Quote:
Originally Posted by unsunghero
[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
No, sorry, by partner I meant work partner, as in a two person work team. Only ever a co-worker, I’m assuming they probably never hung out outside of work but if so probably at a group thing as friends. So he got attracted to his co-worker, then showed it with the romantic card and flowers. She shot him down, politely, and he threatened to kill himself in response
It is actually a fairly common thing I see on my job from clients from all walks of life, but almost always from people in relationships. The right way to express the hurt or the sadness is to say something like “I have a hard time seeing life without you”, or something of that nature. When it’s more direct “you left me, so I’m going to kill myself”, it’s a control or manipulation tactic more often than it’s a cry for help. But discounting it as such is dangerous, some people will follow through and do it, I’ve seen it happen at work. So the correct response can often be to do what she did, to get the person formal treatment possibly even against their will
This will either do one of 2 things: if their threat was genuine it will literally save their life, or at the very least delay their death a while longer. If the threat was an attempt to manipulate, it will set a boundary of “I’m not going to continue to tolerate you jerking me around emotionally but putting your life in my hands”
However, the most emotional time after getting a rejection starts from the moment it’s read, and tends to go down in time. Which is why it’s better in my opinion to engage the person’s supports such as contacting their friends or family to check on them, and give them time to process and see how they feel a bit later with more mental clarity…before hospitalizing them against their will
Same works for kids, because behavioral kids will often try to leverage suicide or self-harm when they get a consequence. Take it seriously, give them time, and then put a boundary down that they won’t like such as hospitalization and possibly therapy after to learn to express themselves differently
|
Is your job directly relating to this subject? I ask because it's pertinent with a friend of mine who I have known for nearly 30 years now. He is in a relationship, if that is pertinent - since you said your clients often are.
Most of the time, if we talk, and he's been drinking (which he does often), he almost always turns the subject to suicide or something that represents the end, doom, gloom, etc. He claims he is beyond help, and that he's given up on psychiatrists, or medicine, or therapists, or whatever - to him, they are all morons, and he's beyond their help. He is constantly worried that his father will die (his dad's like 85 and in poor health) and he suddenly becomes "patriarch" of his family, his brothers & sisters are all younger and generally do not have their shit together, heroin addiction and various problems.
He and I were having some drinks, as we can do, and he asked me kind of flat-out if him mentioning suicide frequently stressed me out. I told him something like "Yes, it does, because I do not want you to do it and I care about you, but I do not know what to tell you that I have not said a whole bunch of times before"
And since then, this is about... four weeks ago, he's been largely silent. He'll talk to me about a video game, or a tv show, but it's always light stuff - he doesn't talk about 'real' stuff.
Did I make a mistake in telling the truth? It does stress me out, I don't know what to tell him. I have tried a lot of things over the years, this isn't exactly new. I have told him I do not know how to make him want to help himself, I can only talk about what helped me or if I don't know to try helping other people. But still the constant low-key threatening of suicide.
I fear one day he's gonna do it, he's been going on about it for like 20 years now, but it's been worse than ever for like the last five or so