Got up to play EQ today.

[magnetaress]

Took my meds and started to feel like shit. Too numb and dizzy to play.

Butt u know what. Imm keep on keeping on. Maybe I will feel up to playing later.

[Trexller]

the ads? really bot?

lol

this is like watching a washing machine try to cook food

[magnetaress]

It's probably better to feel this way tho.

Probably shouldn't discuss the exact mix don't want to encourage anyone to try them.

Didn't improve all day either...

[Swish]

You're not part Scottish are you? The drug cocktail scene never dies there.

[Pulgasari]

It's probably better to feel this way tho.

Probably shouldn't discuss the exact mix don't want to encourage anyone to try them.

Didn't improve all day either...

sigh do I really have to give you a cheat code? noob

if it doesn't work out ask them for an atypical (2nd gen)

58hoktsqk_Q

[magnetaress]

Trigger Warning! 9/11 sigh do I really have to give you a cheat code? noob

if it doesn't work out ask them for an atypical (2nd gen)

58hoktsqk_Q

U should have triggere warning this

--- Another trigger warning --- :mad:

I'm way beyond del toro. U know what is fucked up ... this is kinda cultural appropriation by LG... but u know what maybe she is feelin that death echo too. Maybe she's one of my deth echos. Lilith be grabbin for ya..

I have had waking nightmares dreams where I'm on the ground and someone is screaming 'hard' as in "push hard" and they are playing vintage music to see if my ECG responds (paramedics will sometimes load up a song on a phone to try and get ppls brains stimulated) except my reality is so fucked up IDK If I died on the floor in SLC due to a knife wound or died in the VA hospital psychward due to dehydration, or managed to kill myself in the future and I've only caught up to that in snippets.

I don't think LG did a super fuckin gr8 job at it butt she tried with this one.

The nature of life is suffering. There is no good that comes from 'life'. It is a penance. Stasis is best. Wrap urself up in a warm blanket with some wine and meds and sleep it off. ----

Also check this out.

"Borderline Personality Disorder is the most painful". That shit right there ... it is fucking terrible when it's accute. And "mindfulness and meditation" will not control it... the only thing you can do is avoid getting into a crisis state. And I have zero control over my life, and will never have, because I'm an accute case of very dangerous crazy and the moral thing to do is chill tf out in a dark quiet place under a weighted blanket.

6TS4d-zqRFA?si=nL-tyEc352p2LHg8

This dude blows some sunshine up pplz asses because he doesn't want them to give up and wants their business, butt yes it can go into "remission". It never gets better.

Most psychologists and shrinks don't want to have anything to do with someone with BPD and will hang up if u tell them u got it. --- when i start to self harm its too late, I need a pill and then a trip to the psychward to probably get some shots ---

xOnNk-8gSe8?si=KX3GK6SK7GZD-DQB

^i have like 30 minute incriments when I can even behave that well

butt ya I think I def have a lot of BPD traits, especially the psycho anger and self harm.

sigh do I really have to give you a cheat code? noob

if it doesn't work out ask them for an atypical (2nd gen)



I tried several... like Vilazadone made my symptoms very acute and unmanageable probably indirectly lead to the most recent 911 ---- GUY was smart for proscribing it off the checklist for 'emotional constriction might help', bUtT I def have some serious trauma and shit and PTSD and my amgdyla is super fckn small. :o

Like I can just break and have a psychotic episode without warning or any 'feelings or thoughts' ... like i can be standing there in a heightened emotional state and 'heightened emotional state' is all the warning i get... i don't think about it it just happens. Then I need to go to the ER to get my head checked out and a catscan and not to tell them I was playing football because A. that is a lie. B. i'm prob needin shots

it fuckin sucks my life is 100% disrupted

thx for the support guys i know this isn't the "right foruam for it butt" i feel comfortable shit posting about it here.

Seven controlled efficacy trials were conducted of vilazodone for treatment of major depressive disorder (MDD).[13] Five of these trials showed no significant influence of vilazodone over placebo on depressive symptoms.[13] In the remaining two trials, small but significant advantages of vilazodone over placebo were found.[13] According to these two eight-week trials in adults, vilazodone has an antidepressant response after one week of treatment.[14] After eight weeks it resulted in a 13% greater response than placebo.[14] Remission rates, however, were not significantly different versus placebo.[14]

According to the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) staff in 2011, "it is unknown whether vilazodone has any advantages compared to other drugs in the antidepressant class."[15] A 2019 review stated that "present studies do not suggest the superiority of vilazodone compared with other antidepressants."[16]

Development of vilazodone for generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) has been stopped as of 2017.[17] While there is tentative evidence of a small benefit in GAD, there is a high rate of side effects.[18]

In otherwords start diagnosing ppl correctly (with PTSD and Anxiety) and stop proscribing shit that will make someone suicidal/dangerously unstable go completely apeshit lol.

[magnetaress]

P.s. I did manage liek 3rs of v interrupted play today b4 pain scared me 😨

[Trexller]

So can you like better accomodate yourself?

Like with a 42" tv at the foot of your bed, a wireless keyboard/mouse and windows scaling set at 300%

[Botten]

Plenty of rest, some water and positive thinking.

Ask for help from a loved one.

Schedule a visit to you primary or specialist.

Don't dwell on anything and don't research your symptoms (then act on them).

Enjoy a warm shower.

Get a heating pad with an automatic shut off and apply to painful areas or even to chest for anxiety.

Find comfort with a pet.

And who wouldn't I be if I didn't say this. Stay away from cult like fictional reading.

[magnetaress]

So can you like better accomodate yourself?

Like with a 42" tv at the foot of your bed, a wireless keyboard/mouse and windows scaling set at 300%

I really need to just bite the bullet and do this.

[Trexller]

well, I have now assigned you homework

https://civilwartalk.com/attachments/img_3354-jpeg.471774/

[magnetaress]

This dude. Is liek a black more chilled out me lol.

kjDUsokp-Zs?si=1b90pyT3u9HmNJlQ

except i hate kids lol

[Pulgasari]

U should have triggere warning this

--- Another trigger warning --- :mad:

I'm way beyond del toro. U know what is fucked up ... this is kinda cultural appropriation by LG... but u know what maybe she is feelin that death echo too. Maybe she's one of my deth echos. Lilith be grabbin for ya..

I have had waking nightmares dreams where I'm on the ground and someone is screaming 'hard' as in "push hard" and they are playing vintage music to see if my ECG responds (paramedics will sometimes load up a song on a phone to try and get ppls brains stimulated) except my reality is so fucked up IDK If I died on the floor in SLC due to a knife wound or died in the VA hospital psychward due to dehydration, or managed to kill myself in the future and I've only caught up to that in snippets.

I don't think LG did a super fuckin gr8 job at it butt she tried with this one.

The nature of life is suffering. There is no good that comes from 'life'. It is a penance. Stasis is best. Wrap urself up in a warm blanket with some wine and meds and sleep it off. ----

Also check this out.

"Borderline Personality Disorder is the most painful". That shit right there ... it is fucking terrible when it's accute. And "mindfulness and meditation" will not control it... the only thing you can do is avoid getting into a crisis state. And I have zero control over my life, and will never have, because I'm an accute case of very dangerous crazy and the moral thing to do is chill tf out in a dark quiet place under a weighted blanket.

6TS4d-zqRFA?si=nL-tyEc352p2LHg8

This dude blows some sunshine up pplz asses because he doesn't want them to give up and wants their business, butt yes it can go into "remission". It never gets better.

Most psychologists and shrinks don't want to have anything to do with someone with BPD and will hang up if u tell them u got it. --- when i start to self harm its too late, I need a pill and then a trip to the psychward to probably get some shots ---

xOnNk-8gSe8?si=KX3GK6SK7GZD-DQB

^i have like 30 minute incriments when I can even behave that well

butt ya I think I def have a lot of BPD traits, especially the psycho anger and self harm.



I tried several... like Vilazadone made my symptoms very acute and unmanageable probably indirectly lead to the most recent 911 ---- GUY was smart for proscribing it off the checklist for 'emotional constriction might help', bUtT I def have some serious trauma and shit and PTSD and my amgdyla is super fckn small. :o

Like I can just break and have a psychotic episode without warning or any 'feelings or thoughts' ... like i can be standing there in a heightened emotional state and 'heightened emotional state' is all the warning i get... i don't think about it it just happens. Then I need to go to the ER to get my head checked out and a catscan and not to tell them I was playing football because A. that is a lie. B. i'm prob needin shots

it fuckin sucks my life is 100% disrupted

thx for the support guys i know this isn't the "right foruam for it butt" i feel comfortable shit posting about it here.



In otherwords start diagnosing ppl correctly (with PTSD and Anxiety) and stop proscribing shit that will make someone suicidal/dangerously unstable go completely apeshit lol.

Borderline people sound annoying. I don't think that's you.

[magnetaress]

idk tho i feel like pushing for haloperidol or back to quetiapine

i kinda miss how i felt on quetiapine maybe i should have just upped the dosage A Lot back then

[magnetaress]

Borderline people sound annoying. I don't think that's you.

so give me a diagnosis dr

[Trexller]

they say that life doesn't come with an instruction manual.

I beg to differ.

I believe that your emotions are your instructions on how to live your life. Your emotions will tell you if you are right, or wrong, if you're being treated bad, or good.

If you feel depressed, anxious, or just plain ol' bad, then you are subjecting yourself to unfavorable circumstances.

Whatever you are, that is what you have to be. You do not have a choice. If in your heart you are a black trans jewish nazi, then that is what you have to be.

If in your heart you are a philanthropic Christian family man, then that is what you have to be, you do not have a choice.

so give me a diagnosis dr

you can diagnose yourself by asking into the depths of your soul, "What do I really want?" and then actually working toward what you truly desire.

Happiness is the freedom to pursue happiness, there is nothing more too it, everyone just over-complicates it.

That's how we solve the majority of mental health issues.

Big Pharma won't tell you this, because they profit from literally everyone who feels bad.

[booter]

Your emotions will tell you if you are right, or wrong

lol that explains a lot :o

[Trexller]

Whatever you are, that is what you have to be. You do not have a choice.

[magnetaress]

they say that life doesn't come with an instruction manual.

I beg to differ.

I believe that your emotions are your instructions on how to live your life. Your emotions will tell you if you are right, or wrong, if you're being treated bad, or good.

If you feel depressed, anxious, or just plain ol' bad, then you are subjecting yourself to unfavorable circumstances.

Whatever you are, that is what you have to be. You do not have a choice. If in your heart you are a black trans jewish nazi, then that is what you have to be.

If in your heart you are a philanthropic Christian family man, then that is what you have to be, you do not have a choice.



you can diagnose yourself by asking into the depths of your soul, "What do I really want?" and then actually working toward what you truly desire.

Happiness is the freedom to pursue happiness, there is nothing more too it, everyone just over-complicates it.

That's how we solve the majority of mental health issues.

Big Pharma won't tell you this, because they profit from literally everyone who feels bad.

my emotions tell me to do very bad things to myself :o :( :mad:

When I open that box of "who are you really" it's a nightmare. I don't believe G-d cursed me, butt I am definitely challenged very heavily by Satan even tho I DO A LOT OF STUFF to stay away from him/that and close my door on the demons. I believe I have been relatively successful in this regard. I do get 'emotionally' tired sometimes tho. I guess physically tired too, butt not to the point of total collapse..

I feel like G-d kinda helps tho prepare u for this bullshit if u have to live with it.

[Trexller]

my emotions tell me to do very bad things to myself :p

no they don't, you need to look deeper.

when you get feelings of self harm you are responding to your own internal cycle of frustrations

simply put, you feel bad, so you try to feel better, and when you still feel bad, you try to feel better, so on and so on caught in an endless loop, it feels like no matter what you try, you are failing, then eventually you throw your hands up in the air and say, "Fuck this ill just end it"

you gotta break that cycle and end that loop. to do this you will need to find what you really want. some of us have buried our true desires so deep within our psyche that we no longer have any idea what we want, and would not recognize it if we saw it.

dig deep and make it hurt, because if it doesn't hurt then you aren't actually doing anything. Yeah, you hurt now but that's different, its a result of wallowing in a pit of despair.

this is counterintuitive, but to dig yourself out of a pit of despair, you have to dig it deeper. you have to go wayyy down until the hurt is no longer just despair but a recognition of what you are living without.

then you can understand what you need to feel good, then you can recognize what it is that you do not want and remove it

gotta figuratively get off your ass and work, then you can physically get off your ass and make something good.

many people are alive, but are not living.

if you aren't gonna die, then you have to live. you survived soldier training, you will survive this.

[Trexller]

you wanna beat Satan?

then you walk up to him, you look him in the eyes, you shake his hand, and you politely but firmly say, "No". You have to refuse evil, but never at the cost of your own soul, he can work with that.

running from Satan is just as bad as indulging him, he can work with that too.

[magnetaress]

you wanna beat Satan?

then you walk up to him, you look him in the eyes, you shake his hand, and you politely but firmly say, "No". You have to refuse evil, but never at the cost of your own soul, he can work with that.

running from Satan is just as bad as indulging him, he can work with that too.

solid point

[Trexller]

I assigned you homework, did you start to build your in-bed home theater system?

playing EQ is something you want, you need to give yourself that. If you are unable to sit at a desk to play EQ, then you need to build your in-bed home theater system.

42" or larger TV, wireless mouse/keyboard, windows scaling at 300%. I know you can afford these items as none of them need to be expensive.

Once you accomplish this, then you need to let yourself feel good playing EQ. You will then know a little bit of happiness.

You will then need to ask yourself, "what would make me happier?"

Happiness is the pursuit of happiness. You can never stop trying. When you fail, and you will fail, you need to try again.

Figure out what it is that you want, and kick in doors to get it for yourself.

[magnetaress]

This is where I have to step out of the conversation, because I cannot answer that question without hurting other ppl emotionally. ANd risking them experiencing their behaviors. I feel like this is an oblique enough answer to get thru that without triggering anyone and hurting anyone. Hopefully.

This thread prob needs to be nuked.

[Trexller]

This is where I have to step out of the conversation, because I cannot answer that question without hurting other ppl emotionally. ANd risking them experiencing their behaviors. I feel like this is an oblique enough answer to get thru that without triggering anyone and hurting anyone. Hopefully.

This thread prob needs to be nuked.

nobody here is gonna get hurt by your answers. these people are all willing to help you.

you don't need to hide behind their problems or be concerned about them, you can't help them or anyone if you don't help yourself.

this thread just got good, we just showed you what you need.

You posted a thread about not feeling good, you DO want this.

We can only open the door, you're going to have to drag your ass through it, and it's gonna SUUUUCCKKK, but on the other side of this door, is your happiness

it will still be there when you are ready.

[Duik]

Whoever it was that said "this thread just got good" was dead on.
Magnet, you say you feel pain already right? With no apparent end in sight so enduring a little bit more for a potential resolution sounds like a plan.
Trex, im impressed and leaping with joy that a kindness such as this came from (what has largely been) shitpost central.
Your plan for magnet may or may not work but it gave me pause to think. I have many nice pieces of wood, maybe i could fashion for you a door wedge.

[Trexller]

a door wedge?

will it have my name in EQ themed woodburned scrollwork?

is this sort of thing common in the Land of Oz?

sorry im American, here we just buy each other useless things that we don't need and expect the recipient to feign great appreciation

[Pulgasari]

so give me a diagnosis dr

https://y.yarn.co/cf400a13-b5a2-4195-b3db-f74101a7de75_screenshot.jpg

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_depravity

(good cop bad cop)

(all cops are good cops, see how ridiculous that sounds?)

[Pulgasari]

you wanna beat Satan?

then you walk up to him, you look him in the eyes, you shake his hand, and you politely but firmly say, "No". You have to refuse evil, but never at the cost of your own soul, he can work with that.

running from Satan is just as bad as indulging him, he can work with that too.

h1Fhix-bNi0

[Duik]

a door wedge?

will it have my name in EQ themed woodburned scrollwork?

is this sort of thing common in the Land of Oz?

sorry im American, here we just buy each other useless things that we don't need and expect the recipient to feign great appreciation

To hold Magnets door open. Also, it will prolly be a scrap i have that is the exact right size not because i know the size, i just store every piece just in case.
If it helps, i will call it BIS.

[booter]

e- nm just want to say this thread is weird

[Pulgasari]

e- nm just want to say this thread is weird

gang gang

[magnetaress]

K_XwseDwmuQ?si=KDREE0tqyst9IacI

[Pulgasari]

K_XwseDwmuQ?si=KDREE0tqyst9IacI

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_of_Dorothy

[arvidez]

K_XwseDwmuQ?si=KDREE0tqyst9IacI

liminal space vibes and definitely 'worthy of Gay'

[magnetaress]

I've decided passing over the rainbow bridge is nbd. It's being trapped in the here and now that is terror. I'll cross when it is time.

🌈

[Trexller]

what is the rainbow bridge?