ATTN: BIG DOG ROG - My Long Requested, Overdue, Informal GUIDE APP
 

Dear Rogean,

You have PM'd me on Snapchat many times asking for my application to be a Guide to the Project 1999 Server. After beholding the righteous Name Cleansing of 2018 begin, I have decided it is time for me to Step Up 2: the Streets.

My mission as your newest and most powerful Senior Guide is to ensure that the quality of Project 1999 reaches a new zenith under my totalitarian and genocidal rule.

As a Senior Guide, I will:

• Destroy all ILLEGAL names
• Shoot first, ask questions later
• Judiciously target Staff Bashers who are in arms against the Justified Name Cleansing
• Become the main GM Scapegoat for all player rage
• Consume 50mg THC edibles prior to making important raid decisions
• Create an alt forum account to incite Staff Bashing on the forums, so that we can ban undesirables ... inspired by CIA tactics
• Give Spyder73 the surname "Poo'taint" and then BAN him
• DOXX Spyder73
• Award all Hobbits for their participation
• Ban all players who use VOIP services (not classic)
• Enforce a /say, /shout ONLY rule for communication to maximize RP

Here is a list of my Qualifications

• 150 WPM
• 1 hour weekly average of /played
• Young DoctorLawyer
• Millionaire
• 10/10 in my lap
• ForumsQuest Master
• Banned multiple times on Forums
• Proven track record of Cyber Bullying, Verbal Abuse (expert)
• Business
• MS Paint
• No interest in Raid Scene
• Masturbates to Roleplay threads
• will Ban Spyder73, finally

I believe that my long bullet points speak for themselves.

Dear readers, I would appreciate your support. Please comment on this thread if you think i would be the ideal candidate for the new most powerful Guide.

Also, please let the haters display their colors here for my LIST. (note: Rogean, my haters ALL violate naming conventions)

There are a few things that I learned from reading the entire name change thread. The most prominent of which was that skarlorn is hilarious.

I bet you would actually make a good guide.

Do you have any references that are not family?

You realize if made gm and with suspension powers, the servers would only have halflings running around after like 1 hour.

10/10

Think I will pay Mayor Gubbin a visit tonight. Clan Wu'Tang does not suffer insults from Hobbit folk (who cant even be Monks because of inferior genetics).

C U REAL SOON PAL

You have to eat them an hour before making those important decisions; edibles take time to work man!

I heard they drop you off on Sentinel Island and must survive a week before even considering an app.

Halflings can't be monks because they are the bane of Norrath. They're made by the unholy god of Customer Surveys, least that's what Brad told me.

App approved by me. /em eats his tagglefoot brownie.