You need to be able to either (i) cast a targetable invis on another player (i.e. Cobalt Greaves is your only bet as far as I'm aware; Incarnadine BP is self-only), or (ii) cast an aggressive spell with a non-zero cast time on the NPC in question (That is, with another PC landing an invis on you before your spell fires).
The basic concept is this:
If a player is invisible at the time of aggro'ing a PC, then all those sociable PCs that are in assist aggro range (but do not see invis) will no longer assist aggro.
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