[maskedmelon]

Too long has the Ivory Throne of Luna's Sea sat cold and vacant, the warmth of living flesh and seething flame of power all but forgotten to her empty sear and high back. Too long have our people suffered leaderless in the fickle shadows of uncertainty and perverse liberties, amok the ways that are right and good. For shame! Too long in the black crevices of decorum and protocol have wrongdoers schemed in dark ambition!*

TOO LONG have the wicked wrought ruin upon the fields of our people, lost and leaderless beneath the dark pall of abandonment.

Too long have our people endured no rule.

Too long.


Your bold claim comes as a breath of fresh air in the growing stench of foul things. Our esteemed Society, found of ambition and virtuous intent sought to right the wrongs, the degeneracy and stagnation in mortal combat with good works. Devoid explicit leadership, in collaborative spirit we have won gains, great and small and all manners between.

Let not our success in the shifting face of adversity occlude *our profound longing for consolidated authority. Your claim is sorely desired.

As Adjudicator of Indecision and Orator of Superfluous Nothings and Chronicler and Archivist of our Great Society of Retarded Posters, and Prophet of Naught, it is incumbent upon me to query an y such claimant on matters of law and lore and faith, such that fraudulent claims might be known to all who lay eyes upon them and that the unholy wrath might befall he who dares make mockery of our Eminence in Absence, Supreme Leader & Caliph.

Tell us. Pray do not disappoint.