Quote:
Originally Posted by magnetaress
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Honestly I just want to go to hospice or get pain meds and start the process of dying now.
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Unfortunately I think you gotta have a terminal illness to qualify for hospice, and oddly enough they don't consider being bored of EQ a terminal illness. Funny how they split hairs. Maybe some day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by magnetaress
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Well. I don't want to be overly dramatic butt EQ was one of my last habits that got me out of bed at all. I actually stretched and exercised and ate food so I could sporadically spend EQ time soloing between long afks.
This Christmas was really nice with family and physically rough tho. And I'm realizing that while EQ is my only escape from a completely crippled body it's not fun anymore. It's just something I am doing because I don't have the capacity to do anything more. And it's too painful emotionally to keep coming back to a game that takes everything.
Honestly I just want to go to hospice or get pain meds and start the process of dying now.
Those who say I'll be back. You're probably right. I'll probably reroll a necromancer or something and be a completely timid shut in avoiding any challenge or contact butt just logging in for something to try to do.
I have been hitting the audio books with my eyes shut curled when I can. When I can't EQ.
Yeah it's a cry for help. Butt I don't want or need any. My therapist and I have already been discussing an exit plan with the resources available for me through the VA.
Just. It fucking sucks. I wanted to be able to play this game and make friends. The biggest issue with that is that I can't play long enough continously to be friends and help ppl. That said I had a ton of nice and friendly interactions with ppl. Got to buff ppl with low lvl cleric buffs. Butt that corpse in guk. It's going to rott. With lvl 34 spells and jboots. I can't recover it. It's too much work solo. It's too emotionally painful. It's my reminder that I
am not even good enough to play EQ on quarm in 2023. That is my sign to quit.
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Yesterday I went to Aliberto's Jr in downtown Seattle, somehow their big ass carne asada burrito is still only $7.99; I don't think I really want to know how that is still profitable for them. It tastes somewhere between taco bell and actual food. I ate it in front of a homeless man. I've been violently blasting into my toilet like krakatoa on and off for the past 24 hours, which was exactly the experience I was looking for. I'm eating an edible and going back tonight to try their chorizo. Probably going to need a colostomy bag.
EQ is ur dirty ass burrito and your life is the explosive diarrhea. I don't know what you have to be sad about tbh. What more could you have wanted out of life than miserable, unending cycle of binge and spray? Some people work their entire lives to achieve this lifestyle. It's an inspiration, honestly. I will witness you and continue my descent into retardation in your honor