If you want something your wife will be able to easily shoot, .45 is probably not your best option. If you are set on .45, I'd suggest some sort of 1911 - just something inherently right about that design.
Why only those two rounds? I'd suggest looking at something in 40 S&W as a middle ground personally (buddy of mine has a 226 in .40 that has always been a joy to shoot). Also, if concealment is your goal, don't discount wheel guns. I know a lot of people don't like revolvers because they don't look tacti-cool, but as far as the ability to conceal and reliability, they're hard to beat. And if you can't get it done with 6, you shouldn't be carrying anyway.
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