Didn't read all of this but I was slamming coke and heroin for about 5 years before I got clean. Have been to rehab 4 times and multiple halfway houses. Luckily have only overdosed 3 times as far as I know.. From these last posts it sounds like you aren't quite ready to quit, and that's alright, man, but it doesn't get better. You think you were going hard before you got clean the first time.. just wait. You'll go harder and harder everytime you go back.
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