Project 1999 - Altfest 2019 , wipe my ass, this server is about to thrive

Hey, it's motherfucking Devolved. TLDR, you don't have to read any of the shit after this paragraph, but I want to roll a new character and then twink just a bit, and have some group members to speed up the grind. I'm feeling a fresh 1-60 and if anyone else is, hit me up on here. I don't care about your past affiliations. I've been gone for over a year. Alright, sweet, so, here's the interesting shit that the trolls want to be fed.

I'm not remembered for my PvP skill, or my exaggerated gay "slow landed big bois" accent I would announce in raids when we finally fucking landed one on Vulak, or the fact that my character's surname is the chemical term for heroin. If Red99 is the drugbox, then I am Walter White, and Jesse Pinkman, and my story trumps Agatha's shit by a whole goddamn universe. You think there's a bunch of super high elf-sim addicts on Red that pull in a government check and sell Fungis, and a good majority of the time you might be right back in the day. But guess what? The truly addicted don't elf sim when the drugs run out. They make sure there's always more. 30v50 Plane of Fear for forum bragging rights and a skeleton neck is the epitome of some of you fucking nerds on a Red99 Saturday night back in the day when we were rolling 300 deep and Mr. Bigs was arresting someone with the Unrest County Police every 45 minutes. But the hardcore drugbox kingpin? The night Apex killed Vulak for the first time and my boy Raksiss got his boots, and I got Vyemm's eye, I also served four or five junkies about two grand worth of china white, another couple some orange panda forties, and I got my dick sucked by a bartender from TGI Friday's for a few lines of shitty coke and a triple stack of MDMA …. while I was buffing Hector and Ordaga and asking Callisto for Virtues, only to click it off and ask Nutnut for a POTG cuz I Forgot about the fucking mana regen …. then I would land a slow on the damn dragon, register a vein and slam a tenth, and talk shit about Darkone and what a no life faggot he was for logging in twice, fifteen minutes apart exactly, once a day between 3am and 4am (when Apex raid was over and we'd be scattered around Norrath)...to harm touch whoever was farming seafuries and get his no-skill YT on the board for the day.

It seems like him and most of the other dipshits are gone and have given up, just like they have on life, but here's the story of why I finally disappeared for good … and it wasn't because I was tired of the server.

Before I logged in the other day, I had just finished up 4 years of interstate compact felony probation after a first degree forgery charge, because I was an old school Florida/Georgia/West Va/TN pill mill peddler back in the day, and I slipped up one time and made a typo. Someone in a high place noticed the inaccuracy, which led the authorities to the conclusion that every single ID I held in the seven states I held one in, all my utility bills used to obtain said IDs that I'd faked at the DMV, and all the MRI scans from the dozen pain clinics I was visiting that showed my back lit up like Agatha's ballsack after a foil boat toke off a fresh OC80.....all fake and very illegal. I almost got away with it, did about six figures worth of scheduled narcotics for a miniscule fraction of what people pay on the street for the shit today, and made another five figure sum off all the hustling. I almost got away with all of it when they finally rolled out a state-to-state national script database near the end of 2012 and it killed our ring for good, when Purdue pharma's "opiate epidemic" was just starting to force people into dope because their thousands of roxies were getting yanked away by the DEA. My life story is a fucking wild one and many Red vets knew I was into some heavy shit, but since I'm the type of dude who literally is not ashamed and has no fucks to give after surviving a few months hard time in Fulton county in Atlanta when there were 72 gangsters and 2 other white dudes in my pod. Nerds on red never tilted me, but damn, I sure stirred up a lot of salt when I wanted to. Here are some of the better moments I remember.

So I quit like a week after Colgate logged in and tried to sabotage our first successful Vyemm kill, maybe a month after Tempest became Apex? The guilds were Thunderdome, some other PvP rival guild that had different names at different times … between Hokuten and Cold War Kids and fucking whatever else I can't remember who they were. Akinn was with them, and all his little circle jerk PvPers.

Before that, I quit for 2 years but raided with Holocaust when I originally made this character. I've been with certain factions of players at certain times depending on whether it was Kunark or Velious. I got trained by Lite and camped by Complexity when I was in Holo, and I got assfucked by Vanco's Twisted Steel Bastard Sword when he caught me after porting out of one of Tune's ToV raids near the end of the night.

So before you accuse me of being Jibekn or some other faggot, I'm back and I can use my ToV geared shaman to wreck your fucking face if you wanna grief my alt and whoever else is brave enough to grind with me. Maybe we'll make a guild with some type of edgy name like some of you have.

Make an alt and grind with me, so people who hate me will make alts to come kill us. It'll be fun.

You wanted to know why it was starting to pop off a little bit, and the answer is me, bitches. We will restore Red to its former glory and reveal who the drugbox kingpin really is.

Ciao.