Misty Cries! - Charm & Good Cheer
Charlie had grown disagreeable, insolent. His powerful arms hung loosely at his sides as he stared stubbornly at one if the slime covered walls outside the stables. Lumadwen had warned them of this and now it was happening. Somehow, the great clay golem was resisting the pale elf's charm. It did not wish to be pet to the enchanter and fought with a strength of will unlike any Tekila had ever seen from a mindless mass of animated clay.
Tekilia chewed her lip bashfully as she thought of what it might be like to be a pet. Lumadwen floated not far behind her. Even in his current state as an amorphous wisp of air he was strangely alluring. Tekilia found herself dwelling too heavily on the issue and redirected her attention to Charlie.
Dispose of him the next time he comes at me Lumadwen had instructed her and her very special blueberry in his soothing voice. Tekilia turned to her blueberry. The wickedly playful little creature stood grinning mischievously behind Charlie, some delightfully sinister plan had no doubt hatched behind that pretty little face. Tekilia smiled. Charlie bolted for Lumadwen and Tekilia was upon him in a flash.
"Time to die, Charlie!" She cried as she leaped into the air delivering a crushing blow to the golem's lumpy head as the edge of one of her delicate silk-slippered feet sank like a knife into the dense red clay of its arm. Tekilia taunted her foe,
"Fight me you hoebag!"
Charlie stopped mid stride and spun to face the mouthy monk. Tekilia's assault did not waver as she wove between the vicious swipes of the great golem's massive arms.
"I'll save you my skinny bitch!" cried Erowen as she leaped from the shadows, thrusting wildly at the golem from behind. Like a rabid weasel on a hare the beautiful little creature thrashed madly at the golem's back.
Tekilia thrust one of of her thick rods into the soft clay of the golem's belly, but the beast seemed not to care. She squinted as the towering construct was wreathed in flame. Xeneker snorted as the incantation completed. Tekilia felt the immense heat as the elemental slashed furiously at the golem while its master Gomemagician spectated comfortably from the rear alcove.
Jenekin re-constituted itself and joined the fray while his master sat idly as a pile of bones, embracing a slow death as his very life force was steadily converted to magical energies. Ssazuk rose.
"Ahhh, thank you [a haze golem]," hissed the skeleton in his natural lizard voice.
Offdaheezy scratched his great ass with a meaty hand as he stood to grant Tekilia and her blueberry the regeneration of his foul master. The fat ogre cringed, glancing fearfully about as he invoked
His name, drawing the incantation to climax.
The golem fell to the ground as Tekilia's heavy rod drained the last of its unnatural energy. Erowen pounced on its back and continued to hack away a she retrieved her weapons - they had be lost in the frenzy - from the now unrecognizable mass if red clay,
A glimmer caught Ssazuk's sharp lizard eyes. He went to retrieve the object and declared his find to the party, an emerald ring.
"Mine!" Tekilia cried authoritatively invoking the power of the fates. She shivered withdrawing one if her magical dice from her pants and rolled it as she dashed off towards the temple. It could have been any number from 0 to 100, but
this time, it was 88! Tekilia smiled victoriously. Accusations of cheating fell from the mouths of her disgruntled comrades as they tried vainly in opposition of the will of the fates to beat her glorious roll.
"But you don't need anymore rings," they objected.
"I need one for each for my fingers," she countered.
"You've already got one on every finger."
Tekilia looked at her hands and then assessed her inventory. It defied logic, but somehow they
appeared to be in the right. She wasn't sure how, but she
knew otherwise.
"No, I do not," she returned flatly as she rushed up the stairs within the temple.
"You've got rings on your toes," they insisted. Tekilia paused and wondered how they knew about her toe rings. She studied her slippered feet in the torchlight of the temple stairwell and noticed a faint metallic sparkle whisper from behind the thin silk veil of her slippers. They were right of course, but beautiful toes deserved nothing less than beautiful adornment. She was not going to let on that they her companions were right though.
"Hah!" She scoffed as she loosed a summoned throwing dagger at an unsuspecting phantom.
"Tekilia! This is a string of factually inaccurate text because you were too lazy to go research this tidbit before publishing!" it hissed at her.
"Toe rings would hurt and make it difficult to run with as active as I am," she deflected and indeed they did...
"I hope you're ready because I'm coming with an apparation on my ass!," she hollered to her groupmates as she approached their camp, her bosom bouncing with great jubilance as her delicate feet kissed the ground.
"I'm ready!" Enthusiastically returned her mischievous little blueberry.
The phantom stood no chance as it entered the camp. It angrily raked the air about Tekilia, failing spectacularly to match the monk's speed and cunning. Xeneker and Jenekin rushed to intercept the infiltrator.
"Leave my monkey slut alone!" cried Erowen as she joined the melee, her fine sword and great spear thrusting deeply into the phantom's body.
The phantom dropped in short order like a torn sack, settling on the slimy City pavers as a sticky white sheet of incorporeal residue. The fat ogre rose and went to pick through the sticky stain.
"Ooo Offdaheezy find a shiny," he said proudly displaying a star ruby all but lost in the pinch of his two fat fingers. It reminded Tekilia of what happened when she wore necklaces.
"Mine!" She exclaimed, once more invoking the power of the fates as she withdrew a magical die from her pants and rolled it. It could have been a any number from 0 to 100, but
this time it was 27! Tekilia glowered at the die before scooping it up and stuffing it back in her pants. The fates had abandon her.
Tekilia stalked off to the courtyard in search of something to vent her frustrations on as the others rolled their dice. Gnomemagician cheered wildly as he cast the winning roll. Tekilia stomped angrily on a haze golem's limp tail and smacked it between the legs with one of her sticks, right in the soft clay!
"I hope you're ready because I'm coming with a haze golem," she barked to her groupmates as she headed back to camp.
"I'm ready!" Cried her blueberry. Tekilia smiled. She'd have the next shiny.
When they'd finished pummeling the golem, Tekilia plopped down on her ass smearing clay all over herself as she tried to wipe it off. Offdaheezy stood abruptly. Scratching his fat ogre ass he said,
"Offdaheezy need go"
"No, you may not leave," Tekikia replied sternly, still unhappy about losing the roll and growing frustrated with the sticky red clay on her sticks and skin.
"Offdaheezy has da hungy," he pleaded. His great belly rumbled.
"No, you must stay. Sit down now" Tekilia replied more warmly, but still stern and tinged with frustration. Offdaheezy shifted uncomfortably. Licking his lips, he glanced furtively at Gnomemagician
"Offdaheezy need go!" He exclaimed, "Offdaheezy go now!"
And with that the big fat ogred sprinted off with all the speed of the wolf. His unease and shifting eyes had not gone unnoticed to Tekilia. He was obviously very hungry, very near the tipping point for an ogre. He had demonstrated considerable restraint in not devouring Gnomemagician in front of them.sad
The little man was furious, but for another reason.
"That ogre left with the star ruby!
My star ruby! He never gave it to me!"
Tekilia and Erowen attempted to quell the little gnome's fury, offering to slaughter the next Ogre they encountered in retribution. It would not do though. He demanded genocide, so the three agreed to raze Oggok at a future date. The gnome seemed pleased and the battle for the lost souls of the City of Mist resumed.
And so it was that Tekilia Pu'Tang, Bane of Mistmoore, Butcher of Crushbone, Savior of Faydark, Defender of Freeport, Master Fister, Wearer of Fine Pants, Heir to the Throne of the Pu'Tang Empire, found favor and fine things among the sticky halls of the City of Mist.