It's anecdotal but once my instrument/singing skills maxed on my bard on live I almost never missed notes, and I didn't have DEX or CHA anywhere near maxed. Also, missing a note is almost never critical and so rare at high levels I never thought about it.
Probably resists and HP are going to be the most important. I do believe CHA will affect your mezzing/charming success but you aren't doing that most of the time.
In my experience pretty much all bards keep a backpack or two of alternate equipment to switch between melee mode and survivor mode. Melee stuff just being as much +STR stuff as you can stack, and the survivor stuff being mostly HP/resist gear.
If you're kiting, you don't need any gear. But if you're insisting on gearing up, you probably just need HP/resists to help you escape the odd bad pull or wandering caster.
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