Cyber with The Quon
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So I'm medding in the Nexus and I'm weeding through the barrage of "group with me Quon" and "We need you for uber xp Quon" tells I always get as soon as I log in, when out of the blue I get a random /tell from some honie.
"FUCK you Quon".
I'm pretty sure I remember this scooties name so I check on my Shit List first to see if she has upset the Quon in the past. Nope. I check my other Excel list "Honies I want to Cyber with". It takes a hot second though cause it's a monster Excel joint, and I'm all about enabling macros and shit. Yep, she's there and I have her stats too, sweet little inky enchantress with perkies and maxed out DEX and AGI, you know what I'm sayin. A bit low on INT for a caster but Quon was only looking to "group" with her in the loosest sense of the word. (Don't forget to ask The Quon about the night he spent "2-boxing" some other time...bwahhhh)
Lady Marmalade is a little fast on the draw, all wanting to jump right into the final act before we can do a little pre-lovin. I try to slow the shiznit down by throwin back some sweet nothings to her. Cause the one thing my grandma told me that I'll always remember is "Quon, you gotta lick it before you stick it". So I'm all like.../r "Yo baby, I want it bad as you, I ain't never had no blue stuff, but daamn girl you shakin like J-Lo on crack. What you say me and you tangle our tongues before we do the nasty?" And I say it just like that cause the honies love it when The Quon comes at them all hard verbally and shit.
She responds with "OMG!", I can almost hear this chick moaning out The Quon's name as she's typing, like she was washing her hair in one of those cracked out shampoo commercials.
I'm all like screw it if she wants it that bad who am I to hold out on her. So I put it all on the table.../r "Come on over here Smurfette and rub your Orbs and you Infinite Void on me. Let the Quon show you how to get Shizzle with the Bizzle." Cause I know that will get her all hot and shit. I continue cause I don't want to lose the flow.../r "Sweet thing I got more moves than a Grandmaster Monkey, you and me were meant to do the Kunark Krotch Rock, awww yeeea we're gettin freaky now aren't we baby?" And I'm really into it so I stand up at my cpu and start gyrating my hips and I'm hollaring at the top of my lungs..."Feel It, Feel It!", until my moms screams up at me and I sit down and get back to it.
So this DE is all like "Welcome to my list!"
I'm all like, Sweeeet. Cause regular cyber kicks ass. So I tell her, /r "That's the stuff baby, you're on my list too. Write this shit down. I give her this laundry list of what Quon needs to have done for him to "DING" if you catch what i'm saying. And Quid Pro Quon like, I ask her to give me her list so I can help her with her "Alternate Advancement". (Yeeeahhh).
She doesn't respond, I figure she's got her hands too busy to reply. I fire off some more sexual healing for my new Inky Cyber Buddy.../r "You're crazy hot for The Quon ain't ya? You can't help that you dig tha flava. The Quon just summoned his Hammer of Divinity and it proc's like a muthaphucka. And just when you can't take anymore, I'll toss my 'lil Hammer Pet around the back way on ya. Free your mind and your ass will follow."
This chick has got to be steamin hot by now, and I'm rubbing my Thumb over Firiona Vie's plastic boobies trying not to spill my SoW Potion too fast, it's time to take this shiaat to the next level.../r "Let's stop with this lame ass typin shit, fire off your digits to me, and send me your pic via email to
TheQuon2003@yahoo.com, I'll talk at ya. Yo"
When she sends the pic I'll post it, she'll be whack ass embarrassed but at least I got mine.
Quon out
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Awesome stuff
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