For luxury services, you need to include a way to contact offline porters.

Way back when I played regularly, I had players that I could batphone at off-hours that were bound at OT hammer and could log online within 3 minutes notice. Granted, I tipped 500pp to 2k for ports during off-hours. Think the most I ever did was 3 pieces of ES (~5k). Pretty easy to have an email linked to your phone that you only give out to high-rollers.

Thank you for your suggestion. I should probably set something up like that. If dial a port has a batphone they dont publicize it.

You really just need to find the 2015-equivalents to guys like Svenn, Jeremy, Loraen, Tecmos, etc.

Greetings from the <Law Offices of Norrath>!

I have been retained for 60 days to deal with the issue of <Dial a Port>. Its not clear what I am supposed to help with yet but I would like to thank expediency for hiring me and giving me this chance. If you needed a roleplay lawyer, you came to the right place!

Meanwhile, in EFP.

http://i.imgur.com/oSwEbeD.jpg

When your group has gone astray, call Dial-A-Port we'll take you right away.

When you're looking for a better place to play, Dial-A-Port will be online all day.

Remember kids, CR's are FREEEEEE

-The World Famous Mcporty Express <Dial-A-Port>

So I gave her a good few hours before I decided to say anything.

Everything she says is true.

And everything she will try to say about cornering the "market" won't work. We have tested, implemented, and made happen everything she could possibly think of.

Expendiency is behind with the times, but I do admire your attempt to overthrow something as big as we are.

I will say this time and time again, come home sister and we will show you the way.

I've been getting a lot of feedback on this in game! I'm not going to name any names, but if guys can not see that my trade war over the last 6 months was roleplaying and that this post is satire then I cant do anything for you.