personal close calls and just the reality of the fucked up situations they walk up on not related to their personal safety, shit like the very real fact a DUI driver is more likely to survive in a fatal wreck than their victims due to the effects of alcohol on muscle relaxation and delayed reaction time so they don't tense up prior to impact
it's a fascinating phenomenon, some double down on faith and can cope with notion that his grand plan is like a cohen brothers movie and others self destruct at their core and become criminals themselves via domestic violence and police brutality or drug use
there's a real problem with cops using fent apparently, and like duh, they use drugs for the same reason others do.
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