiny webcam pic.

lurk life moar young faget

[Ruinous]

lurk life moar young faget

The hypocrisy is strong with this one.

And for the record, you are definitely mad.

Session is adjourned~

[SUSUGAM]

The hypocrisy is strong with this one.

And for the record, you are definitely mad.

Session is adjourned~

he is so wise and aware.

i better bold a word to stress how srs i am. if someone tells me im a loser, they're mad and i trolled 'em loliwin@life. ps, i found your facebook, bro.
http://bit.ly/bMoKSZ

[xshayla701]

he is so wise and aware.

i better bold a word to stress how srs i am. if someone tells me im a loser, they're mad and i trolled 'em loliwin@life. ps, i found your facebook, bro.
http://bit.ly/bMoKSZ

damnit i fell for it

[Ruinous]

he is so wise and aware.

i better bold a word to stress how srs i am. if someone tells me im a loser, they're mad and i trolled 'em loliwin@life. ps, i found your facebook, bro.
http://bit.ly/bMoKSZ

No, but I did find yours, Shawn.

It must really suck having 15 FB friends lololol.

( notice ^^^^^^ I'm super srs about the bold part)

[Knuckle]

i want to facebook friend all over this thread untill it drips down on some titties

[Taryth]

The hypocrisy is strong with this one.

And for the record, you are definitely mad.

Session is adjourned~

Yes, the hypocrisy is strong (italics ftw!) . . .

http://www.project1999.org/forums/showpost.php?p=277041&postcount=30

http://www.project1999.org/forums/showpost.php?p=276481&postcount=33

[Neno]

In 1984, he began to beatbox. DMX was the beatboxer and his partner Ready Ron was the rapper. His name came from the Oberheim DMX drum machine. In 1991, Gabriel Grevenstuk from The Source magazine praised him in its "Unsigned Hype" column, which highlighted unsigned hip-hop artists. Later, he was signed to the Columbia Records subsidiary Ruffhouse in 1992; under that label he released his debut single "Born Loser", which did not get much airplay. However, Ruffhouse promoted many other artists on its roster rather than DMX and so agreed to release him from his contract eventually. In 1994, he released a second single, "Make a Move". In 1997, he made a successful guest appearance on LL Cool J's "4, 3, 2, 1". Additional guest spots on Mase's "24 Hours to Live" and "Take What's Yours", and The LOX's "Money, Power & Respect" created an even stronger buzz.[2] DMX also made a cameo appearance in the Sum 41 music video for "Makes No Difference".[3]

In February 1998, he released his debut major-label single under Def Jam Recordings, "Get At Me Dog", which was certified gold by the RIAA. His first major-label album It's Dark and Hell Is Hot, which included the single Ruff Ryders Anthem, was released in May 1998 and debuted on the top spot on the Billboard 200 chart in the U.S. It earned Simmons numerous comparisons to Tupac Shakur and sold over four million copies. Soon after the release of the album, DMX was nearly imprisoned for allegedly raping a stripper in the Bronx but was cleared by DNA evidence.[2] Later that year in December, DMX released his second album, Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood. It entered the charts at number one (and stayed there for 3 consecutive weeks) with 670,000 units shipped in the first week alone. The album eventually went 4x platinum. DMX was the second rapper to have two albums released in the same year debut at number one on Billboard's Top 200, the first being Tupac Shakur.[2]

Simmons released his third album, ...And Then There Was X, on December 21, 1999. It debuted at number one on the pop charts, his third straight album to do so. "Party Up" was his biggest single, and became his first Top Ten hit on the R&B charts. His lead single off the album, "What's My Name?" (containing the piano prelude from Richard Addinsell's Warsaw Concerto), and third single "What These Bitches Want" (featuring Sisqo) were also popular. .....And Then There Was X is Simmons' best-selling album to date, going six times platinum.[2]

After improving his legal situation, Simmons returned to the studio and completed his fourth album, The Great Depression. Released October 3, 2001, it was his fourth straight album to debut at the top of the Billboard 200. With hits such as "Who We Be", "We Right Here", and the street track, "Shorty Was The Bomb". The Great Depression quickly went triple platinum, but was not as commercially or critically successful as his previous album.[2]

In 2003, Grand Champ became DMX's fifth straight album to debut at number one. This made DMX the only artist in history to have 5 albums (and his entire album catalog) debut at #1 with hits "Where Tha Hood At" and "Get it on the Floor". After its release, he informed the public that he planned to retire, and that Grand Champ would be his final album.[4] In June 2003, DMX was arrested for using indecent language during a performance at Saint Kitts and Nevis. The country's Information Minister alleged that a contract signed before the concert stipulated the show would be without indecent language on stage. Simmons was released on bail ($376).[5]

In January 2006, DMX signed to Columbia Records, the label that released his early single "Born Loser".[6] DMX recorded his next album while switching record labels, causing numerous delays. The album was finally released on August 1, 2006, under the title Year of the Dog...Again. It missed the number one spot in the charts by only one hundred sales. He also appeared on a remix of Busta Rhymes' "Touch It". Two more singles, "Lord Give Me A Sign" and "We In Here", followed. The Definition of X: The Pick of the Litter was DMX's greatest hits album, released on June 12, 2007.[2] Def Jam also released a new compilation album entitled The Best of DMX [7][8] which features hit singles including "Where the Hood At?" and "X Gon' Give It to Ya".

DMX signed to Bodog Music in 2007 to release his seventh and eighth studio albums on the same day, Walk with Me Now and You'll Fly with Me Later.[9] X is planning to release both albums back-to-back. In an Interview DMX Said He has 3 albums done. A hip hop Album, a gospel album and a rock album. Summer 2011 DMX plans to drop the ninth studio album. DMX also said the album's name was "X Is Back" or "The Under Dog" however, now Its called The Undisputed Champ.

[SUSUGAM]

neno, idk why you are telling us about that canine obsessed rapper, but i dig your Edward avatar

No, but I did find yours, Shawn.

It must really suck having 15 FB friends lololol.

( notice ^^^^^^ I'm super srs about the bold part)

Congrats, you found my public Facebook that is directly linked to my fiancée's. Young Sherlock Holmes indeed. Then you try to make fun of me for my FB friend count. Oh dear. Oh yeah, I deleted two from those 15, I don't talk to them anymore. Now I only have 13 facebook friends :'( Will you pls add me so I feel better about myself? I can only imagine the kind of toolbox you are, that you actually saw that number as a legit way to target me. Hi5 bro

[Ruinous]

Congrats, you found my public Facebook that is directly linked to my fiancée's. Young Sherlock Holmes indeed. Then you try to make fun of me for my FB friend count. Oh dear. Oh yeah, I deleted two from those 15, I don't talk to them anymore. Now I only have 13 facebook friends :'( Will you pls add me so I feel better about myself? I can only imagine the kind of toolbox you are, that you actually saw that number as a legit way to target me. Hi5 bro

I better start taking notes on how to attack people that use bold, italics or underline as a way to emphasize their sentences and wording instead. I have much to learn from you, obviously, as to not make myself look like a "toolbox".

Btw, you're pretty much exactly what I expected you to look like. Go get some sun and some friends you pasty motherfucker.

[SUSUGAM]

I better start taking notes on how to attack people that use bold, italics or underline as a way to emphasize their sentences and wording instead. I have much to learn from you, obviously, as to not make myself look like a "toolbox".

Btw, you're pretty much exactly what I expected you to look like. Go get some sun and some friends you pasty motherfucker.

But I'd get the cancers from the sun and the aids from the friends... are you trying to kill me, angrybro?

Are you going to take notes from yourself? I don't get that part. I never used bold/italics/underlines except the one time mocking you. You seem to blend every user that isn't Ruinous into one entity. I'm sorry that the world is against you, man. If you stopped being such a toolbox, maybe you could be content with 13 friends. =/

[Ruinous]

But I'd get the cancers from the sun and the aids from the friends... are you trying to kill me, angrybro?

Are you going to take notes from yourself? I don't get that part. I never used bold/italics/underlines except the one time mocking you. You seem to blend every user that isn't Ruinous into one entity. I'm sorry that the world is against you, man. If you stopped being such a toolbox, maybe you could be content with 13 friends. =/

That's the point, buddy. The reference was to you insulting me for using bold for emphasis. Clearly that is a sophisticated way of attacking someone compared to calling them out for having 15 FB friends. Are you following along yet?

I'm sorry you feel the need to defend your honor on an internet forum to impress your lady frand. I'm highly amused by it. And, you keep taking the bait. Lawl.

[SUSUGAM]

That's the point, buddy. The reference was to you insulting me for using bold for emphasis. Clearly that is a sophisticated way of attacking someone compared to calling them out for having 15 FB friends. Are you following along yet?

I'm sorry you feel the need to defend your honor on an internet forum to impress your lady frand. I'm highly amused by it. And, you keep taking the bait. Lawl.

Didn't I tell you like 58 posts ago that it was troll trolling troll action? Relax broski. The subtlety of your toolbox-hood is still showing through. And come on, I don't need to impress my ladyfren, she's already obsessed4lyf. You'll find love someday, and know how it is. :) Until then, you can always fall back on your facebook friend count. :o

[Ruinous]

Yes, the hypocrisy is strong (italics ftw!) . . .

http://www.project1999.org/forums/showpost.php?p=277041&postcount=30

http://www.project1999.org/forums/showpost.php?p=276481&postcount=33

You didn't have to go full retard to get some attention, pal. First link makes fun of using fail meme's. How does that relate to anything in this thread?

As for the second, there is quite a big difference between actually making someone angry and simply TRYING to make them angry by asking them... if they are angry.

And btw bold > italic so gtfo.

[SUSUGAM]

You didn't have to go full retard to get some attention, pal. First link makes fun of using fail meme's. How does that relate to anything in this thread?

As for the second, there is quite a big difference between actually making someone angry and simply TRYING to make them angry by asking them... if they are angry.

And btw bold > italic so gtfo.

u mad bro?

[blammo]

wow this ruinous guy sounds fat as hell

[Ruinous]

wow this ruinous guy sounds fat as hell

Over 9000 lbs broheim. Wanna fite eye are el?

[blammo]

Over 9000 lbs broheim. Wanna fite eye are el?

fat

[deathgirl]

eye are el?

confirmed for assburgers. I'm sorry bro.


ps saying broheim won't make u a susugam

[Ruinous]

ps saying broheim won't make u a susugam

Whew, dodged a bullet on that one EL OH EL.

[blammo]

Whew, dodged a bullet on that one EL OH EL.

obese

[Ruinous]

that reminds this one time i was at a carnival and i shit my pants so i secretly disposed of them in a garbage bin.

http://www.depend.com/products/get-samples

I won't judge bro.

[Taryth]

You didn't have to go full retard to get some attention, pal. First link makes fun of using fail meme's. How does that relate to anything in this thread?

As for the second, there is quite a big difference between actually making someone angry and simply TRYING to make them angry by asking them... if they are angry.

And btw bold > italic so gtfo.

If you couldn't understand the incredible subtlety, I was referring to your use of the shitty meme "u mad bro?"

. . .u mad, bro?


I disagree, italics pwn bold.

[Excision Rottun]

Pure gold.

Especially likethis part:

we fucking used our entire repitoire on you the first night. We wanna make a good first impression. So we picture other girls to keep us entertained.

[deathgirl]

ofc u do

[pargalı]

super job. success in studies. Thank you for sharing.

[carrots]

still waiting for pics of deathgirl

[Koota]

still waiting for pics of deathgirl

They are already on this board (not in this forum).


Look around. Stop waiting.

[Ruinous]

Bump!

[Ecco]

3/10 because you got deathgirl

[Misto]

this thread sucks and lacks any substance whatsoever.

wasted my time.

except for this post.

[Smyd]

when my GF gives me free reign, i hit the pc all night. :p
A good old work jerk satisfies any lust one might have and saves u from the time waster later that night eating precious game time.
Sorry, all i can hear in my head is nagging, so i savour any alone time i can get hahaha

AWESOME read haha, had me in stitches!

[Smyd]

nah bro. I already assumed all men were just as the first post describes. I thought they were all heartless would-be rapists who would always want to fuck that girl in the mall more than their gf. but then suddenly, the most decent guy appeared out of nowhere and I try my best to meet all his needs :cool:

deep.
Plus, i can bet he has you fooled. He is day dreaming about other chicks and he hides it well... also, i can guarantee that you annoy the jesus out of him; you're no different. Fuck, all chicks believe they cater for every need their BF has... but no chick ever caters for the BF's need to NOT be annoyed. christ, now im annoyed. THANKS DEATHGIRL.

Has any guy here dated a chick for an extended period of time and she has remained cool to hang out with? If your answer is yes, you are a filthy liar.

ps. this was a bit of an early morning brain dump, so excuse me if it makes no sense.

Kiss you all, except deathshit