Unfortunately no, you cannot loot someone's gear, just their coin. To protect yourself, regularly either bank your money, or go to a gem vendor and buy gems. That way they can't get anything if you die.
People regularly trade in gems rather than coin. The peridot is the most common form of gems that people use as currency, since it's close to 10 plat per peridot, depending on charisma. Gargoyle eyes are also approximately 10 plat, but vendors don't have unlimited supplies of those.
Hitpoints and resists are always good. I actually carry separate mana gear to switch into when I need more mana. If you run out of mana, you go meditate. If you run out of hitpoints, it's time for a corpse run.
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