I knew I shouldn't have clicked on this thread. It's pretty gross.
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I do have a poop story though. When my son was 2 weeks old and needed his diaper changed I went and sat on the sofa to do it there. I was wearing a long skirt so when I sat down I ended up kinda laying him on it.
So I take off his diaper and turned to grab a clean one, along with his wipes and baby powder, when all of a sudden this tiny little demon's ass explodes all over my lap... my favorite skirt... my sofa... some of it even splashed onto my carpeted floor.
I froze in shock for a moment just thinking "no... that did NOT just happen". Then I started crying (I blame the hormones - Lol). To add insult to injury he fucking peed in my face as I started cleaning him up!
Babies are evil.