Dang. If you had a separate cable modem and router you could try just plugging your computer into the cable modem with no router / nat / switch in the middle to rule out networking issues on your end.
You could try temporarily using the DMZ feature of the router...
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ADVANCED > Setup > WAN Setup
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You could also try to not run it in router mode
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ADVANCED > Administration > Router Mode.
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This will make the device just a cable modem and not route traffic or do NAT at all
Both of the above are not ideal to run permanently; and will make your computer vulnerable to the outside world. Just trying to rule out networking issues.
You said your old cable modem worked fine. If you disable the "router" functionality of this device and only use it as a cable modem and you still have issues then I would think it can be isolated with the cable modem function of the device. Maybe try to do a factory reset and/or run the setup wizard again.
It's a fairly popular router/modem. I don't see too many complaints with connectivity issues. There was an issue with the modem droping connections but it was resolved with a router firmware update/flash. You mentioned you're up to date on that.
Other silly idiot checks I can think of right now would be to try changing the DNS on the router to something else. Also time/date being off on the router can cause issues (especially certificate issues) but not all consumer grade routers allow altering the time/date.
Also, have you tried any of the other servers on the EQemulator list ? PEQ server for example just to see if you get the same problems.