This is everyone in FL right now
 

You can tell who the freshmen are at the university, since they're the only ones still wearing shorts when it gets below 70.

i wear shorts year round, keeping sperm count up all part of the white man's burden

Wearing coats outside for 3 weeks out of the year struggling.

Sorry knuck, we don't speak cuban, and not all of us are from africa and enjoy scorching heat.

It gets hotter across probably 2/3 of the US than it ever does in FL. Across the midwest, you might see 30-40 days per year at 100+, while in Miami, it has reached 100 exactly once since 1895.

http://i.imgur.com/nbdC6hs.png

At least it's not humid-hot

Any clime and place where I could take a gun

It's not the heat that gets you, it's the humidity. I've been in 115+ weather in southern california that felt like 70s, and I've been in 80 degree weather in the deep south and ended up with heat exhaustion.

Well, scorching heat implies high temperature. You don't get scorched by mid 90s temp and mid 90s humidity. Smothering heat would be a better term for Florida summers.