Why do cable companies always completely suck forever?

[Ciderpress]

Spectrum internet informed me that they would be sending me a FREE new cable modem, which is also mandatory to use beginning at the end of the month. I installed it. It immediately sucks and is riddled with problems that my 10+yr old cable modem did not exhibit, in the exact same house with all the same wires and shit.

They informed me that the purpose of this new modem is to allow me to *continue* to enjoy the same great service I always have!

I live in a rural area without a nearby cell tower, so I depend on the wired cable connection to even be able to use my cell phone to call somebody in an emergency. Why do cable companies absolutely *always* reem you up the ass in every imaginable way? Why did southpark have to make an episode specifically about cable companies getting sexual gratification in the form of rubbing their nipples from their customers' bad experiences? Why is this such a ubiquitous thing??

Good luck troubleshooting it on google, btw. There isn't even a model number on the modem. There's a sticker with a mac address and the word SPECTRUM on it and that's all.

I completely hate everything forever.

[Trexller]

that 10 year old modem didn't have the hard coded spyware to route all your internet traffic to NSA servers

so obviously they had to fix that

[Ciderpress]

Also what the hell does "boost your signal" mean? What?? Isn't it just a signal that is either on or off?

Oh, you can "boost" my signal at no extra cost?? Then just fuckin do it in the first place. It's like that seinfeld joke about airplane speeds. If you *can* go faster, just go as fast as you can, cause that's what I paid for, you absolute goofuses.

[Pulgasari]

Comcast moved Mariners to their priciest package. Thanks Comcast.

Can't wait for every RSN to go bellyup...maybe not the SEC.

[Ciderpress]

What provider\hardware do the sweatiest fte racers use? Does it require some kind of gym-size computer like from the 70s?

The manual has helpfully informed me that when the "online" light is solid white, my internet is only operating at "normal speed". But when it's blue, it's operating at "high speed".

My previous modem only had one light and it was always on and always fast. What the fuck?

[Evia]

Comcast moved Mariners to their priciest package. Thanks Comcast.

Can't wait for every RSN to go bellyup...maybe not the SEC.

Another M's fan?!
Although, to be fair, haven't been much interested in mlb since the rule changes. Not unlike what happened with EQ and why I play p99 vs live.
Get off my lawn young wippersnappers ect ect

[Toxigen]

that 10 year old modem didn't have the hard coded spyware to route all your internet traffic to NSA servers

so obviously they had to fix that

[magnetaress]

10/10 A+ S tier post OP

[Ciderpress]

Normally I would entertain the most paranoid explanation cause that's my normal MO but this smacks of everyone in the chain of command just sucking at like every possible aspect of rolling out this new piece of shit modem.

I miss land lines.

[Ciderpress]

https://i.imgur.com/nleYEmJ.png

This is what it looks like btw. It weighs about 1 ounce. I want to smash this thing with a baseball bat so bad.

[Trexller]

yeah but nowadays we can get AI generated celebrity nudes that are indistinguishable from real life

So that has to be worth the sacrifice of privacy, reliability and any customer service

Right?

[magnetaress]

My new modem had been more reliable butt for the first 3 months it was kinda terrible.

Isps are historically known to drop the ball and totally screw 1 out of every 100,000 customers due to shear ineptitude.

Ya 1 in 100,000 odds for most things these days. Not great odds to bet on for a surgery.

[Ciderpress]

I just simply do not understand why you ever need to get a new cable modem for any reason. Isn't there like a huge underwater cable that connects the internet between america and europe or something? Do they have to update that with the latest firmware too?

It's electrons traveling across wires. It's not, as they say, rocket science.

Here's my new favorite horrible thing about this piece of shit modem: The online and power lights have led's illuminating them, but they are really dim for some reason. The "voice" light which powers my terrible internet phone "land line" is very bright. There is absolutely nothing in any of the documentation they sent me that explains why the lights can dim, or what the lights dimming might mean, or why this modem is in any way better than the old one I just replaced, which worked perfectly always for like 12 years.

This is basic diagnostic shit from the 80s that they are utterly failing at.

[Ciderpress]

Oh and one more thing: I hate coax cables. It's the most imprecise interface ever. Is it plugged in or not? Who the fuck knows.

[Swish]

We're in the "buy cheap, buy twice" era... that new box probably isn't designed to go for more than 2 years.

[Pulgasari]

Oh and one more thing: I hate coax cables. It's the most imprecise interface ever. Is it plugged in or not? Who the fuck knows.

Coax is why you have to get a new modem. They're backfitting the data into the existing cable tv infrastructure. Packets and docsis.

@loramin is any of that right? 🥲

[Pulgasari]

Anyway if you think about the speed lights are like how they inverted rested xp on wow, you'll get it quick.

[caveslug]

Some years ago my internet stopped working, after getting the guy out.
He tells me he's been working for this company for over 5 years, and has never seen my modem used by his company.
Was with this company for a 3ish years by this point.

[Trexller]

We're in the "buy cheap, buy twice" era... that new box probably isn't designed to go for more than 2 years.

No tech company has figured out how to make any money without a subscription model

[Danth]

Also what the hell does "boost your signal" mean? What?? Isn't it just a signal that is either on or off?

Signal strength is very much variable. It'll be measured in decibel-millivolts, plus for a strong signal, negative for a weak one. Both incoming and outgoing signals will automatically adjust themselves, within the limits of the devices, according to the needs. For example, if you live in an area with a lot of line noise, your modem diagnostic might show a transmit volume in the high +++ range with a receive volume in the --- range, indicating your transmitter is screaming but it can hardly hear the incoming signals. This is *really* common in rural areas or on high-traffic nodes.

Could be your ISP noticed weak incoming signals from your address and sent you a modem that can yell louder--albeit, this is unusual and most the time the ISP will wait for a modem to fail. Optionally the old modem might've been incompatible with some network or software upgrades, or it's just plain old no longer supported. 10 years is a long time for a cable modem.

[magnetaress]

A lot of wifi security stuff. And the basic algorithms they depend in was upgraded in the last 5 years. I remember my phone not supporting Google Android apps anymore.