Help me with my *ZONK* Christmas present
 

Every year for Christmas, my family buys hokey/stupid (read: inexpensive) things for each other, we wrap them, and then everyone draws 5 numbers out of a hat and we all take our turns picking presents. It is a pretty effective way of getting through the holiday season without having to spend Mastercard's money.

My trademark move is to hide one extra present in the stack which is always edible, fully prepared, and [debateably] ready to eat. I just stick whatever I make in a box, and then I wrap that box. No care is placed into securing the food or preventing contamination with the wrapping materials. You're really not supposed to eat it.

By the time you open it, it's been moved around, held upside down, shaken, stirred, thrown into a trunk, driven dozens of miles and just generally abused.

In other words: It's just a nasty mess. Merry Christmas!

Some favorites from past years:

Tuna sandwich
Eggs over-easy with wheat toast, hash browns, bacon and fresh fruit
Crab legs, sauteed asparagus, fully loaded baked potato, beer
Chili con carne

Now that you know the back story, I'm trying to decide what to prepare for this year's food zonk, and I figured the p99 community was probably a safe place to turn when I'm in-need of something sensorially offensive.

Thanks in advance!

Here ya go sir. Just the picture offended me. I am sure the effect in person would be much better. You might want to double bag it as it looks like it would make for a soggy box. (once again no offense to grandma, i just really hate seafood =p)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...3/Cioppino.jpg

Tuna sandwich.... lol

Baked tilapia

tin of fishsteaks partly opened and some deviled eggs

Laughed really hard at this.

I think you should make some bat wing crunchies irl

Candy the edges with brown sugar or something

If the taste is unappealing to humans, present it as a dog treat

Most dogs will eat something like this I think

A hungry dog will eat its own vomit

Jello

Fishsticks w/an autographed picture of Kanye