[Secrets]

The Eagles won't have a winning record

The Eagles won't be relevant in the playoff picture

The Eagles won't make the playoffs

The Eagles won't win the division

The Eagles won't have a first round BYE

The Eagles won't be the first seed

The Eagles won't win any playoff games

The Eagles won't make it to the Super Bowl

The Eagles won't win the Super Bowl

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The Eagles won't break Meek Mill out of prison

The Eagles won't win political positions of power

The Eagles won't be able to afford a jet fueled rocket

The Eagles won't be able to launch the jet fueled rocket

The Eagles won't use the same technology to start a new space race

The Eagles won't send the jet fueled rocket to the Gulf of Mexico as a show of power over Dallas

The Eagles won't be able to start a police state and take over the City of Philadelphia

The Eagles won't have their fans elect Nick Foles as the President of the United States

The Nation of the Philadelphia Eagles won't nuke North Korea

The Nation of the Philadelphia Eagles won't colonize Mars

The Global Federation of the Philadelphia Eagles won't establish a new world order

The Intergalactic Federation of the Philadelphia Eagles won't colonize the Milky Way galaxy