Project 1999 - Bernie Bro Manifesto REVEALED!

Quote:

I don't care who gets elected if it's not Sanders.

A strong, strong opening.

Quote:

I was going to sit out the election because I loathe politics after being highly active in '08 to get Obama elected.

I am 23 years old.

Quote:

The current system is total garbage, and that's what I want changed

Fucking establishment. Also, I totally almost got laid by a chick who was big into OWS.

Quote:

I'll vote 3rd party or I won't vote.

This is all about me.

Quote:

Hillary is everything that is wrong with politics today. She constantly lies. She's heavily invested into by special interests. That's the shit I want to end

I am easily persuaded by bumper stickers.

Quote:

So pardon me if I don't subscribe to your "but at least she's more closely aligned to my politics beliefs" angle. I don't care.

Got that? Policy don't real, only my feels.

Quote:

I'd rather watch the system go into chaos for the next 4-8 years to spark the change I want than to just accept a substantially worse candidate on the Democratic side.

I am white and from an upper middle class family. Also, I don't know anything about politics.

Quote:

At least Trump winning would be a win from an anti-establishment point of view

I'm really, really white.

Quote:

I want the political system to change.

I don't understand the political system.

Quote:

I want campaign finance reform.

I want a pony.

Quote:

I want a modern Glass Steagall.

Most experts prefer Clinton's plan, here, but FUCK YOU MOM, you can't ground me just for smoking a little fucking weed! Cunt.

Quote:

I want legalized marijuana.

Of course you do, slugger.

Quote:

I want a candidate who believes in something instead of just what is popular that minute.

I got this opinion from my older brother's comments on Metallica after Napster.

Quote:

Hillary is none of that, and therefore she'll never get my vote.

Fuck Lars, too.

Quote:

Sorry.

Killer closing, right Bros?