[Vormotus]

lets make this the weird posts from the internet thread, my fav to this day is this one, which I have in the company public google sheet weekly in a tab so far down in the doc no one has ever found it, or if they did they never bothered to check in the logs who pasted it there.


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Just happened yesterday!

Went out to a customers house for some work. Friendly guy. Chatted me up and I could tell he wasn’t all there.

He tells me he was supposed to be a fighter pilot but his mom got sick and he had to come home to care for her. Alright, I can follow that. Shit happens. Plans change.

Then he tells me his dad always hated him because he got an education. His brother hates him too for the same reason.

Then, as I’m getting to leave, he must have felt we were friends at this point because he felt it was ok to tell me the “truth”.

Apparently, get this, Satan and Jesus are actually aliens from the planet Paradise orbiting the start Sagittarius. There’s a satellite in orbit of Paradise, called New Jerusalem where Jewish people come from. White people are the only native race of humans on earth. Other ethnicities come from different planets and were out here by Jesus and Satan as part of a sort of large scale project for developing humanity further. The space between Sagittarius and the “all-black” is Hell.

Adam, the first Terran human, turned himself over to Satan when he was cast out of the garden of Eden. This, as far as Satan knew, gave Satan a claim to all of mankind since all Terran humans were defended from Adam through Eve. But, what Satan didn’t know, was that Jesus saw to it that Eve would have a virgin birth.

So, as it turns out, Satan actually has no claim on Terran humans. In order for Satan to have a claim on a human, he has to subjugate them. Since Satan can’t have a direct hand in human affairs, he has to crest flesh and blood vessels for him and his demons to travel to earth to corrupt humans and trick them into subjugation.

This is where the alien abduction stories we hear come from. Demons come down and abduct humans and take them to Paradise to have their genetic information harvested to genetically engineer these vessels.

These vessels, once formed are sent to earth to begin corrupting humans.

Who are these vessels you ask?

Who is it that, whenever they make a command, you have to obey?

Who is it that when you don’t obey a command, you risk immediate death?

Who is it we see as being an enemy of all races of man?

That’s right. None other than the Fraternal Order of Police.

So, when the police stop you and you bow to their will, you’re giving Satan a claim on your undying soul.

If you want to combat them and keep Satan from claiming your soul, all you have to do is tell those demons that you are “owned by the Holy Ghost”. They are powerless whenever that is spoken. It summons the spirit of the Almighty and they know they are no match for him.

He told me a LOT of other wild stuff in this like how he’s dealt with police officers, how he banished the devil from his father, and how Jesse Duplantis has been abducted and taken to the planet Paradise that I can go into more detail on if people are interested.

I was late getting back to the office and my supervisor called me and I told him I had to tell him what I just learned and that I hoped he was sitting down and wasn’t chewing anything because it was some heavy stuff.

We call it the Gospel According to Kirk now.
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