http://i.imgur.com/KbKi9yW.jpg

Hammerbeard first challenged the suitor dwarves
To fetch two bits of bone and two bat wings
From the surrounding hills, to prove
That they valued the foundation of marriage.

Grumphilda, a tempestuous beauty,
Grew tired of these boring games most quickly.
She demanded her suitors wrestle for her hand!
To prove that they were not brave, but also had brawn.

Let it be known that doe-eyed Grumphilda
Sighed many nights, and in her secret heart
still longed for the warm embrace of her intended
That heroic halfling that perished in the ocean.

Grumphilda watched with considerable glee
as the dwarven men wrestled in the grass and dirt
After several hours, she had had enough
And Hammerbeard laid precedent for the third trial

http://i.imgur.com/scjmtLW.jpg

“A race from the gates of Kaladim to the docks!”
Hammerbeard declared. “And then my daughter
Shall decide for whom she has the most desire
to give her hand for eternal marriage!”

The falcons flying above Butcherblock
that day, had never before seen dwarves
Fly with such speed upon the rock face
Of that lowly world.

At length, Grumphilda declared Stolie
The winner of their race. And she designed
to take his hand for marriage. For Stolie
had proved most admirable of all the Suitors.

http://i.imgur.com/4zd0gDf.jpg
After a much needed feast, the proceedings
began. The ceremony was held by the sea
Grimbil the halfling Cleric presided as officiator.
Things were merry. The weather warm. Grumphilda happy!

http://i.imgur.com/XICybNK.jpg

~~10~~

Sing to me, o' Muse of the starry sky!
Finish your tale of the hero of the Vale!
Who for months was tossed between the waves
and hounded by the ill-favors of the Gods.

Filbus steered the ship toward the Butcher docks
But being an ill-trained seaman, he crashed
the ship into a cove on the northern coast.
He stood upon the poopdeck and studied the beach.

He could not believe his eyes!! GRUMPHILDA!!
She was being married away at that very second.
Filbus raised his hands, entreating Rallos Zek
“GIVE ME YOUR STRENGTH, O' GOD OF WAR!”

A single bolt of lightning arced across
The sky, from the heights of heaven, to the
Hand of Filbus, who called this act of God.
The halfling caught the lightning. His eyes flashed.

In his hands had appeared an epic sword
Charged by the Rage of Rallos Zek himself
Glowing red and blue with the nascent power
Held within that ancient, runed blade.

http://i.imgur.com/1OfFKHw.jpg

The wind whispered Grimbil Higgin's speech
he called for any objections any had for the wedding
And Filbus roared across a league, “I OBJECT!”
Then leaped from the poop deck into the surf.

No dolphin could ever yearn to move
As Filbus did, so wrathfully, so fast
Did he carve his way through the surf
and to the soil shoreline of Butcherblock.

He saw Stolie the Strong leaning in to kiss
Grumphilda, Filbus' own intended, to steal
his only beloved lover, O' pretty dwarf!
Filbus let fly his last soaked arrow.

The muses sing still of that fated missile
How true it struck the neck of Stolie
Traveling a distance of three hundred yards
Stolie fell dead, clutching the arrow in his neck.

http://i.imgur.com/H9dPeX0.jpg

The other Suitors had heard legend
of the mighty Filbus. But brave they were
And so they made to cut him with axes
to club him with staffs, slash with swords!

But what chance did they hope to have?
Filbus, filled with the wrath of a cheated husband
Wielding the blade of Rallos Zek himself!
The combat was fierce and instantaneous.

For each time the Jagged Sword was swung
Another dwarf fell to the ground, slain.
Filbus was a wolverine in a box of hens
At last, his final battle was over.

http://i.imgur.com/VmHTPSn.jpg

So it was that Filbus turned to Grumphilda
They shared many sweet, candied words
Grumphilda's tears washed the blood
from Filbus' gauntlets and face.

Grimbil was most pleased by the prank
As he was a true priest of the Bristlebane.
He wed them then and there, over the bodies
of the fallen suitors, those who vied against Filbus.

http://i.imgur.com/w8tG8of.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/LnGfHKA.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/A85s8hb.jpg

Giddily, Filbus took Grumphilda's hand
Wed forever! O' Happy joy of joys!
They stepped over the blood-soaked bodies
and made their way to some place more secluded.

As they strolled, hearts sweet as honey
Filbus cursed in his soul the god Bristlebane
and Cazic-Thule, and all those who designed
To make him lose his sweet honey Jumjum.

He explained to Grump that he was now
a loyal servant of that great god Rallos Zek
And that it would be his duty to bring war
To all the lands, to raze all the villages.

Did Grumphilda not then, smile sweetly?
On the weary face of her heroic husband.
She shifted herself out of her underclothings
And taught Filbus the dwarvish ways of love.

http://i.imgur.com/T6UVww0.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/Py5cpx4.jpg

~~THE END~~

bravo!

I think you may need to find another wench or you may always be wondering if those are really your boots beneath the bed?

-MB

Have you learned nothing from this thread? Casting aspersions on Filbus' lady is not only spitting in the face of a love that has conquered an entire world's worth of obstacles, but probably a really good way to get your head sliced off and stuffed up your ass

Filbus, you are the bravest hoobit in all of Norrath. May Grumphilda bear you many healthy offspring so your bloodline never perishes. By the looks of her, your young are sure to be stout lads and lasses, indeed.

Thanks for sharing your journey with us. This server needs more people like you.

Excellent job! Furyfoot and Furyface together at last.

In all my travels, one thing I hope to never experience is to be flung by my sausage into shark-infested waters, or anywhere else for that matter. I'll have to tread carefully around Filbus. ;)