http://quon91516.yuku.com/topic/367/...our-group.html
I logged on last night to get a little exp ya know. Been working on AA lately, want to get Run3 so peeps will stop leaving me behind when travelling. That crap is ssoo annoying, and friggin rude.
Anyway, I go /lfg and it's not long before I get an invite to a PoN group. I'm like "What camp?" - "Caves" - /r "cool, Who is in group?" - "chanter, shammy, druid, warrior, rogue" /r "No, I mean who is in the group, names please, I need to make sure none of them are on my SL". At first he is like /boggle , apparantly he hasn't read my rules yet (pub21.ezboard.com/fquon91...=1.topic), but he finally gives me the names of everyone in the group and I check them against my alphabetized excel spreadsheet. Luckily none were on there so I head to PoN. I zone in and do a quick /shout "Quon here, REPRESENT!" , then I spin around and find the guy who sent me the tell. Mouselook spins are the shizznit.
As soon as I get invited to group I start bustin down my expectations.
/tell druid "don't be laying down any gimp heals unless I ask ok? I'll be dropping the Big Heal Bomb so there is no reason for you to waste mana, you should dot or something, or just chill and soak up the exp waiting for us to need an evac." He responds with some garbage about being able to spot heal, nuke, snares etc.. I /r "Please don't argue with the Quon. Besides you're the one who rolled up a Halfling, the least you could have done was make a Wood Elf Honie for me to look at"
/tell enchanter "Yo, KEI. And why do I have to ask you for the only thing you got invited to this group for?"
/tell warrior "I'm going to initiate you into the purple club tonight." He says "?" /r "You'll see soon enough
[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] "..Another person that hasn't read my rules, I'm going to need to get more exposure.
/tell rogue "I bet you can generate a lot of aggro eh?" She says " I sure can
[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] " /r "Well don't, you are dead last on my list of peeps to heal since there is no Ranger in the group." She responded but I was already typing my message to the shaman and I missed it, and didn't feel like scrolling back.
/tell shaman "I'm not sure I trust this enchanter, can you keep an eye on me with root crowd control please?" He's like "I'll do my best" /r "WTF?? If I die, we all go down, you better respect that." I think for a minute about adding him to my @#%$ List for that lame ass attitude, but I let it go this time.
/group "I get all money drops right to replenish my expenditures?" The groupleader, the warrior, says "We'll be splitting any loot at the end." /group "If you all want aego, I better see 60 platz in my trade window" The warrior repeats himself, so I wait for the 40pp to show up in my window. Time wasted 5 minutes. I can see this group is turning out to be very Non-Quonesque.
Buffs done and we rock toward the gobbie cave. I'm amazed that I didn't have to ask for levi and invis with these assclowns.
We set up and the warrior pulls the first 2 gobs. The fingertwiddler to my right manages to mez one so everybody is on the gob. I figure I'm going to go ahead and get the warrior into my purple club right away. (If you don't know what the purple club is by now, go back and read my commandments, it's like the first friggin one.) Warrior gets to about 50% and I ask him, "How many HP's you got?", by the time he responds he's down to like 30%. The timing on this @#%$ has got to be square ya know. I drop the big heal bomb on the meat shield with the Hot Key Macro "<Warrior> may you live to protect The Quon another day". I have like 2 hot key banks full of TIIIGHHT hot key macro messages. Because this clown waited so long to tell me how many HP's he had the heal bomb landed a split second to late. Now we are tankless, and I'm sitting in a frickin cave with 4 asshats and no tank. I think "WWQD?" (What Would Quon Do?), and I'm blessed with the answer, /sit, /load gate, /cast gate, and slicker than @#%$ I'm back in the Nexus safe and sound.
I decide that those freaks don't know WTF they are doing so I /groupsay "Yo, dudes, I'm gonna bust outta here and see if I can get a PoV group, Caves exp suxxors. And FYI, next time you want to group with me, someone in the group needs to read the commandments, Yo". /disband
The Quon". I want the respect, I want the platinum, I want the excitement, and I want the Wood Elf Honies all on my tip. Yeah..."The Quon". Represent.
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http://quon91516.yuku.com/topic/381/...ns-crotch.html
Roleplayers. The Quon doesn't get it. The Quon doesn't want to. And let's be real. The Quon doesn't have to and neither do you.
The Quon has had to endure a certain level of contact with Roleplayers over the levels. He see's it as a necessary evil. Along the way to god-hood, a little give and take is sometimes required to keep the wheels of xp greased. We've all had run-ins with that punk ass Druid who won't kill animals no matter how sweet the xp. Or that fucktard who won't kill his own race. Weak. At first The Quon tried to educate these dingleberries about the whackness inherent in their logic. "Dude, this Orc hasn't ever seen your lands, he don't know you ruined them and besides that, fuck him". But eventually The Quon put his blinders on and went about the business of level lapping these self-handicapped freaks 10 times over. Cause that's how you can identify "most" of the roleplayers, they're level 35...for-fucking-ever. They've got 8 character, all level 15 to 35. The Quon wants to know the point.
But now that he's the MC The Quon won't tolerate these assclowns.
So when The Quon found himself in PoJ cell group last night with an MA who obviously juggled turds as a side job at the Renaissance Fair, he knew it was on. Everything was going just fine for the most part. Respects had been paid, rules were being observed and shit. We were chugging through the xp at a decent pace.
The tank comes back empty handed on a pull and I'm all like "WTF?". And the rest of the group's looking at The Quon just waiting to back his play. The tank says, "Nothing down there to pull. Just humanoids". And The Quon is all like, "You better pull that shit! The Quon needs RUN3 tonight so he can leave all the newbs behind and hit PoV." And the Shammy's all like "Newbs?", like he was offended or something. The Quon squashed that shit with a quickness though, "You heard me mothaphucka...do something." And he was all quiet after that. Respect.
So get this, the tank actually stops looking for mobs and comes back to the camp, stands in front of me and starts teaching like he's a professor or something. "I'm a Humanoid, we're all humanoids. It would be a slap in the face of our gods to kill others like us. There's plenty of other mobs here to chose from without offending our dieties."
After a minute to stop giggling, cause The Quon SO knows what the future holds, The Quon says, "You don't do certain things you don't want to do, then blame it on the will of your god and everything's cool? Nice deal. Good to know." And this guy seems all pleased and shit like he blew The Quon's mind or something.
So we continue on for a bit and all seems forgotten.
On the next pull, The Quon watches as this door-knobs health went down faster than a Wood Elf Honie looking for a Rez in The Quons pocket. ("It's down there baby...keep looking"). I enjoy this because I knows what's coming. "HEAL". The Quon, of course, does not. What I do though is call out "The Big Heal Bomb is Inc on Warrior. But I never cast that shit. Instead The Quon loads gate and once I'm sure the Warrior is gonna take a dirt nap I say "I think you're a fuck-wit. I don't wanna heal you and Tunare says she's with me on it. Roleplayers should shampoo my crotch. Peace out".
And I'm gone.
Now who's the teacher mothaphucka.