Anyway OP you probably aren't going to die for a huge number of years. I know it's shitty because you don't think it be like it is, but it do.
[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] You can skip arguing with me about this and stay wrong btw!
I'd recommend going back on your pills, maybe find something that works for you this time instead of giving up immediately.
Try olanzapine