Your wife has deeply-rooted childhood feelings of abandonment by her parents both messing around with their computers instead of spending time with her.
"Mommy want to play tea party with me?"
"Sorry, honey... gotta log into the BBS and play some Trade Wars 2002!"
So the second you want time on the computer, she feels the abandonment and playing second fiddle to a computer for attention all over again. I feel like this might require some couples therapy to help her work through you playing the computer for a few hours a night is not abandoning her... it is simply a personal hobby where you get some "you time" in the marriage, and she's even welcome to join you if she wants so you are still spending time with her.
But yeah, she needs to understand that preventing you from enjoying a hobby because of baggage she has from her childhood isn't fair to you.
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Another witty, informative, and/or retarded post by:
"You know you done fucked up when Yendor gives you raid commentary." - Tiggles
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