Quote:
Originally Posted by Hasbinlulz
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Your first mistake is expecting anything from a romantic partner.
Try to get rid of your expectations and just "be" with her for like a week. Stop trying to make anything happen, just be there, be yourself. Then ask yourself: "Am I having a good time?"
The answer to that question will inform your ultimate question.
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This has to be like... the first insightful thing ive ever read from you.
That being said, there is some truth to what the guy above me said about men being men and whatever. I don't think you're going to score alot of points acting like that all the time, but there's for sure a time and a place for that.
Here's where I'll get serious because i've totally been in your position and know what that's like, and seriously it can kill a relationship. When things start to stagnate in the bedroom and the guy is doing all the work you
will start to feel resentment towards her and pretty soon, she will pick up on that and start to resent you. There is no easy answer, but I do have some suggestions.
Do you guys go out much? I'm not talking out to dinner or visiting friends, everyone does that. Do you ever go anywhere special? Waterfalls, hiking, museums, whatever. Replace those three locations with something you guys are both interested in and make a point to go out and do something a couple times a month.
Don't make sex out to be such a big deal. Yeah, obviously you want sex from your partner, but don't make her feel like she has to do it. It sounds like you guys only have sex when you make a big setup and put a ton of effort in. Stop. Let her notice you're not building a shrine to her vagina three times a week. I promise things will improve. If your relationship is as good as you say, there is no way your fiance will go more than a month or two without jumping you. Hard.
Lastly, and this is really important, make time away from each other besides work. You each need to have your own social lives and interests. Far too many couples spend way too much time together, and its just not healthy. Make time away from each other, because that time is just as important as the time you have together.
If you do all this and you're still not getting what you want from this relationship, there is something else wrong. Either somethings affecting her libido, or you guys are missing something else. I'd strongly suggesting seeing a counselor. They can help.
I'm not a pro at this by any means. Hell, i'm not even very good at it. I absolutely destroyed my previous relationship with my kids mom, and she didnt speak (or even break up) with me for nearly a year, and only then because she had to. But I absolutely do know the things I did wrong in that relationship, learned from them, and am now happy with someone else. Sex is a fantastic gauge of how things are going in a relationship. Not everyone can have hot "we just started dating" sex all the time, but there certainly needs to be some of that in any relationship. I hope this helped, even a little bit, because I can tell you *must* be extremely frustrated to be asking for help in RnF on classic eq forums. Good luck.