See if this helps. I had a friend reinstall lately and had the same issues. This is from an older installation guide: (I've removed parts from it that you said you've already done)
1) After install of EQ: (For consistency, I'm going to assume you installed EQ to C:\Everquest so that the eqgame.exe path is C:\Everquest\eqgame.exe.)
2) Right-click on the eqgame.exe icon within your everquest folder, select Create Shortcut.
3)Right-click on the Shortcut to eqgame.exe you created in step (2). Select Properties.
4) In the Properties menu that appears, edit the target line to say "C:\EverQuest\eqgame.exe" patchme. The quotes are only needed around the destination string if it contains spaces. Select Apply and then OK to close the properties box.
5) Open the C:\Everquest\eqhost.txt file in the text editor of your choice.
6) Delete whatever is in the eqhost.txt file and replace it with the following two lines:
[LoginServer]
Host=login.eqemulator.net:5998
7) Save and close the eqhost.txt file.
11) Start EQ via the shortcut for the eqgame.exe process you created in step four (4).
12) Log into the server with the account you created at EQEmulator.org.
13) Select Project1999: The Ruins of Kunark from the server list.
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