Project 1999 - RIP Brad McQuaid

I am still shocked he died. He was so young, practically close to my age.

Hope he died well and in peace.

RIP

Everquest has always been for me one of the few places where I can relax and escape from the dreary reality that surrounds me.

Since 2001 it has always been around me, only game I have continually played, over all the years and now finally here, where I can feel some of that original feeling of my golden years.

He will be missed and I am saddened as well by his passing, not because I knew him but his hand in the creation of this game into which I have poured so much of my own for almost 20 years.

So strange to be confronted by the reality of death, that it actually can reach you even in the virtual worlds you traverse to escape from everything.

I dont know about the rest of you, but for me Everquest has been the only outlet that has remained on my endless trips through the world fleeing from my past and perhaps even my future.

I at my age, have lost almost everything...

My country, my home, my family, some of my most loved ones , my friends and all the things I had to ditch during my long exile, my job , my own private practice office, my references and contacts ...

I have nowhere to return , my home is wrecked, invaded by others, no properties , no money , not even a place I could remotely feel attached to.

I lost my lifestyle and practically all the things I bought and earned through years of effort.

I am now diminished in this strange foreign land, with snippets of memories and the leftovers of my meagre belongings, most of them books with sentimental value that I was able to drag from the past and a city that is now as foreign to me as I am to it.

But over all that, over all that madness, that loss, that grief, the only thing I can always return to just feel a bit safe or perhaps feel sheltered of sorts is EQ.

No other MMO has given me that and as I grow older I think, no other will .

Here I can be free, roam endlessly and just exist in peace.

No one will come to take away what I have except the server shutting down, and when it happens, the memories, screenshots and friendships I have created will remain, in my mind.

For when I look back at the ashes of my own life , there is nothing but the dull void and pain of utter nothingness ...

But here? Here I can always remember and smile ... from the worst corpse runs to the most annoying players to the best encounters and endless grinding sessions chatting with others and sharing jokes, or simply staring at an endless series of pulls as everybody quietly is playing their characters and filling that yellow bubble before the DING that entails a new milestone reached.

Here there is only joy, bliss and a smile to warm my soul, for I have nothing left in the world but my remaining loved ones, some of them as scattered and lost and bereft of everything that made us who we are.

I dont know they if they have Everquest to rely on to soothe their souls, but I know how it feels to not have it.

And so, seeing Death here, is ... shocking, for it always pursue us, even if we avoid it.

So for Brad, hope he died well, doing what he loved and in peace, and if not, I will remember him nonetheless as the person that left a portion of his own soul in this place, just as I have poured some of mine here as well.

No one knows what lies in the other side, but I hope that whatever awaits him is bliss and peaceful.

Also a big hug to everybody here, for we all are, sadly, mortal.

Much love to everyone, hug anyone you can , live here, outside, in rl or virtual life, but live, enjoy, enjoy the things you want, do it now, do not wait.

You never know when it will end, so enjoy it while it lasts and while you can.

Hugs, kisses and even more love to everyone here, you all weird people as weird as me 8)

Love from the lonely Isthmus in my exile.:)